Categories
Divorce Family Law

Millennials Saving Marriage

In a new paper out from the University of Maryland, professor Philip Cohen concludes that between 2008 and 2016, the divorce rate declined by 18 percent overall. The reason? Millennials. Turns out the generation might just be saving marriage.

Millennials Saving Marriage

As part of his research, Cohen accounted for the rising average age of married Americans and other demographic shifts during that time period and found “a less steep decline—8 percent—but the pattern is the same.” That means the divorce rate in 2016 was still lower than one would have predicted if the demographics of married people were the same then as in 2008.

As a whole, millennials have seemingly “slowed down” on the typical trend of school, career, marriage, family, etc… meaning they’re taking longer to figure out what they want to do, investing in careers and building their careers for longer time periods, and then marrying later on as a result of building those careers.

Additionally, millennials tend to have the financial independence (as a result of more time building their careers) to postpone marriage until they’re more confident it will work. This perhaps has been the reason divorce rates have lowered.

According to a 2014 study conducted by the Pew Research Center, 80 percent of never-married women said “finding someone with a steady job would be very important.” The idea of “steady job” just re-enforces the fact that millennials might just be the reason divorce rates are falling.

Divorce Rates

Divorce rates among lower-income families remain stagnant, roughly where they were in the 1980’s, while new research shows higher-income families are seeing a decline in divorce rates. For higher-income families, the phrase “half of every marriage ends in divorce” is no longer true. In fact, the divorce rate has been dropping. In a piece posted on Upshot, the New York Times’ data blog, the divorce rates seen in the late 1970s and early 1980s may have just been a “historical anomaly,” rather than a trend.

 

Divorce Rate Statistics

Below, are a few statistics noted in the Upshot blog:

  • Roughly 70 percent of marriages that began in the 1990s reached 15 years. That’s up from only 65 percent for marriages that began in the 1970s and 1980s. Couples wed in the 2000s are divorcing at even lower rates.
  • According to economists Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfer, the 1970s feminist movement had a considerable impact on where the divorce rate is now. During the movement women entered the work force and gained reproductive rights. As a result, marriages began to evolve into the “modern-day form, based on love and shared passions, and often two incomes and shared housekeeping duties.”
  • There are more mature marriages now as people are marrying later on in life. The median age for marriage during the 1950s was 23 for men and 20 for women. In 2004, it increased to 27 for men and 26 for women.
  • According to Wolfers, if the numbers continue to decrease, roughly two-thirds of marriages will never end in divorce. That’s a giant change from the 50 percent statistic that’s often thrown around.

When it comes to comparing higher-income divorce rates to lower-income divorce rates:

  •  The number of married, college-educated couples that split by their seventh anniversary was 20 percent in the 1980s and is now just 11 percent.
  • Meanwhile,  17 percent of lower-income couples ( in the study this was couples making no more than twice the federal poverty line of just over $30,000) get divorced at roughly the same rate as the 1980’s: 20 percent.

Similar Ideas Regarding Children

But it might not just be the idea of having a steady income that’s impacting divorce rates among lower-income families. It might be more of a shift towards the idea of having a more equal division of domestic life. The Pew Research study found 70 percent of women also want to find a mate that has similar ideas about having and raising children. A 2007 poll conducted by the Pew Research Center found couples want a more even distribution of responsibilities.

This idea of equal responsibilities: the idea of both parents bringing in an income, sharing time with the family, being equal contributors has become a defining feature of a good marriage. According to the poll, it outranks having an adequate income, sharing religious beliefs, or even having children.

50-50 Marriage

Motorists and Cyclists

“What we have is historically high expectations for what young people call a 50-50 marriage,” says Bill Doherty, a professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota.

“People are looking for a high-intimacy, high-income marriage where both partners contribute, regardless of income bracket,” he continued. “Unless you have a good economic base and a certain level of personal maturity, it can be very hard.”

According to The Washington Post‘s Darlena Cunha, this trend towards wanting a 50-50 marriage has it’s downfall for families that night not be able to achieve that standard. Lower-income families, who are struggling economically, are having a harder time managing this kind of ideal marriage belief. And as a result, more lower-income marriages are leading to divorce.

The differing divorce rates between lower-income families and higher-income families is something researchers have been trying to comprehend for years. It can be especially difficult to see a link when studies over the years show that lower-income families value marriage just as other demographics.

“A lot of government policy is based on the assumption that low-income people hold less traditional views about marriage,” says researcher and UCLA professor of psychology, Benjamin Karney. “However, the different income groups do not hold dramatically different views about marriage and divorce — and when the views are different, they are different in the opposite direction from what is commonly assumed.”

According to The New York Times‘ Stephanie Coontz, “Since the 1970s, families have become more egalitarian in their internal relationships. But inequality among families has soared,”she wrote. “Women have become more secure as their real wages and legal rights have increased. But families have become more insecure as their income and job instability have worsened.”

While parents have grown more equal in their internal roles, “rising inequality has changed family dynamics for all socioeconomic groups.”

Women Making Leaps

According to Cunha, women seem to have exited the recession better than men. Following the recession, unemployment levels dropped from historic highs. But this was more so for woman than men. In summer 2013, roughly 7.5 percent of men over age 20 were unemployed. That number was only 6.5 percent for women, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. That, coupled with the ever-increasingly polarized workforce, where high and low income jobs are increasing and middle-income jobs decreasing, has caused women to make even greater leaps. As a result, it seems women are becoming increasingly impatient with the economic stagnation of their male counterparts and family members.

“I realized that since I was the only reliable person in the family making money,” said Cece Azadi of Alabama. “there wasn’t much reason to hold onto that marriage.

Seeking Alimony

It makes sense that women and men are both striving for 50-50 marriages. If you do not feel that is attainable for your marriage and are seeking  divorce, you’ll want to understand the idea of alimony, regardless of if you will need to pay alimony or receive alimony.

Alimony, often called “spousal support” is when one spouse pays the other spouse in order to help that spouse maintain the same financial standard of living as was experienced during the marriage. A divorce court will often require the higher earning spouse to assist the lower earning spouse.

Awarding Alimony

A California judge can award temporary support (“pendente lite”) either during the divorce proceedings, or after the divorce has been finalized.  Alimony payments are made from one spouse to the other in a specified amount for a predetermined period of time. A support payment can also be paid in a single lump-sum. In collaborative process divorce agreements, spouses often come to agreement on the terms and conditions of support payments, which often includes tax agreements and child support tax agreements. As long as an alimony agreement meets legal requirements, a court will uphold an agreement. This is the case even if the divorce agreement provides for a complete waiver of support to the lower-earning spouse.

Duration of Spousal Support

In California, the duration of spousal support agreements are typically determined and based on the length of the marriage. A general rule of thumb is that for a marriage of less than 10 years, a court will not order support payments be made for longer than half the length of the marriage. But if a marriage has lasted 10 years or longer, a court typically will not set a definite termination date for support. Both spouses are able to request modifications to the spousal support agreement indefinitely, unless a termination date has specifically been agreed, or if the court expressly terminates the support at a later hearing.

Awarding Permanent Support

The awarding of “permanent” (meaning the support lasts for a lifetime) is rare, even for marriages that last over 10 years. Family law courts in California tend to require a spouse seeking support to make an effort to become self-supporting through obtaining employment. A spouse making claims they are unable to work, or unable to become fully employed, is required to support the claim with evidence. This typically means a  vocational evaluation must be done. For long term support orders, the support gradually reduces over time by a nominal amount. Permanent support is usually only awarded to spouses that are unable to become self-supporting due to age or disability.

A Family Law Attorney

There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Divorce Family Law

Jobs with the Highest Divorce Rate

What happens when a job interferes with our marriage? Turns out certain jobs are more likely to lead to divorce than others. Here are the jobs that have the highest rate of divorce associated with them.

Jobs with the Highest Divorce Rate

1. Dancer/choreographer

2. Bartender

3. Massage therapist

4. Gaming cage worker

5. Extruding machine operators (someone that works on an assembly line). The theory behind this one is that someone that works on an assembly line is forced to deal with the repetition, alienation, and highly unstable work that can cause a psychological disconnect that can lead to divorce. These types of jobs also tend to be low-paying work performed by people with relatively little education; two factors which can contribute to the stress of faltering marriages.

6. Gaming service worker

7. Factory worker

8. Switchboard operator

9. Nurse/health aide

10. Entertainer/performer/pro athlete

When people think of divorce, it’s not uncommon for those thoughts to be filled with anxiety, fear of potential bickering and ill will, and fear of lawyers who will drag things out and create hostility between you as a couple. But divorce doesn’t have to be a traumatic process when you follow the process associated with a collaborative divorce.

Another Option with Divorce: Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce approaches the divorce process from a different place – a place where you can avoid the court system while putting negotiations and decisions into the hands of the spouses. By utilizing specially trained professionals, opuses are able to come to a decision together.

Collaborative Divorce v. Mediation

Collaborative divorce should not be confused with mediation. In mediation, a couple works with one neutral party. But in collaborative divorce, each spouse has their own team of professionals – including their own attorney, financial advisors, etc. Both spouses and their respective teams meet to identify issues and create solutions.  The time it takes to work through the process is heavily dependent on the issues that need to be worked out. The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals did a survey on the duration of the process and found 58 percent of collaborative divorce cases were completed in less than nine months.

Professionals

The types of professionals you will need for your collaborative divorce team will vary based on the specifics of your divorce. Professionals may include:

  • financial neutrals
  • child specialists
  • mental health professionals
  • business valuators
  • real estate evaluators

This team can help you emerge with a solid footing following your divorce. “You can tell who’s gone through the collaborative process vs. litigation,” said Amy Wolff, a specialist in the financial issues associated with divorce. “The clients who have used the collaborative option emerge from the process more ready to focus; they can bounce back more quickly.” Approaching divorce with the mindset of it being “collaborative” can help ease the tensions surrounding the divorce process.

Move Forward

Moving forward after divorce means that every day you will need to purposefully carve out time progress and improve . It’s so easy for life to get sucked into the vacuum of a busy schedule. As Professor Harold Hill once said: “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.”

Get Out of Survival Mode

Following your divorce you might find your life is filled with the nonessential and trivial. Do you check your ex-spouse’s Facebook every day to see if he or she is dating someone new? Do you obsess and get frustrated with every communication that comes from your ex? Are you resentful? How are you channeling all these new feelings? Are you just trying to survive?

It’s time to take your life back into your own hands.

It’s not uncommon to realize that you were living your life on someone else’s terms. But everything is in your hands now. With a lot of work and strong intention you can design your future. You have to realize you are responsible and you must decide to make a change. Here are some first steps to making that giant leap into your new life:

  • Wake up
  • Get yourself in the zone
  • Get yourself moving
  • Eat well
  • Get ready and inspired
  • Get perspective
  • Do something that will move you forward

Get Enough Sleep

Despite the fact that sleep is just as important for life as eating and drinking water, millions of people do not get enough sleep.

According to the National Sleep Foundation (NSF) 40 million Americans suffer from over 70 different sleep disorders. Additionally, 60 percent of adults and 69 percent of children have one or more sleep problems at least a few nights during a week.

It makes sense then that more than 40 percent of adults experience daytime sleepiness that is severe enough to interfere with daily activities at least a few days every month.

Getting the right amount of sleep can help you have a longer life, increased creativity, memory, attention, and focus. It can help to lower stress and your risk for depression.

Bottom line: you need your beauty sleep.

Find Clarity and Abundance

You need to focus on moving forward toward the positive things in your life. What you set your focus on expands. After waking up from a restful night’s sleep, prayer and meditation can help you orient yourself toward the positive.

Focus on what you are grateful for. This could be the fact that you are out of a relationship and marriage that did not serve you. Maybe you’re just grateful for the fact the sun is shining. There are limitless opportunities and possibilities for you. That air of gratefulness will only draw more positive and good to you.

Start every morning by getting yourself into a space of gratitude and clarity.

Get Some Physical Activity

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By now you know you need to get your exercise. Still, according to the Center for Disease Control’s National Health Interview Survey, only one-third of American men and women between the ages of 25 to 64 engage in regular physical activity.

Regular exercise is can decrease your chance of depression, anxiety, and stress. It’s also been linked to higher success in people’s careers. Any form of exercise works: the gym, yard work, cleaning. Just get your body moving and every aspect of your life will thrive.

Eat/Drink 30 Grams of Protein

Eating protein first thing decreases cravings for white carbohydrates (the type of carbs that can make you fat. Donald Layman, professor emeritus of nutrition at the University of Illinois, recommends eating or drinking at least 30 grams of protein for breakfast. In The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss, he recommends getting 30 grams of protein 30 minutes after waking up.

Food rich in protein will help you feel fuller for longer because they take longer for the body to digest. Protein also keeps blood-sugar levels steady, and thus prevents hunger spikes.

According to Ferriss, eat at least 40% of your breakfast calories as protein: two to three whole eggs, turkey bacon, organic pork bacon or sausage, or cottage cheese. You can also do a protein shake made with water. If you follow a vegetarian or vegan diet you can eat legumes, greens, nuts, and seeds.

Take A Cold Shower

Every morning motivational speaker and life coach Tony Robbins jumps into a 57-degree Fahrenheit swimming pool.

Cold water immersion has been shown to radically facilitate physical and mental wellness with regular practice. It not only changes your body’s immune, lymphatic, circulatory and digestive systems, but it can also increase weight-loss because it boosts your metabolism.

A study done in 2007 found that cold water triggers mood-boosting neurochemicals that make people feel happier. The study concluded that because of this, taking cold showers routinely can help treat depression symptoms. Often, cold showers are more effective than prescription medications.

Sure, none of us wants to step into a cold shower, but try to think of it like getting into a swimming pool. The first 20 seconds feels terrible, but once you’ve done it, it’s fine.

Those who do this report feeling an increase in willpower, creativity, motivation, and inspiration.

Do You Have a Life Vision? 

If you haven’t written down your short and long-term goals, you should. Just reviewing them a few minutes a day can put your day into perspective. Chances are some things have changed after your divorce. Take some time to re-focus your energy on what you really want to accomplish.

Reading your long-term goals every day will make sure you think about them every day. As you spend your days working towards your goals, they’ll manifest.

There’s a science to achieving goals, which removes the confusion and ambiguity of them. If you stick to a pattern, you can accomplish your goals, regardless of if they are large or small.

Write them down and review them every single day.

Moving Forward

A divorce can shatter your life if you let it. So don’t let it.

Every day you can move forward with these steps. Put a plan in place to succeed. Every step on that plan brings you closer to your dreams. Maybe that means finally having a day where you don’t feel guilty or sad about your divorce. Maybe it’s a day of less resentment. Maybe it’s a day where you focus on getting healthy by preparing a good meal for yourself.

Making small steps every day like the ones outlined above will change your life. And as a result, the universe will respond to you in beautiful ways.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

Whatever your reason is for divorce, you should consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Family Law

UK Divorce Rate Rising for the First Time in Five Years

According to figures from the Office for National Statistics, the rate of divorce in the United Kingdom has increased for the first time in five years.

UK Divorce Rate Rising for the First Time in Five Years

According to figures from the Office for National Statistics, in the UK there were 106,959 divorces of opposite-sex couples in 2016, an increase of 5.8% compared with 2015. The last time there was such a large increase in divorce rate was between 2011 and 2012.

That rate appeared to be highest among men aged 45 to 49 and women aged 30 to 39. The group that saw the largest increase was the over-50s age group. The cause? It appears “unreasonable behavior” was listed as the most common grounds for divorce –  accounting for 96% of divorces among men and 93% among women.

“Despite this small rise, it is important to remember that rates of divorce are still below 2014 levels and it appears that the overall trend continues to be downward,” said Chris Sherwood from relationship support charity, Relate.

Common Reasons for Divorce

Chances are you have a friend or family member that has gone through divorce. It’s not easy and there are many factors that contribute to the dissolution of a marriage. It can be any number of combinations of reasons that cause two people to say that’s it. Here are some common reasons:

Lack of communication. When you are unable to communicate with your partner, you create distance. This can be from lack of sharing feelings, or not keeping your partner in the loop about what’s happening with you emotionally. A successful relationship is one that has open lines of communication. Otherwise it can feel like nothing is ever resolved, and as if you aren’t even talking about why things can’t be resolved. Additionally, chances are you both feel as if something is being left unsaid. These feelings can multiply over time and become much larger than they were at the beginning. You might consider working with a relationship therapist to learn how to communicate effectively.

When You Might Consider a Lawyer for Personal Injury Claims

Financial Issues. Money, and lack of it, can lead to a lot of problems in relationships. Often times two people have very different mindsets when it comes to saving and spending. If you and your spouse are not in agreement when it comes to how to manage your money, it can cause a lot of problems. Sit down and have an open conversation about how you relate to money and what your goals are. You might find one spouse wants to save to buy a house or to go on a big vacation, while the other spouse would rather go out to dinner every night of the week and have a closet filled with amazing clothes. You might have different goals, and neither one is wrong. Try to find a middle ground. You might also want to speak with a financial adviser that can take a look at your financial situation and advise you on how to move forward based on your joint goals.

Feeling Held Back. When you first started dating your spouse you may have felt as if the sky was the limit, or maybe you felt like you needed to change yourself a little for him or her. Over the course of a marriage things can change. You might feel now as if your spouse and marriage are holding you back from achieving goals and taking opportunities. If you don’t feel supported by your spouse you can begin to feel as if you are being held back from really accomplishing what you want to during your lifetime. Try to get a clear-headed assessment. Are you really being held back? Or maybe it’s just how you are perceiving the situation. An open conversation might be the best place to start.

Trust. Trust is one of the leading factors in having a successful relationship and marriage. It can be impossible to achieve anything if you do not trust each other. Ask yourself if there’s a reason for the lack of trust. Was there an infidelity or past infidelities? Or are you just reading into things? Try to get a clear head about why there is not trust in your relationship. Maybe working with a relationship therapist can help you both deal with any trust issues.

Expectations. If you expected one thing at the beginning of the relationship and you aren’t getting it now, or your expectations have changed, you might find that you aren’t as happy in your relationship as you could be.

Your spouse doesn’t understand or fulfill your needs and desires. We all have different needs and wants that need to be met by the significant other in our lives. If you have a partner that doesn’t acknowledge your interests and desires then they won’t do what they can to fulfill your needs and wants.

Sudden Life Change. New changes happen at every moment in our lives. This can be the birth of a child, death of a parent, sudden job loss, a new opportunity for a job across the country. You will both need to be adaptable and know how to be supportive of each other. Life is unplanned, but you should be able to plan that your spouse will be there to support you whether its a good change or a difficult one.

Domestic Violence. If you’ve been in a situation, or are currently in a situation, where your partner has been abusive or controlling in any manner, you should consider seeking help. If need be, contact a trusted family, friend, or an attorney about this matter.

Uncommon Reasons for Divorce

wistful

There are common reasons for divorce, and then there are the uncommon ones like these:

Didn’t Like the Movie “Frozen.” After finding out that her husband “didn’t care for” the film “Frozen,” according to the U.K.’s Metro News, a Japanese woman divorced him, saying, “If you can’t understand what makes this movie great, there’s something wrong with you as a human being.”

Possessed by a Genie. After his wife refused to sleep with him, one Dubai man divorced his wife. Her family told him she was possessed by a “dijn,” a type of genie from Arabic mythology, according to Gulf News. Apparently, several religious experts had already attempted to exorcise the genie but were unsuccessful.

Broken Penis Extension. According to the U.K.’s Metro News, a Russian man got a penis prosthetic after finding out that his wife was unsatisfied in bed. When it fell off and he didn’t get a new one, his wife said she was fed up and wanted a divorce.

“Excessive and insatiable desire for sex.” An Indian man divorced his wife because she had an insatiable sex drive. In divorce course he said she had been “aggressive, stubborn and autocratic,” and had forced him to take medication to boost his sexual stamina. She also threatened to sleep with other men if he failed to satisfy her.

“Guantanamo.” A Saudi woman filed for divorce after she found out her husband had nicknamed her “Guantanamo” in his cellphone. According to Al Arabiya news, she discovered the unflattering nickname when she called his cellphone and realized he had left it at home. The man defended himself, saying the nickname was to protect the couple’s privacy. “I don’t want people sitting around me to know that this is my wife calling,” he said.

Parrot Spills the Beans. According to ABC News, a Chinese woman learned of her  husband’s infidelity from the couple’s pet parrot when he started  saying the words “divorce,” “I love you,” and “be patient.” She took the parrot with her to the divorce lawyer.

Too Many Cats. When people hate cats, they really hate cats. And when they love them, they really love them. Apparently, enough to give up their marriage.  According to the Times of Israel, a man divorced his wife after she brought home 550 cats. In court he said he was unable to sleep on the bed and unable to eat meals because the cats were always in the way or stealing his food. The woman refused to give up the cats so the husband decided to give up the marriage.

Cleaned Too Much. A German woman divorced her husband after 15 years of marriage. The reason? According to Reuters, it was because she couldn’t stand his constant cleaning. He constantly tidied and rearranged furniture. Sounds pretty tame… except for the time he tore down a wall in their home because he thought it was too dirty.

Kissed a horse. A man divorced his wife after eh found a photo of her on one of her social networks in which she was kissing a horse. He thought it was cheating. She thought it was crazy that he did. According to Emirates 24/7, the woman said she didn’t want to be with a man who thinks kissing a horse constitutes cheating.

Affair – 70 Years Earlier. An Italian couple ended their marriage in 2011 after the 99-year-old husband found love letters from the 1940s that had been written between his 96-year-old wife and her former flame.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

Whatever your reason is for divorce, whether it’s a common one, or a bizarre and uncommon one, you should consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Divorce Family Law

Does Your “Type” of Marriage Doom You for Divorce?

It turns out that your marriage ending in divorce might depend on your education level.

Does Your “Type” of Marriage Doom You for Divorce?

Eli J. Finkel, a professor at Northwestern University and the author of “The All-or-Nothing Marriage” explains one specific type of marriage might be most likely to end in divorce.

As a psychologist, Finkel studies couples. She often brings them into the lab and videotapes them in order to decode their behaviors. She then follows up with them over time to see how happy they are or whether they break up. As a result of her research, she’s discovered just how different marriage rates and divorce rates are among people who are better educated versus less educated.

Among people who have college degrees, the divorce rates have plummeted since about 1980 and have come down significantly since. “But people who don’t have a high school degree, people who are relatively uneducated have a higher divorce rate than ever, and a lower marriage rate, and when they are married, the marriages tend not to be as satisfying,” she says.

The reason behind this? Finkel thinks that what’s “going on is it’s really difficult to have a productive, happy marriage when your life circumstances are so stressful and when your day-to-day life involves, say three or four bus routes in order to get to your job.”

Common Reasons for Divorce

Chances are you have a friend or family member that has gone through divorce. It’s not easy and there are many factors that contribute to the dissolution of a marriage. It can be any number of combinations of reasons that cause two people to say that’s it. Here are some common reasons:

Lack of communication. When you are unable to communicate with your partner, you create distance. This can be from lack of sharing feelings, or not keeping your partner in the loop about what’s happening with you emotionally. A successful relationship is one that has open lines of communication. Otherwise it can feel like nothing is ever resolved, and as if you aren’t even talking about why things can’t be resolved. Additionally, chances are you both feel as if something is being left unsaid. These feelings can multiply over time and become much larger than they were at the beginning. You might consider working with a relationship therapist to learn how to communicate effectively.

When You Might Consider a Lawyer for Personal Injury Claims

Financial Issues. Money, and lack of it, can lead to a lot of problems in relationships. Often times two people have very different mindsets when it comes to saving and spending. If you and your spouse are not in agreement when it comes to how to manage your money, it can cause a lot of problems. Sit down and have an open conversation about how you relate to money and what your goals are. You might find one spouse wants to save to buy a house or to go on a big vacation, while the other spouse would rather go out to dinner every night of the week and have a closet filled with amazing clothes. You might have different goals, and neither one is wrong. Try to find a middle ground. You might also want to speak with a financial adviser that can take a look at your financial situation and advise you on how to move forward based on your joint goals.

Feeling Held Back. When you first started dating your spouse you may have felt as if the sky was the limit, or maybe you felt like you needed to change yourself a little for him or her. Over the course of a marriage things can change. You might feel now as if your spouse and marriage are holding you back from achieving goals and taking opportunities. If you don’t feel supported by your spouse you can begin to feel as if you are being held back from really accomplishing what you want to during your lifetime. Try to get a clear-headed assessment. Are you really being held back? Or maybe it’s just how you are perceiving the situation. An open conversation might be the best place to start.

Trust. Trust is one of the leading factors in having a successful relationship and marriage. It can be impossible to achieve anything if you do not trust each other. Ask yourself if there’s a reason for the lack of trust. Was there an infidelity or past infidelities? Or are you just reading into things? Try to get a clear head about why there is not trust in your relationship. Maybe working with a relationship therapist can help you both deal with any trust issues.

Expectations. If you expected one thing at the beginning of the relationship and you aren’t getting it now, or your expectations have changed, you might find that you aren’t as happy in your relationship as you could be.

Your spouse doesn’t understand or fulfill your needs and desires. We all have different needs and wants that need to be met by the significant other in our lives. If you have a partner that doesn’t acknowledge your interests and desires then they won’t do what they can to fulfill your needs and wants.

Sudden Life Change. New changes happen at every moment in our lives. This can be the birth of a child, death of a parent, sudden job loss, a new opportunity for a job across the country. You will both need to be adaptable and know how to be supportive of each other. Life is unplanned, but you should be able to plan that your spouse will be there to support you whether its a good change or a difficult one.

Domestic Violence. If you’ve been in a situation, or are currently in a situation, where your partner has been abusive or controlling in any manner, you should consider seeking help. If need be, contact a trusted family, friend, or an attorney about this matter.

Uncommon Reasons for Divorce

wistful

There are common reasons for divorce, and then there are the uncommon ones like these:

Didn’t Like the Movie “Frozen.” After finding out that her husband “didn’t care for” the film “Frozen,” according to the U.K.’s Metro News, a Japanese woman divorced him, saying, “If you can’t understand what makes this movie great, there’s something wrong with you as a human being.”

Possessed by a Genie. After his wife refused to sleep with him, one Dubai man divorced his wife. Her family told him she was possessed by a “dijn,” a type of genie from Arabic mythology, according to Gulf News. Apparently, several religious experts had already attempted to exorcise the genie but were unsuccessful.

Broken Penis Extension. According to the U.K.’s Metro News, a Russian man got a penis prosthetic after finding out that his wife was unsatisfied in bed. When it fell off and he didn’t get a new one, his wife said she was fed up and wanted a divorce.

“Excessive and insatiable desire for sex.” An Indian man divorced his wife because she had an insatiable sex drive. In divorce course he said she had been “aggressive, stubborn and autocratic,” and had forced him to take medication to boost his sexual stamina. She also threatened to sleep with other men if he failed to satisfy her.

“Guantanamo.” A Saudi woman filed for divorce after she found out her husband had nicknamed her “Guantanamo” in his cellphone. According to Al Arabiya news, she discovered the unflattering nickname when she called his cellphone and realized he had left it at home. The man defended himself, saying the nickname was to protect the couple’s privacy. “I don’t want people sitting around me to know that this is my wife calling,” he said.

Parrot Spills the Beans. According to ABC News, a Chinese woman learned of her  husband’s infidelity from the couple’s pet parrot when he started  saying the words “divorce,” “I love you,” and “be patient.” She took the parrot with her to the divorce lawyer.

Too Many Cats. When people hate cats, they really hate cats. And when they love them, they really love them. Apparently, enough to give up their marriage.  According to the Times of Israel, a man divorced his wife after she brought home 550 cats. In court he said he was unable to sleep on the bed and unable to eat meals because the cats were always in the way or stealing his food. The woman refused to give up the cats so the husband decided to give up the marriage.

Cleaned Too Much. A German woman divorced her husband after 15 years of marriage. The reason? According to Reuters, it was because she couldn’t stand his constant cleaning. He constantly tidied and rearranged furniture. Sounds pretty tame… except for the time he tore down a wall in their home because he thought it was too dirty.

Kissed a horse. A man divorced his wife after eh found a photo of her on one of her social networks in which she was kissing a horse. He thought it was cheating. She thought it was crazy that he did. According to Emirates 24/7, the woman said she didn’t want to be with a man who thinks kissing a horse constitutes cheating.

Affair – 70 Years Earlier. An Italian couple ended their marriage in 2011 after the 99-year-old husband found love letters from the 1940s that had been written between his 96-year-old wife and her former flame.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

Whatever your reason is for divorce, whether it’s a common one, or a bizarre and uncommon one, you should consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

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Divorce Family Law

The Truth About the Divorce Rate

It’s a staggering statistic – half of all marriages end in divorce — but is it really true?

The Truth About the Divorce Rate

We’ve heard for years that 50% of marriages end in divorce, but the truth is divorce rates are falling, not rising. In fact, according to researchers, the rate of divorce in the U.S. actually peaked at about 40% around 1980. And it’s been declining ever since.

Data from the National Survey of Family Growth determined the probability of a first marriage lasting at least a decade was 68% for women and 70% for men between 2006 and 2010. The probability that they would make it 20 years was 52% for women and 56% for men.

So what’s with the whole 50% thing? The original claim was made in a 1980 census report that predicted half of the couples married between 1976 and 1977 would eventually end up divorced and that rates would only increase from there.

The Steps of the Divorce Process

Whatever your reason for considering divorce, there are set steps you will need to take to get divorced. Hence, we bring you a “how-to” for getting divorced.

Step 1: Decide How to Proceed18640254_s

How you begin your divorce will be dependent on the particulars of your marriage and your relationship. A divorce of a marriage where the spouses have been married for a short period of time, have no children, and little property or debts is typically less involved than a divorce where the couple has been married for a long period of time, shares minor children, or where there is significant property or debt to be divided. If both parties are seeking the divorce, the process will most likely be easier, versus a situation where one spouse is contesting the divorce.  You will need to take a look at your specific situation in order to best gauge how you want to proceed.

Step 2: The Divorce Petition 

To start the divorce process one of the spouses must file a divorce petition. Even if both spouses are in agreement, one of them must file a petition that states the grounds of the divorce with the court asking for the divorce. Grounds for the divorce vary from state to state. California is a no-fault state, meaning no fault is placed on either party regardless of infidelity, etc…  But all jurisdictions allow for some type of no-fault grounds such as “irreconcilable differences.” Some states will consider fault grounds for divorce, such as adultery or abandonment. A family law attorney will be able to advise you your state specific laws regarding grounds for divorce

Step 3: Temporary Orders 

If one spouse is seeking to receive financial support (as alimony) or custody of children, that spouse will need to ask the court for temporary orders for that support and custody. This temporary order is usually granted within a few days of the initial petition and will remain in effect until the full divorce court hearing. If the party seeking the temporary order is the same party who is filing the divorce petition, it’s advised that they file both the divorce petition and the temporary order at the same time. If you are not the party that filed the divorce petition, but are looking for support or child custody, you should file your request for that support as soon as possible.

Step 4: Proof of Service and Responding

Once a spouse files for divorce he or she also needs to file for a proof of service of process. This document proves that a copy of the divorce petition was given to the other party. Your family law attorney can help ensure this is done, or you can work with a process server. If both spouses have agreed to divorce, it’s usually the spouse that files the divorce that arranges for the the  service of process to the other party’s attorney.

When the service of process is received, that spouse needs to file a response to the divorce petition. In states where grounds for divorce can be filed, this response is where to address or dispute those grounds for divorce. Also, if the spouse receiving the petition has any disagreement with the put forth property division, support, custody terms, or any other issue, this should be added to the response.

Step 5: Negotiating

When two spouses are not in agreement on child custody and visitation, child support, property division and any spousal support, they will need to find a way to negotiate the terms of their divorce. Disagreeing spouses might consider working with a meditation lawyer, as it is in their best interest to work out as much as possible out of court. This will help to cut down on legal fees and time spent arguing. The negotiation process is the hardest part of the divorce process. As we all know from public divorce disputes, the negotiations can sometimes take years if a couple is not able to come to an agreement.

Step 6: Order of Dissolution

Once everything is decided upon an order of dissolution is created that outlines out how the property and debts are to be divided, what child custody and visitation schedule is, what support payments (spousal and child) need to be paid, and any other aspects that have been agreed on. If the spouses are able to negotiate their own resolution to all of these aspects, their lawyers will draft the order of dissolution and submit it to the court. If the Order of Dissolution complies with legal requirements and both parties entered into it knowingly and willingly and can attest to it, then the judge approves it. At this point, the divorce is finalized.

Moving Forward After Divorce

There are some pointers we can offer once you begin to move forward from your divorce.

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Perspective
Yup, it’s true, hindsight is 20/20. You have to walk through something, get a far way ahead of it, and only then can you look back and see just how important that process was. At that point you can see the beginning, the middle, and the end, and how that end is so clear and empty of emotional and clutter. Take this new clarity and run with it. That perspective can give you amazing information you need to change your own behaviors and to improve your future relationships.

Gratitude After Divorce

After you lose everything, you take nothing for granted. Divorce can be like losing everything:  past memories, your present marriage, and future dreams. Let that be your determination to survive. But this is also a time to lean on friends and family that stepped up and stood by. They will lift you up, even when you can’t lift yourself. Be grateful for them, and try to show them that you are. If not now, then try to later. Sometimes the Thanksgiving holiday makes this process of showing gratitude easier – it’s a whole holiday built around being thankful. Try to focus on that aspect of the holiday, rather than on what you might no longer have. 

Empathy
When you have felt pain, you honor and respect that pain in others. Divorce can make you more empathetic towards people facing any form of loss. You will move towards acceptance and forgiveness of your situation and your ex. And with this movement will come the ability to see things from other people’s viewpoints, making you a better friend, and a better person to be in a relationship with (down the line, when you are ready for one).

Divorce wipes away the ego that believes it’s shameful to ask for help. After you admonish this, you will be able to accept help for yourself, and then be able to offer help to others who are in need.

Responsibility
It’s easy to blame your ex, to place the responsibility for the divorce in his or her hands. We also might realize that all too often we have looked to them to provide happiness or support for making decisions. This interdependency ends with divorce. It’s good to be interdependent, but divorce requires that you learn to be independent. You’re going to be steering this ship on your own, and maybe steering it through the holidays on your own. You’re going to have to be responsible for your own things now: happiness, support, etc. Let this empower you though rather than make you feel lost or scared. You’re completely in control now. You can change. It’s your life now.

Humility

Divorce teaches us that no matter how much we want something to be true, we can’t force it into being. All those choice you made have consequences. And maybe now you are being forced to see them. Sure, you might have said “divorce will never happen to me,” but now it has. You’re going to have to admit that it can happen to anyone. Let this “slap” of reality force you to embrace acceptance while also redefining expectations. You’re not immune to anything.

Awareness
Divorce can be a wake-up call. Often times people realize they were living in a kind of “auto-pilot” mode when they said their “I dos.” The clarity and awareness you have after saying your “I Un-dos” might provide you with a sense of awareness that wasn’t there before. A lot of people turn to meditation and yoga during the divorce process because it settles the mind to allow for awareness. This mindfulness and consciousness will be helpful moving forward in your new life.

Ingenuity
Divorce is also a way to test your abilities… all of them. Your negotiating skills, your financial skills, your balanced budgeting skills, co-parenting abilities. You are the only problem solver now. You will need to work out how to afford your rent on a portion of the budget you once had. You will also need to learn how to co-parent, potentially with an ex you hate (for now). But the more you are placed in these new positions, the better you will become at those tasks.

Wisdom from Divorce
Divorce can be an opportunity for reflection and analysis. You are now raw and ready to learn new ways of doing things, in addition to just learning new ways to move on and cope.

Working with A Family Law Attorney

When it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce Marital Property Division

A Cheap Wedding Might Save Your Marriage

A recent study done by two economics professors at Emory University, found a correlation between couples who went cheap on their wedding and the length of marriage. Turns out, cutting down on the big day splurges might actually indicate your marriage will last longer.

The professors also found similar link between less-expensive engagement rings and lower divorce rates.

The Study

The surveys were completed by 3,151 adults in the United States who are married, or have been married. The authors believe this is the first time the correlation between wedding expenses and the length of marriages has been examined.

The research also shows that women that spent more than $20,000 on their weddings were divorced at a rate roughly 1.6 times higher than women who spent between $5,000 and $10,000 on the big day. It also showed that couples who spent $1,000 or less on their nuptial ceremony had a lower than average rate of divorce.

Theories

Though the authors of the study, Professor Hugo M. Mialon and Andrew M. Francis, didn’t examine why this might be, they do have a few theories.

“It could be that the type of couples who have a … (cheap wedding) are the type that are a perfect match for each other,” said Mialon. “Or it could be that having an inexpensive wedding relieves young couples of financial burdens that may strain their marriage.”

Average Wedding Cost

According to a survey of 13,000 brides and grooms done performed by the wedding website, TheKnot.com, couples in the U.S. spent an average of $29,858 for their 2013 weddings.

“The wedding industry has long associated lavish weddings with longer-lasting marriages. Industry advertising has fueled norms that create the impression that spending large amounts on the wedding is a signal of commitment or is necessary for a marriage to be successful,” said Francis. “Overall, our findings provide little evidence to support the validity of the wedding industry’s general message that connects expensive weddings with positive marital outcomes,” he said.

The More the Merrier?

But maybe it’s not just cheaper = happier. It could also be that more people actually equals merrier. The study additionally found that the more people that attend the wedding, the lower the divorce rate.

“This could be evidence of a community effect, i.e., having more support from friends and family may help the couple to get through the challenges of marriage,” Francis said. “Or this could be that the type of couples who have a lot of friends and family are also the type that tend not to divorce as much.”

For advice on divorce, you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Source: CNN.com, Want a happy marriage? Have a big, cheap wedding, October 13, 2014

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce

Divorce Rate Not As Bad As You Think

There’s a common statistic tossed around when people talk about the divorce rate: “50% of U.S. marriages end in divorce.” But it’s apparently not true.

Divorce Rate Not 50%

A recent piece published by the New York Times’ blog Upshot reports that the divorce rate is not only not at 50%, but it’s not rising either. It’s actually been dropping for the past years, making what was a high divorce rate in the late 1970s and early 1980s perhaps just a “historical anomaly,” and not an actual trend.

Some New Stats

Here are a few more facts the piece uncovers:

  • Roughly 70% of marriages that married in the 1990s reached their 15th wedding anniversary – this is an increase from the 65% of marriages began in the 1970s and 1980s.
  • Couples who wed in the 2000s are getting divorced at even lower rates than those marriages that began in the 1990s.
  • According to economists Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfer, the  1970s feminist movement had a big impact on where the divorce rate stands now. As women entered the work force and birth control was made more available, marriage began to turn into its “modern-day form, based on love and shared passions, and often two incomes and shared housekeeping duties.”
  • People are marrying later in life – they often seek having full careers before “settling down.” Median age for marriage in the 1950s was 23 for men, 20 for women. In 2004, the median age for marriage was 27 for men, 26 for women. Getting married later in life allows people to really know what they want or don’t want out of a mate, thus making marriages more stable once entered into.

Seeking a Divorce

While the divorce rate may be lower than you thought, people still find themselves unhappy in their marriages. The spike seen in the 1970s and 1980s might have also been the result of divorce becoming more socially acceptable. Prior to that, people feared being judged, and thus stayed in unhappy marriages. Luckily, that isn’t the case anymore, and unhappy couples are free to divorce and start new lives. If you’re seeking a divorce, you might want to consider working with a divorce attorney that can help you through what can be a difficult process.

 

Source: The Huffington Post, The Truth About The Divorce Rate Is Surprisingly Optimistic, December 2, 2014

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co