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What The Pitt-Jolie Divorce Might Mean For Their Children

According to court documents released this week, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s marriage is coming to an end. The couple listed their separation date as September 15, just two years and one month after they married in August 2014. Jolie is seeking physical custody with visitation and legal custody rights for Pitt. Below we discuss just what Pitt and Jolie might be facing as they determine their divorce agreement.

Forms of Child Custody

There are different forms of child custody: legal custody, physical custody, sole custody, and joint custody.

Physical Custody

Physical custody means a parent has gained the legal right (typically through a court ruling) to have a child live with him or her. Usually if a parent has physical custody they also have sole custody of the child, which means the other parent has visitation rights.

Sole Custody

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There are two forms of sole custody a parent can have: sole legal custody or sole physical custody. Courts seem to be moving away from awarding sole custody to one parent as more information is coming out about the importance of having both parents in a child’s life. In cases where a parent has been deemed unfit due to a history of neglect or abuse, a known dependency on drugs or alcohol, or a new parent that has been deemed unfit, a court will usually award sole physical custody to one parent.  It’s advised that unless a parent has demonstrated the above issues, that you do not seek sole custody, due to the importance of having both parents in a child’s life.

While the trend is to award joint custody, in cases where courts do award sole physical custody the parents still usually share joint legal custody (which means both parents are able to make legal decisions regarding the child), unless a parent has been deemed unfit to make those legal decisions.

Legal Custody

Legal custody allows a parent to make decisions regarding various aspects of a child’s life, including education, religion, and medical care or legal issues.

Joint Custody

Joint custody is able to be awarded to the parents if they are divorced, separated, no longer living together, or if they never lived together but still shared a child. The awarding of joint custody to both parents means each parent is able to make decisions regarding the child. Joint custody also comes in various forms, including joint legal custody, joint physical custody, or joint legal and physical custody. Usually, if a couple shares joint physical custody they also share joint legal custody. But if a couple shares joint legal custody they do not always also share joint physical custody.

Preparing for Your Child Custody Case Hearing

One you have filed your petition to be granted sole child custody you will receive a date for either a mediation session or a court hearing. You’ll want to be prepared going into this meeting. Here are some steps to prepare.

Work with Your Family Law Attorney

Your family law attorney will help you prepare for the mediation or court hearing. If you have been working with a family law attorney up to this point, chances are you have already built your case for why the other parent is unfit to raise the child or children you share. If you have not been working with a family law attorney, you will need to gather evidence of this on your own. We’ll discuss this more in depth further below.

Serve the Other Parent

After the petition has been filed, you’ll need to let the other parent know that you have done so and that you are requesting that a change be made to the current custody agreement. You can either work with your family law attorney to have the notification served, or work with a service company or the courthouse to have this done.  Once the notification is served, the person who served the papers will need to provide you with proof that the other parent has been made aware. This is called “Proof of Service.” You’ll need to provide this to the court.

Preparing Evidence

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Family law courts prefer to award joint custody to both parents. Because of this, you will need to prove that the other parent is unfit and unable to handle custody of your child. This may be proven a number of ways. Here are a few examples:

  • A history of abuse or neglect. Are there any police reports that have been filed against the other parent? Are there other pieces of evidence? Are there witnesses that can corroborate your story?
  • Lifestyle. Does the other parent have a job? Is it a steady job that can ensure the other parent is able to financially take care of the child? Where does the other parent live? Is it a safe environment?
  • Emotional and physical health. Is the other parent physically and mentally able to care for the child?

Once you have prepared all your evidence, either on your own or with the help of a family law attorney, you will be ready for the mediation or court hearing. If during the mediation session you are unable to come to an agreement, then the case will need to go before a judge. Hopefully, either through mediation or the court hearing, you will then be granted with sole child custody.

It should be noted that if a parent strongly disagrees with how the court has decided on the custody case, there is always an option to appeal.

Appealing Child Custody Decisions

Child custody cases are difficult due to the nature of the subject. A family law court will always rule in the best interest of the child. It’s important to note that an appeals court will not review a case just because one party disagrees with what the judge decided. If you feel your child custody agreement was arrived at because the court made a substantive error (either procedural or legal) you are able to appeal the court’s decision. Here’s how to appeal a child custody ruling.

Work with a Family Law Attorney

Working with a family law attorney will help you prove your case. In the case of appealing an already decided agreement, the family law attorney will need to prove that the previous decision was arrived at inaccurately due to a legal error or a procedural error.

Rules of Your Jurisdiction

Every state has different rules that given child custody cases and appeals. A family law attorney will be familiar with the rules of your specific jurisdiction and will be able to help guide you through the process. If you are not working with a family law attorney, you will need to research the rules on your own. These jurisdiction rules govern what your timeline is for filing an appeal to your child custody case, as well as exact guidelines for what should be contained in the petition to appeal. You can find these rules online or at your local courthouse.

Prepare an Appellate Petition

Next, you will need to prepare an appellate petition. This petition outlines why you are appealing the current child custody decision, as well as lists the errors that the lower court made when deciding on your child custody decision. If you are not working with a family law attorney, you might want to have the petition you fill out reviewed by one, just to ensure it has been done correctly. Next, you will file this petition with the court, as well as have a notification of the filing served to your opposing party.

Review of Appellate Petition

The court will then review the appellate petition and decide whether or not to hear your child custody appeal. If the court decides to hear your case, you will need to prepare a brief that explains your reasons for appealing the initial child custody agreement. This brief should include the lower court’s rules, case law, and all the facts that were presented in the initial custody hearing. A judge will review this and offer a final decision.

When parents live in different locations, either different states, countries, or even towns, the issue of child custody can become very difficult. It’s not uncommon for parents to request move away court orders.

Move Away Court Orders

If you are facing a case such as this one, the first thing you need to identify is if you are able to move away and relocate your child. Most courts will not allow a parent to relocate the child unless he or she has received written consent from the other parent or a court.

During a question of relocating a child the court takes the “best interest of the child” into account, considering these factors:

  • Is the current child custody arrangement stable?
  • Where is the new location? How far away is it from the household of the remaining parent?
  • What will be the financial impact (for both parents)?
  • Age of the child
  • What is the current relationship between the parents and the child?
  • Are the parents able to co-parent?
  • What are the child’s wishes (this is often dependent on the child’s age)?
  • Does the child require special accommodations? If so, are these accommodations available in the new location?
  • Reason for the move
  • Any additional factors

Working with A Family Law Attorney

When it comes to child custody decisions, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney. There are a number of things that need to be considered, namely the best interests of the child, but also what type of custody you are hoping to acheive. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

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Depp and Heard Agreement: The Saga Continues

In mid-August Amber Heard announced she would be donating the $7 million she was awarded as part of her divorce settlement from Johnny Depp to her two favorite charities – the American Civil Liberties Union, with a focus on battling violence against women, and Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles. The actress has volunteered at the charities for 10 years. But it seems that Depp is looking to avoid the middle man, and has sine decided to donate the settlement money directly to the charities in a series of installments.

Depp and Heard Agreement: The Saga Continues

In response to Depp’s announcement, Heard’s legal team responded, saying that while the actress “appreciates Johnny Depp’s novel interest in supporting two of her favorite charities,” the act is in violation of the terms of the settlement the couple had arrived at.

“If Johnny wishes to change the settlement agreement, we must insist that he honor the full amount by donating $14M to charity, which, after accounting for his tax deduction, is equal to his $7M payment obligation to Amber,” the statement continued.

“Anything less would be a transparent attempt by Johnny’s counsel, Laura Wasser and Patti Glaser, to reduce their client’s true payment by half under the guise of newfound concern for charities that he has never previously supported,” the statement concluded.

Meanwhile, the ACLU has confirmed that it has already received the funds, while the Children’s Hospital Los Angeles “has received the first installment and we are grateful to Mr. Depp,” according to DeAnn S. Marshall, senior vice president, chief development and marketing officer of the hospital.

Divorce Settlements

No one has ever said that divorce is a cheap process. For the most part, if you and your spouse are unable to come to a decision on things, divorce can be an expensive process with an expensive aftermath.

To Consider

If you are unhappy and unable to continue your marriage, then divorce might be the best option for you. There are some financial considerations you will need to make. Here’s a little of what you can expect:

  • Living as a single person costs more. This can be increasingly true for couples that share children.
  • Your standard of living might drop because of increased living costs that are no longer being shared.

But there are ways to minimize the financial damage. You’ll want to review these steps if divorce is in your future.

Minimize Financial Pain During Divorce

Work with a Lawyer

Negotiation versus Litigation in a Slip and Fall Case

Even if you have decided that you don’t want to work with an attorney, at least consult one so that you are aware of your rights and options. You need to protect yourself. Even the most amicable of divorces can get sticky when it comes to ironing out the legal ramifications and you’ll want to do the best you can when it comes to protecting yourself. Remember that bitterness can cause people to do things they wouldn’t normally. Most lawyers offer a free first consultation.

Look at Your Credit Reports

You are able to pull free credit reports three times a year. These reports show all of the credit accounts that exist in your name, in addition to those you share with others. You’ll want to look for new accounts opened in your name and any changes that are unexpected. Your credit score can be damaged by a spouse that fails to pay joint bills.

Close and Monitor Your Joint Accounts

A lot of times divorcing spouses will move money from joint accounts to individual accounts so that the other spouse is unable to recover the cash. A lot of times this leads to large amounts of debt on joint credit cards, for which the innocent spouse is also responsible for.

The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau says:

When you have a joint account, each account holder is responsible for the full amount of the balance. The card issuer can seek to collect the amount due from either account holder.

Because of this, it’s advised that you close or freeze your shared financial accounts, including credit cards, joint bank accounts, and lines of credit. You will then need to open lines of credit under your own name. You might consider moving to new institutions to avoid confusion. If your spouse is resistant to this, try to do it on your own by consulting the account rules in the contract you signed when opening the account. You can also ask your bank to help.

Remember to also remove your spouse’s name as an authorized user from your personal accounts.

If you must retain a shared account because of costs related to children, try to limit it to one. Make sure to monitor the activity on the car by requesting balances and records of the most recent transactions. You can do this from an ATM, bank branch, or online.

Document Your Money — All of It

Try to locate every single marital financial resource, including:

  • All accounts and assets held jointly and individually. Record the balance, date, account number, authorized users, and contact information for each bank or creditor.
  • Incomes, property, retirement plans and all other assets owned jointly and individually. This should include vehicles, homes, jewelry, furniture, brokerage accounts, and insurance policies.

Make sure you keep everything in one place. Regardless of if you work with a lawyer or not, the court will need statements and documents pertaining to all accounts, assets, bills and debts. Organize everything in a file cabinet. Include:

  • 401(k) statements
  • Insurance policies
  • Real estate purchases
  • Mortgages and refinances
  • House appraisals
  • Brokerage accounts
  • Money market accounts
  • Tax returns

Work with a Divorce Financial Analyst

You might consider working with a divorce financial analyst that can help with your settlement by:

  • Locating assets. This also includes hidden assets.
  • Ensuring information about family finances is accurate and complete.
  • Developing a long-term forecast of how your divorce will affect your finances when it comes to retirement needs, tax liabilities, and benefits.
  • Developing a realistic household budget so that you know where you stand in terms of life insurance, health insurance, and cost-of-living increases.
  • Appraising and/or valuing assets.
  • Preparing financial affidavits that describe your financial and tax implications when it comes to various divorce settlement options.
  • Mediating a financial agreement between you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

Get Your Name on the Deed

Regardless of if you are getting divorced or not, make sure your name is on titles and deeds of property you own together. This is important for all spouses, and can become an issue in cases of a spouse passing away.

This property is considered marital property in the state of California, and will need to be divided should you divorce your spouse.

When it comes to dividing assets during a divorce there are various concerns you will need to deal with when it comes to dividing the marital property.

What State do you Live in?

Keep a Journal in Your Personal Injury Case

State laws govern how the marital property will be divided. You will need to do your research and check with an attorney to see if you live in an equitable distribution state or a community property state.

Other Considerations

There are four other steps that need to be considered when diving marital property:

  1. Identify the assets owned by you and your spouse
  2. Categorize all assets as marital or non-marital property
  3. A value will need to be assigned to the assets
  4. Devise a plan for the division of assets that is in accordance with state laws

No Fault Divorce Laws

Though most states separate the division of marital property from grounds for divorce due to no fault divorce laws, most states do consider any financial misconduct when it comes to dividing marital property. What this means is if you or your spouse has foolishly spent money then you or your spouse will most likely be penalized when it comes to dividing marital property.

Separate Join Financial Obligations

If you feel the division of marital assets might be a contentious point between you are your spouse, you might want to consider separating financial obligations prior to starting the divorce process. Marital property does not only mean furniture and household items, but also joint credit accounts. Each spouse should have access to a complete set of all financial documents. You’ll also want to close all joint credit card accounts. If you’re not able to fully separate the accounts, draft a formal written agreement outlining the activity on the remaining joint accounts. Freeze any investment assets – this will ensure neither spouse misuses funds until everything has been agreed upon. You might also want to consider changing the title on your home to read “tenants in common” until the final agreement regarding marital property has been decided upon.

Change Beneficiaries & Rewrite Your Will

After your divorce you will need to change the beneficiary on your assets, including  insurance or stocks, bank accounts or retirement accounts. You’ll also want to update your will too if it lists your spouse’s name.

Have a Financial Plan

You’ll need to know how to budget according to your new income amount. Putting this together before entering the divorce process will help you understand your needs following the divorce so you can come to a settlement that works.

Make sure you plan for college tuition, child care, children’s lessons, sports and activities, and your own retirement, taxes, transportation and housing.

Financial Future

Considering your financial situation after your divorce can feel daunting and overwhelming, but if you take the right steps, you can be sure to set yourself up for financial freedom. It might take some tweaks, but consider the fact that you are now completely in charge and able to make your own decisions regarding how your money will be spent. Embrace it, and embrace the freedom you now have.

A Family Law Attorney

When it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Child Custody Child Support Child Visitation Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce Mediation

Chris Martin Talks About Divorce

It’s been almost two years since Coldplay frontman Chris Martin and Gwenyth Paltrow announced that they would be “consciously uncoupling.” While Gwenyth may have previously discussed the couple’s divorce, Chris has only recently opened up about it.

Chris Martin Talks About Divorce

As Martin, 39, recently told the Sunday Times, he struggled with depression following the divorce announcement. It’s depression he deals with now. “I still wake up down a lot of days,” he said. “But now I feel like I’ve been given the tools to turn it around.”

“It’s always out there in the media, but I have a very wonderful separation-divorce. It’s a divorce but it’s a weird one,” he said. “It’s funny. I don’t think about that word very often — divorce. I don’t see it that way. I see it more like you meet someone, you have some time together and things just move through … I’ve lived a lot of life since then.”

“You can come at it very aggressively and blame and blame,” he told the paper. “Or you can put yourself in the garage, so to speak. Take yourself apart and clean off the bits. Reassemble.”

One key thing that Martin and Paltrow have kept in mind is their two children – Apple, 11, and Moses, 9. In being able to put their children first, they have been able to remain amicable. This is often the hardest part of divorce – learning how to co-parent.

Learning to Co-Parent

The key to establishing a good co-parenting relationship is to remember that your kids are part you and part your ex-spouse. And hopefully this realization will help you manage those angry, frustrated, and sad emotions.

Managing Emotions

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“The biggest obstacles to successful co-parenting are emotions,” says Alisa Peskin-Shepherd, principal of Transitions Legal, a family law practice that specializes in mediative divorce. “Emotional obstacles are usually anger, resentment and jealousy. Often parents have a hard time separating those feelings toward their former spouse from their attempt to focus on their children.”

The idea of focusing on your children might seem obvious, but that can be really difficult when you receive that text from your ex that makes you want to throw your phone directly into their face. There are some tips that can help though! Here are some tips from parents who have actually found the magic combination to a successful (meaning they don’t completely resent each other) co-parenting situation.

Building a Successful Co-Parenting Situation

Give Yourself a  ‘Timeout’

“Take time to reflect on how your behavior and your decisions are affecting your child,” says Peskin-Shepherd. “Especially where there is constant disagreement, try to accept that you are not going to change the other person and find a way to make something work without being dependent on the other parent’s response.”

If you are not able to give yourself a timeout, and find that you are still stewing about conversing with your ex, consult a “co-parenting coordinator,” attorney or counselor – with or without your ex-spouse. This objective third party can be a great sounding board for ironing out your co-parenting relationship.

“Our expectations that two people who didn’t get along when they are married will suddenly be able to co-parent without some help is not reasonable,” Peskin-Shepherd says.

According to Alison Willet, a Birmingham resident and psychologist who has worked with high-conflict divorce, it is crucial for ex-spouses to heal fully from the pain that stems from their divorce if they plan to find a way to co-parent effectively.

The mother of three daughters and two step-daughters goes on to say, “People going through divorce need to take the necessary time to grieve the end of this major relationship and remember that at one time, they loved or cared about the other parent. When parents are psychologically intact, it will be easier for them to put the needs of their children first.”

Play to Your Ex’s Strengths (This Might Be Very Difficult)

By now you know what your ex is good and and what they’re not so good at. So play fair when it comes to your kids and your ex’s abilities.

“You probably know your ex-spouse better than anyone else,” says Chris Tucker, father of Finn, 9, and Simon, 7, and step-dad to Lucas, 6. “Play to those strengths – not in a manipulative way, but in a spirit of making the best use of one another’s talents.”

Tucker’s situation is: he has his boys two-thirds of the year; their mother visits monthly from Virginia. She also takes them over school breaks and summer. Tucker, his wife, his ex-wife, and her husband all work as a unit to parent the children.

“We like to think of ourselves – Colleen, her husband, my wife and I – as members of a family ecosystem,” says Tucker. “This means that everyone involved is invested in and accountable for raising our kids, and it goes a long way in building trust and mutual respect.”

Commit to Cooperating

This can be the hardest part of a co-parenting relationship – cooperating.

According to mother Shaindle Braunstein-Cohen, “Effective co-parenting does not require friendship, but it does require cooperation.”

“My ex and I get along when we have contact, but we never have contact outside of our son,” she says. “When my son wanted to show his dad his new room in our new home, he did. Successful co-parenting involves only one thing: loving your child more than you hate your ex.”

When her ex moved out-of-state, Braunstein-Cohen gained full custody of her 14-year-old Seth.  When he wants to see his dad or vice versa, both her and Seth’s father to make it happen. “Sure, that meant I had many holidays without him, but it wasn’t about me,” she says.

You can’t keep living in the past either.

“The kids can become an obsession, a club to beat your ex over the head with,” says Braunstein-Cohen. “You can’t live in the past, and you also can’t live in the future. Just live in the now. The moment is here; it’s what you’ve got. Make the best of it.”

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Get it in Writing

Peskin-Shepherd advises parents to put everything in writing. That means that all plans and agreements should be kindly communicated to the other parent. This should be part of your working situation. If it’s in writing, it is harder for one person to argue about the agreed arrangement. This should be done for even the smallest things if you know that there is potential for arguments later down the road. This is especially necessary for vacation time and scheduling, agreements regarding financial decisions, and paying for child’s needs. A majority of these things will be part of your child custody agreement, but anything that comes up out side of that should also be agreed to in writing.

Vacation time and money issues are common post-divorce problems, says Peskin-Shepherd. “Parents can agree on how to pay for extracurricular activities, summer camps, boots and winter coats,” she says. “Have a mindset of cooperation to avoid problems. Likely the compromise your ex-spouse is asking of you today will be the one you need tomorrow.”

Set High Intentions

Keely Henry dealt with an ugly divorce. She did not want it to affect her son, Sullivan, 8. “I knew I could not let this ugly experience lead our lives,” she says. “I was going to have to communicate with my ex over the course of our son’s life. The only thing to do was set the ideal on a higher notion, above emotional distress.”

Because of that, Henry and her ex decided to celebrate holidays and birthdays with Sully together, which means including Henry’s new life partner and her ex’s partner, the woman that her husband left her for. “We all collaborate on my son’s parenting, with his dad and I as the final sayers,” she says. “It really is simple. Set the goal for the higher, not the lower.”

Let Go of Wanting Control

Even thirteen years after their divorce, Jodi Rubin and her ex-husband disagree about the same things they did not agree about when they were married. But they’ve been able to reach a place of mutual respect that allows them to co-parent their three children, Jordan, 19, Paige, 15, and Ethan, 13.

“It’s not about you,” says Rubin. “Instead of worrying about each other, worry about the kids. It’s a parent’s job to turn their children into productive and emotionally healthy adults, and you can’t do that if you’re focused on each other.”

Silence your Support System

Your friends and family will want to defend you, but there’s nothing helpful about your mother sending your ex a nasty email. The support system should remain impartial, and if they’re not, you need to intervene.

“There were times I had to check my mom as she ranted and raved about what went down,” Henry says. “Or girlfriends – awesome friends who had not been married or had children – not understanding how I could handle some of the things the way I did. There were moments I could hardly do anything but scream and cry – and I did, but on my own watch. There will be tough times. You can get something positive from them.”

Keep Your Ego in Check

It goes without saying that you’re going to doubt your parenting ability and fear that your children will want to be with the other parent. But you have to resist the urge.

“It’s easy to see your ex-spouse as a threat,” says Tucker. “Remind yourself that your ex is also your children’s parent and would also step in front of a bus for them. Trust that they also have your children’s best interests at heart.”

Says Braunstein-Cohen, “Be totally honest with yourself. Everyone has ego involved; they want their child to know they were not at fault, that they are a better parent. Let it go and really think about what makes your kids happy.

“Obviously you don’t agree or sometimes even like each other very much – that’s why you got divorced,” she adds. “Get over it.”

A Family Law Attorney

But when it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law

New Year, New Divorce?

For some couples the holidays can be even more stressful – they can also mean a divorce in the new year. As we round out 2015 and look towards 2016, you might be considering a divorce for your new year. Below we discuss why January has been nick-named “Divorce Month,” as well as what to do if your new year means “new divorce.”

New Year, New Divorce?

According to James McLaren, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, divorce attorneys “see a significant increase in people seeking out divorce advice and, ultimately, filing. The number of filings is one-third more than normal. That begins in January and probably goes into early March.”

What is it about the new year that drives people to divorce? A lot of times, that divorce has been a long time coming, and not just the result of stressful holidays.

If you are considering divorce, you know it’s not a consideration taken lightly. Chances are you’ve been dealing with these emotions for a while now. Know that you are not alone. There are many reasons that people divorce. Here are a few of them:

Lack of communication. When you are unable to communicate with your partner, you create distance. This can be from lack of sharing feelings, or not keeping your partner in the loop about what’s happening with you emotionally. A successful relationship is one that has open lines of communication. Otherwise it can feel like nothing is ever resolved, and as if you aren’t even talking about why things can’t be resolved. Additionally, chances are you both feel as if something is being left unsaid. These feelings can multiply over time and become much larger than they were at the beginning. You might consider working with a relationship therapist to learn how to communicate effectively.

Financial Issues. Money, and lack of it, can lead to a lot of problems in relationships. Often times two people have very different mindsets when it comes to saving and spending. If you and your spouse are not in agreement when it comes to how to manage your money, it can cause a lot of problems. Sit down and have an open conversation about how you relate to money and what your goals are. You might find one spouse wants to save to buy a house or to go on a big vacation, while the other spouse would rather go out to dinner every night of the week and have a closet filled with amazing clothes. You might have different goals, and neither one is wrong. Try to find a middle ground. You might also want to speak with a financial adviser that can take a look at your financial situation and advise you on how to move forward based on your joint goals.

Feeling Held Back. When you first started dating your spouse you may have felt as if the sky was the limit, or maybe you felt like you needed to change yourself a little for him or her. Over the course of a marriage things can change. You might feel now as if your spouse and marriage are holding you back from achieving goals and taking opportunities. If you don’t feel supported by your spouse you can begin to feel as if you are being held back from really accomplishing what you want to during your lifetime. Try to get a clear-headed assessment. Are you really being held back? Or maybe it’s just how you are perceiving the situation. An open conversation might be the best place to start.

Trust. Trust is one of the leading factors in having a successful relationship and marriage. It can be impossible to achieve anything if you do not trust each other. Ask yourself if there’s a reason for the lack of trust. Was there an infidelity or past infidelities? Or are you just reading into things? Try to get a clear head about why there is not trust in your relationship. Maybe working with a relationship therapist can help you both deal with any trust issues.

Expectations. If you expected one thing at the beginning of the relationship and you aren’t getting it now, or your expectations have changed, you might find that you aren’t as happy in your relationship as you could be.

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Your spouse doesn’t understand or fulfill your needs and desires. We all have different needs and wants that need to be met by the significant other in our lives. If you have a partner that doesn’t acknowledge your interests and desires then they won’t do what they can to fulfill your needs and wants.

Sudden Life Change. New changes happen at every moment in our lives. This can be the birth of a child, death of a parent, sudden job loss, a new opportunity for a job across the country. You will both need to be adaptable and know how to be supportive of each other. Life is unplanned, but you should be able to plan that your spouse will be there to support you whether its a good change or a difficult one.

Domestic Violence If you’ve been in a situation, or are currently in a situation, where your partner has been abusive or controlling in any manner, you should consider seeking help. If need be, contact a trusted family, friend, or an attorney about this matter.

So, why January?

While there are numerous reasons for divorce, that still doesn’t explain why January is such a peak month.

What does explain it are the holidays, and what the holiday season can mean. Often couples just want to “get through the holidays.”

According to McLaren, “It doesn’t look very good to sue your spouse for divorce on Christmas Eve.” Additionally, courts are not necessarily open during the holiday season like they are during the rest of the year. “You do not want to file a divorce case and be faced with the inability to get into court.”

Other couples decide to wait till January so that kids are able to spend one more holiday season all together. In some ways, couples view it as “the last Christmas.”

And according to Abby Rodman, a psychotherapist based in Boston, there really is no perfect time to get divorced. “Most marriages aren’t all bad, all the time,” she says.

Legal Separation

While divorce might seem like the only option, remember that legal separation is also available. Legal separation allows couples to live apart and take a “break” from each other, while also ensuring that each spouse’s legal rights are protected via a legal separation agreement. Legal separations can also be called: “judicial separation”, “separate maintenance”, “divorce a mensa et thoro“, or “divorce from bed-and-board.” All these terms refer to the legal process by which a married couple formalizes a de facto separation while remaining legally married.

Steps to Follow for Legal Separation

Here are the steps you will take to acquire a legal separation:

  • Consider working with a family law attorney that can advise you on all the necessary steps of your legal separation.
  • You and your spouse will need to decide on grounds for the separation
  • Fill out a Form FL-100 Petition. This form includes options for divorce (dissolution of marriage) or legal separation.
  • If you have children under 18, you will need to complete Form FL-105/GC-120 which provides information to the court regarding children.
  • File Form FL-100 at your local county court. Pay any necessary fees. If you receive public benefits or have low income, you might be eligible for a fee waiver.
  • Serve your spouse with a copy of the court papers if they were not filed together. There will need to be proof of the serving, which can be done through various means such as a process server. A family law attorney can advise you on how to obtain this proof.

Sign a Formal Legal Separation Agreement

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It’s always advised that you sign a formal legal separation agreement. This agreement outlines child support and visitation, property division, and any other aspect of a marriage.  An attorney will be able to prepare this legal and binding document. This will offer you legal protection should your spouse fail to live up to his or her obligations and will also also hold up in court.

The following should be included in the legal separation agreement:

Spousal Support

Benefits – With legal separation spouses are able to retain certain benefits that were available during the marriage, such as health insurance.

Home Residency – If a couple shares a home, it should be decided at this time what will happen to the residency during the separation. The agreement should include information regarding who is able to live in the home, who is responsible for maintaining the home, and who is financially handling the home.

Joint Accounts – A legal separation agreement outlines who has access to those joint accounts such as joint checking, savings, and credit accounts. It’s often advised to close or freeze these accounts during the separation. Each spouse will then need to obtain their own personal accounts.

Protection from Acquired Debt – A legal separation agreement will shield you from being responsible for debt acquired during the time of the legal separation.

Deciding on Divorce

If following your legal separation, or if you just decide after the holidays that you want to divorce, it’s always advised that you consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

 

Categories
Child Custody Child Support Child Visitation Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce Marital Property Division Mediation Spousal Support

Divorce and Your Bank Account

No one has ever said that divorce is a cheap process. For the most part, if you and your spouse are unable to come to a decision on things, divorce can be an expensive process with an expensive aftermath.

To Consider Before You Divorce

If you are unhappy and unable to continue your marriage, then divorce might be the best option for you. There are some financial considerations you will need to make. Here’s a little of what you can expect:

  • Living as a single person costs more. This can be increasingly true for couples that share children.
  • Your standard of living might drop because of increased living costs that are no longer being shared.

But there are ways to minimize the financial damage. You’ll want to review these steps if divorce is in your future.

Minimize Financial Pain During Divorce

Work with a Lawyer

Negotiation versus Litigation in a Slip and Fall Case

Even if you have decided that you don’t want to work with an attorney, at least consult one so that you are aware of your rights and options. You need to protect yourself. Even the most amicable of divorces can get sticky when it comes to ironing out the legal ramifications and you’ll want to do the best you can when it comes to protecting yourself. Remember that bitterness can cause people to do things they wouldn’t normally. Most lawyers offer a free first consultation.

Look at Your Credit Reports

You are able to pull free credit reports three times a year. These reports show all of the credit accounts that exist in your name, in addition to those you share with others. You’ll want to look for new accounts opened in your name and any changes that are unexpected. Your credit score can be damaged by a spouse that fails to pay joint bills.

Close and Monitor Your Joint Accounts

A lot of times divorcing spouses will move money from joint accounts to individual accounts so that the other spouse is unable to recover the cash. A lot of times this leads to large amounts of debt on joint credit cards, for which the innocent spouse is also responsible for.

The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau says:

When you have a joint account, each account holder is responsible for the full amount of the balance. The card issuer can seek to collect the amount due from either account holder.

Because of this, it’s advised that you close or freeze your shared financial accounts, including credit cards, joint bank accounts, and lines of credit. You will then need to open lines of credit under your own name. You might consider moving to new institutions to avoid confusion. If your spouse is resistant to this, try to do it on your own by consulting the account rules in the contract you signed when opening the account. You can also ask your bank to help.

Remember to also remove your spouse’s name as an authorized user from your personal accounts.

If you must retain a shared account because of costs related to children, try to limit it to one. Make sure to monitor the activity on the car by requesting balances and records of the most recent transactions. You can do this from an ATM, bank branch, or online.

Document Your Money — All of It

Try to locate every single marital financial resource, including:

  • All accounts and assets held jointly and individually. Record the balance, date, account number, authorized users, and contact information for each bank or creditor.
  • Incomes, property, retirement plans and all other assets owned jointly and individually. This should include vehicles, homes, jewelry, furniture, brokerage accounts, and insurance policies.

Make sure you keep everything in one place. Regardless of if you work with a lawyer or not, the court will need statements and documents pertaining to all accounts, assets, bills and debts. Organize everything in a file cabinet. Include:

  • 401(k) statements
  • Insurance policies
  • Real estate purchases
  • Mortgages and refinances
  • House appraisals
  • Brokerage accounts
  • Money market accounts
  • Tax returns

Work with a Divorce Financial Analyst

You might consider working with a divorce financial analyst that can help with your settlement by:

  • Locating assets. This also includes hidden assets.
  • Ensuring information about family finances is accurate and complete.
  • Developing a long-term forecast of how your divorce will affect your finances when it comes to retirement needs, tax liabilities, and benefits.
  • Developing a realistic household budget so that you know where you stand in terms of life insurance, health insurance, and cost-of-living increases.
  • Appraising and/or valuing assets.
  • Preparing financial affidavits that describe your financial and tax implications when it comes to various divorce settlement options.
  • Mediating a financial agreement between you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

Get Your Name on the Deed

Regardless of if you are getting divorced or not, make sure your name is on titles and deeds of property you own together. This is important for all spouses, and can become an issue in cases of a spouse passing away.

This property is considered marital property in the state of California, and will need to be divided should you divorce your spouse.

When it comes to dividing assets during a divorce there are various concerns you will need to deal with when it comes to dividing the marital property.

What State do you Live in?

Keep a Journal in Your Personal Injury Case

State laws govern how the marital property will be divided. You will need to do your research and check with an attorney to see if you live in an equitable distribution state or a community property state.

Other Considerations

There are four other steps that need to be considered when diving marital property:

  1. Identify the assets owned by you and your spouse
  2. Categorize all assets as marital or non-marital property
  3. A value will need to be assigned to the assets
  4. Devise a plan for the division of assets that is in accordance with state laws

No Fault Divorce Laws

Though most states separate the division of marital property from grounds for divorce due to no fault divorce laws, most states do consider any financial misconduct when it comes to dividing marital property. What this means is if you or your spouse has foolishly spent money then you or your spouse will most likely be penalized when it comes to dividing marital property.

Separate Join Financial Obligations

If you feel the division of marital assets might be a contentious point between you are your spouse, you might want to consider separating financial obligations prior to starting the divorce process. Marital property does not only mean furniture and household items, but also joint credit accounts. Each spouse should have access to a complete set of all financial documents. You’ll also want to close all joint credit card accounts. If you’re not able to fully separate the accounts, draft a formal written agreement outlining the activity on the remaining joint accounts. Freeze any investment assets – this will ensure neither spouse misuses funds until everything has been agreed upon. You might also want to consider changing the title on your home to read “tenants in common” until the final agreement regarding marital property has been decided upon.

Change Beneficiaries & Rewrite Your Will

After your divorce you will need to change the beneficiary on your assets, including  insurance or stocks, bank accounts or retirement accounts. You’ll also want to update your will too if it lists your spouse’s name.

Have a Financial Plan

You’ll need to know how to budget according to your new income amount. Putting this together before entering the divorce process will help you understand your needs following the divorce so you can come to a settlement that works.

Make sure you plan for college tuition, child care, children’s lessons, sports and activities, and your own retirement, taxes, transportation and housing.

Financial Future

Considering your financial situation after your divorce can feel daunting and overwhelming, but if you take the right steps, you can be sure to set yourself up for financial freedom. It might take some tweaks, but consider the fact that you are now completely in charge and able to make your own decisions regarding how your money will be spent. Embrace it, and embrace the freedom you now have.

A Family Law Attorney

When it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Child Custody Child Support Child Visitation Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce Marital Property Division Mediation Spousal Support

Stefani-Rossdale Divorce

Gwen Stefani is citing “irreconcilable differences” as her reason for divorcing husband Gavin Rossdale.

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“While the two of us have come to the mutual decision that we will no longer be partners in marriage, we remain partners in parenthood and are committed to jointly raising our three sons in a happy and healthy environment,” the couple said in a joint statement. “To that end, we respectfully request privacy from the media during this time.”

After touring together, Stefani, 45, and Rossdale, 49, were married in 2002. The No Doubt lead singer and Bush front-man have been rock royalty ever since the late 90’s.

According to the tabloids, the two have spent some time apart recently. Stefani recently posted pics to her Instagram showing her and her sons on a mini getaway in Montana. It was unclear if Rossdale joined the family for the vacation, as his Instagram suggested he was in London. But even just last year Rossdale took on tabloids that reported that the couple was headed for divorce, denouncing the rumors as a “load of bulls–t.”

“I’m pretty dry and I’ve got a decent sense of humor, so [reporters] say to me, ‘You’re doing this, you’ve got a new record…’How do you guys find time for each other?'” he said while appearing on The Howard Stern Show. “And I said, ‘We don’t, that’s why we’ve been together so long.’ I was f–king around, that’s funny to me. Where I’m from, that’s funny. And it was funny, for about a week, and then it’s like, ‘oh…interesting.’ So it’s just me and my big mouth.”

And just a few months ago in Cosmopolitan‘s March issue, Stefani said “I never really saw myself landing a guy that hot. I don’t know if I was a nerd in high school, but I definitely wasn’t the super-cute cheerleader so I never saw myself getting somebody like that.”

When speaking of her marriage and what made it work, she said  “We go through so much together—it’s a miracle that we could stay together this long.”

She went on to say, “[Gavin’s] on a short tour right now, and he wrote me the sweetest note this morning. It’s good to have those days when we both do our own things. I think that’s what keeps relationships going, when both people can be themselves and have their own individuality.

“That’s especially important for women,” she added. “It’s hard to find time for yourself.”

Stefani cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split in her divorce filing. Rossdale filed his response at the same time.

Irreconcilable Differences

Irreconcilable differences means you and your spouse are not able to agree on basic, fundamental issues involving the marriage or your family, and you never will agree. While there is no set rule, the following are reasons for why a couple might decide to file:

  • Conflict of personalities
  • Emotional needs are not being met
  • The marriage is suffering from financial difficulties
  • Long physical separation
  • Difference in interests
  • Resentment
  • Distrust
  • Constant bickering
  • Irreversible antagonistic feelings

If you are experiencing any of these feelings and are unable to work things out with your spouse, you may consider divorce. Working with a lawyer is the first step to determining how you should file for divorce. California is a no-fault state, which means that you cannot blame your spouse for the end of the marriage, even if it is ending because of infidelity. You will want to work with a lawyer to determine your state-specific laws, though most states have “no-fault” options, such as irreconcilable difference.

Joint Custody

The couple shares three sons: 9-year-old Kingston, 6-year-old Zuma and 1-year-old Apollo. According to court documents, both Stefani and Rossdale have sought joint custody.

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There are various situations that fall under the umbrella of “joint child custody.”

What is “Joint Child Custody”?

“Joint Child Custody” means that parents who do not live together still share decision-making responsibilities for, and/or physical control and custody of, the children they have together. This form of custody is able to be awarded to parents that are divorced, separated, no longer living together, and even if they have never lived together. Joint child custody is also the form of custody that is favored by the courts.

Joint Child Custody Arrangements

Joint Child Custody can take various forms, such as:

joint legal custody – where the parents share the decision-making responsibilities.

joint physical custody – where children spend time with each parent separately.

joint legal and physical custody – a combination of the above.

Joint Child Custody – Advantages and Disadvantages

There are advantages and disadvantages to joint child custody. While it ensures children continue contact with both parents, children still need to be shuttled from one parent to the other. This can be a difficult situation for non-cooperative parents, and thus can be a hard situation for children stuck in the middle. Regardless of if parents are cooperative or non-cooperative, it’s crucial that all financial records of groceries, finances associated with a child’s after school activities, medical care, and clothing are kept. In cases where parents argue about these things, a judge will appreciate finely detailed records. If parents can maintain a positive parenting schedule and approach, and keep the child’s best interests in mind, joint custody can be a positive and comforting experience for a child.

Spousal Support

According to court documents, Stefani checked the box to terminate Rossdale’s ability for spousal support.

If you are getting divorced, and are seeking spousal support, or are expected to pay spousal support payments, there are some important things you’ll want to understand. A family law attorney will be able to walk you through the specifics of your case, but here we’ll provide you with a general overview of aspects of spousal support including: the awarding of spousal support, tax laws, and what can happen if spousal support payments are not made.

Defining Spousal Support

Spousal support (also known as alimony) is financial assistance that is only available to those who were legally married. It recognizes a partner’s contribution to the marriage and its goal is to help the recipient achieve financial independence. Rules regarding alimony vary state by state.

Calculating Spousal Support

When a court presides over a spousal support hearing, it weighs a number of factors including: the length of the marriage, the needs of each spouse, the standard of living that was created and maintained during the marriage, any assets, the age of the spouses, numerous other factors, and state specific laws. Your divorce attorney will build your case for spousal support based on your own specific circumstances.

Length of Spousal Support

The duration of spousal support payments is set by the court after it weighs the arguments that have been made. Typically, the length of payments lasts for half the length of a less than 10 years long marriage. For example: a marriage of six years means the spousal support payments will need to be paid for three years.

In longer marriages, a court might not set an a duration for the alimony payments. In that case, it is up to your divorce attorney to prove your side of the case and the duration. You should work with your divorce attorney to establish your side, regardless of if you are paying or receiving payments, and also determine the amount of time you seek. The court will then listen to both arguments, and using common law, decide upon the duration.

Permanent or Lifetime Spousal Support

“Permanent” or “Lifetime” spousal support means support will be paid to the recipient until the death of the one paying, or sometimes until the recipient remarries. While remarriage has been a reason for the end of spousal support payments, that is not always the case, and sometimes a court will rule that a remarriage does not mean the end of the support payments.

As women became a stronger component of the workforce, permanent support began to be rewarded less and less. And now courts rarely award permanent support. One appellate court stated:

“As recognized by our Supreme Court, the public policy of this state has progressed from one which entitled some women to lifelong alimony as a condition of the marital contract of support, to one that entitles either spouse to post-dissolution support for only so long as is necessary to become self-supporting.”

A court will usually require the higher earner, regardless of if they are husband or wife, to assist the lower earner with maintaining the standard of living, at least for a period of time.

Changes in Financial Situation

The duration of spousal support payments can also be dependent on if the spouse receiving the support has a change in their financial standing (as the result of beginning a new job or higher pay). The purpose of spousal support is to ensure financial safeguards for the person receiving them. Therefore, if they no longer need to receive money to help them maintain financial footing, then a court can rule that they are able to support themselves and no longer need the support they have been receiving.

A Family Law Attorney

When it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney. There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce

Divorce Finalized for Kardashian

Almost two years after filing, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have officially signed papers to finalize their divorce.

Bittersweet Divorce

In a recent interview with Complex magazine, Kardashian, 31, expressed that Odom, 35,  is “going to always be that person,” a sentiment shared by others that have been through the same experience of divorce. It’s not always easy moving on after divorce, and each person has their own unique experience.

couple getting divorced

The divorce between the reality TV star and the former professional basketball player has been in the tabloids for years now. While it seemed as if the two were leading a charmed life in front of the cameras on their hit TV show, Khloe and Lamar, the relationship crumbled when the basketball player relapsed into his substance abuse problem.

Kardahsian filed for divorce on September 13, 2013, but the divorce was not finalized til July 21 of this year.

In Life&Style magazine’s September issue it was  reported that the couple had received notice from The Superior Court of California County “alerting both Lamar and Khloe that their divorce is not complete — and once again, she didn’t respond.”

As of April of this year, it was still unclear what was happening between the two. It seemed as if Odom could not be located and Kardashian had still not moved to get a default divorce judgement, despite the fact that she was able to.

A default divorce judgement can be granted if the respondent does not file his or her response within 30 days of receiving the divorce petition. The petitioner can obtain a “default” divorce by filing court forms for judgment, child custody, child support, spousal support, and property division. No trial is necessary.

Still it seems that Kardashian did not want to move forward.

Khloe Opens Up

Kardashian sat down with Complex magazine for their 2015 August/September issue to not only show off her well-trained body in an exercise-themed photoshoot, but also to speak to what has been happening between her and Lamar.

“I talk to Lamar as often as I can, which is inconsistent, but not on my terms,” she said. “When you genuinely feel like that was the right relationship, you’re supposed to give it all you can. That’s what marriage is about. It’s not, ‘Let’s see if it works, if not we always have divorce.’ I am not one of those girls. You took a vow before God and you’re supposed to abide by that.”

While divorce papers were finally signed on July 21 of this year,  Kardashian said she hadn’t been “rushing” the divorce because she wasn’t “looking to get married tomorrow.”

“Lamar is genuinely one of the best people I’ve ever met, and everyone says that when they meet him. I think Lamar’s going to always be that person [for me] but that’s what made it so special,” she said. “Even if I had it for five years or whatever, it was the best ever and I’m grateful I did. Some people don’t get that ever and I had that magic for a long time.”

She misses Odom “every day,” she went on to say.

“I miss what we had – things we got to do together are just memories. I like looking back and holding on to that stuff,” she said. “I definitely miss it, and there’s times I’ll get so sentimental and so sad, but this had to happen for some reason. I’ll figure it out over time, someone will give me that answer eventually.”

Moving On

Moving forward after divorce means that every day you will need to actively work to progress and improve . As Professor Harold Hill once said: “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.” It’s time to take your life back into your own hands.

Big changes can be accomplished with small steps, like these:

  • Wake up
  • Get in the zone
  • Get moving
  • Eat well
  • Get inspired
  • Gain some perspective
  • Do something that will propel you forward

Get Some Sleep and Wake Up in the AM

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According to the National Sleep Foundation (NSF) 40 million Americans suffer from over 70 different sleep disorders. Additionally, 60 percent of adults and 69 percent of children have one or more sleep problems at least a few nights during a week.

Getting the right amount of sleep can help you have a longer life, increased creativity, memory, attention, and focus. It can help to lower stress and your risk for depression.

Bottom line: you need your beauty sleep.

Find Clarity 

Focus on the positive things in your life. What you set your focus on expands. After waking up from a restful night’s sleep, prayer and meditation can help orient you toward the positive.

Focus on what you are grateful for: being out of a marriage that did not serve you. There are limitless opportunities and possibilities for you every day, so start the morning off by getting yourself into a space of gratitude and clarity.

Physical Activity

By now we all know we need exercise. Still, according to the Center for Disease Control’s National Health Interview Survey, only one-third of American men and women between the ages of 25 to 64 engage in regular physical activity.

Regular exercise has shown to decrease your chance of depression, anxiety, and stress. It’s also been linked to higher success in people’s careers. Any form of exercise works: the gym, yard work, cleaning. Just get your body moving and every aspect of your life will thrive.

Get Enough Protein

Eating protein first thing decreases cravings for white carbohydrates, which have been proven to make you fat. Donald Layman, professor emeritus of nutrition at the University of Illinois, recommends eating or drinking at least 30 grams of protein for breakfast. Protein-rich food can help you feel fuller for longer because it takes longer for the body to digest. Protein has also been shown to keep blood-sugar levels steady while also preventing hunger spikes.  In The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss, he recommends getting 30 grams of protein within 30 minutes after waking up.

According to Ferriss, eat at least 40% of your breakfast calories as protein: two to three whole eggs, turkey bacon, organic pork bacon or sausage, or cottage cheese. You can also do a protein shake made with water. If you follow a vegetarian or vegan diet you can eat legumes, greens, nuts, and seeds.

Cold Water Immersion

showerCold water immersion has been shown to radically facilitate physical and mental wellness with regular practice. It not only changes your body’s immune, lymphatic, circulatory and digestive systems, but it can also increase weight-loss because it boosts your metabolism.

A study done in 2007 found that cold water triggers mood-boosting neurochemicals that make people feel happier. The study concluded that  because of this, taking cold showers routinely can help treat depression symptoms. Often, cold showers are more effective than prescription medications.

Sure, none of us wants to step into a cold shower, but try to think of it like getting into a swimming pool. The first 20 seconds feels terrible, but once you’ve done it, it’s fine.

Those who do this report feeling an increase in willpower, creativity, motivation, and inspiration.

Uplifting Content

Seek uplifting content in the form of books. You don’t even have to read – you can listen to an audiobook. Even 15-30 minutes a morning of uplifting and instructive information can change you. Just think about how much that will amount to over time. And just consider the amount of knowledge and life-perspective  you will have gained.

Get a Life Vision

Write down your short and long term goals. Reviewing them a few minutes a day can put your day into perspective. Chances are some things have changed after your divorce. Take some time to re-focus your energy on what you really want to accomplish.

Reading your long term goals every day will make sure you think about them every day. As you spend your days working towards your goals, they’ll manifest.

There’s a science to achieving goals, which removes the confusion and ambiguity of them. If you stick to a pattern, you can accomplish your goals, regardless of if they are large or small.

Write them down and review them every single day.

Take a Step Forward

Do the important things first. As you work through the day you’ll find your ability to make high quality decisions becomes fatigued. So if you don’t do the important things first, they simply will not get done. That means if you have to contact your ex-spouse for any reason – to discuss an issue with your children, or to ask if they can switch a day of child care next week, get it done first.

When it comes to personal things, the same is true. There will always be a million reasons to put something off til tomorrow. And tomorrow means never.

Consider this mantra: The worst comes first. Do what you’ve been needing to do first. And then do it again the next day.

Every day you need to take a step towards your goals. With every new step, you’ll realize that your goals aren’t that far away.

Moving Forward

A divorce can shatter your life if you let it. So don’t let it.

Every day you can move forward with these steps. Put a plan in place to succeed. Every step on that plan brings you closer to your dreams. Maybe that means finally having a day where you don’t feel guilty or sad about your divorce. Maybe it’s a day of less resentment. Maybe it’s a day where you focus on getting healthy by preparing a good meal for yourself.

Making small steps every day like the ones outlined above will change your life.

Woring with a Therapist

There are so many emotional things that you will need to work through when you decide to end your marriage. You might want to consider reaching out to a therapist or life-coach to help you through the emotional aspects. They can coach you on coping techniques and skills that will help you come to terms with your divorce.

A Family Law Attorney

But when it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Child Custody Child Support Child Visitation Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce Marital Property Division Mediation

Garner and Affleck Divorce

After months of tabloid speculation, a rep for Hollywood power-couple Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner recently confirmed the couple has decided to divorce. The news comes just a day after their tenth wedding anniversary.

Ben and Jen Divorce Statement

In a statement released by the couple, Affleck, 42, and Garner, 43, had this to say: “After much thought and careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to divorce. We go forward with love and friendship for one another and a commitment to co-parenting our children, whose privacy we ask to be respected during this difficult time. This will be our only comment on this private, family matter.”

Mediation

According to a source close to the couple, Affleck and Garner have been working with a mediator. The source had this to say: “This isn’t going to end up in a dramatic court case, they are trying to resolve it as quickly and easily as possible. Ben and Jennifer have been separated for more than six months. They have been seeing counselors for years. The situation is that people change and they grow apart.”

Mediation, when employed at an early stages of divorce proceedings, has proven to be beneficial for both parties looking to avoid substantial litigation costs and the adversarial nature of a drawn out separation and divorce process. It’s not uncommon for mediation to allow for cases to be settled before they go to actual trial. Because if its more harmonious nature and the fact that costs are usually lower in comparison to drawn out litigious cases, the mediation process is becoming increasingly preferred.

Resolution of conflict between spouses is a delicate process and requires a skilled Divorce and Family Law Mediator to serve as a neutral buffer between the high emotions of a couple on the verge of divorce. The attorneys at the Southern California Law Offices of Divorce Law LA can assist you through the process of deciding whether a divorce settled through mediation and collaborative law is the right choice for you, or if full litigation is required to adequately settle your divorce.

Affleck has been sighted staying in hotels over the past few months. Yet, it seems the couple has decided that he will remain on the property of their Brentwood home, though he will not share the main house. It’s unclear if this is a permanent or temporary arrangement.

Love, Marriage, Children, Divorce

The couple met on the set of “Pearl Harbor” and went on to star alongside each other in the movie “Daredevil,” which was released in 2003. “That’s where I found my wife,” Affleck said in a Playboy magazine interview. “We met on Pearl Harbor, which people hate, but we fell in love on ‘Daredevil.'”

Shortly after, in 2005, they were married. During the wedding during a private ceremony in Turks and Caicos, Garner was four months pregnant with their daughter Violet.  The two share three children: Violet, 9, Seraphina, 6, and Samuel, 3.

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Children Changed the Marriage

Garner has spoken to Yahoo! Parenting about how children changed the couple’s marriage: “You just go on a ride together because you don’t know who you’re going to be when you first have a baby and you don’t know who [your partner] is going to be. You have to just hang in there while you figure it out — and have a lot of patience for each other.”

Children can bring unavoidable and unspeakable changes to a relationship and marriage. while you might have thought a child would fit neatly into your life, that is not seemingly ever the case. Having a new addition that needs you constantly can mean big changes for you and your spouse.

In an interview with InStyle magazine Garner said: “When we had our first [child], we had only been together a year. We were babies. It happened so fast, I hardly remember what we were like before the kids got here.”

During the same interview she went on to say she and Affleck had a “mindful” marriage.

“You can’t expect to be courted all the time, and I don’t want to court him right now; I don’t have the energy!” she said. “But we’re definitely in a very mindful place where we’re making an effort to be together, do things at the same time, and be loving.”

It seems the two were realistic about their marriage. When Affleck accepted his best picture Oscar in 2013 for Argo he thanked his wife for “working on our marriage,” adding “there’s no one I’d rather work with.”

Timing of Divorce – Just After 10th Wedding Anniversary

Though it seems odd that the two would announce their divorce just after their tenth wedding anniversary, this is a fairly common time of year to divorce. While January seems to be the big month for divorce (often times couples try to hold things together through the already stressful holiday season), the summer school break is also quite popular. It often makes the most sense for re-locations (should a spouse decide to move) to happen over the summer in case schools need to be changed.

Child Custody and Visitation

While it’s unclear how Affleck and Garner will handle the custody of their children, it is most likely they will share custody. Courts often tend to award joint custody when they can, as long as its in the best interest of the children.

There are various forms of child custody: physical and legal, sole and joint.

Physical Custody: The parent has the legal right to have a child live with him or her.

Legal Custody: The parent has the legal right and the legal obligation to make decisions about a child’s upbringing.

Sole Custody: The parent has either sole legal custody or sole physical custody of a child, or both. Usually courts only award sole custody if one parent has been deemed unfit due to alcohol or drug dependency or charges of child abuse or neglect.

Joint Custody: Both parents share the decision-making responsibilities for, and/or physical control and custody of, their shared children. Joint custody can be joint legal custody, joint physical custody (where the children spend a significant portion of time with each parent), or both.

Co-Parenting

In a joint custody arrangement parents are asked to work as part of a co-parenting arrangement. In this arrangement, both parents must create a schedule based on each parent’s work requirements, housing arrangements, and the children’s needs. If parents are not able to come to an agreement when it comes to co-parenting, a court will impose an arrangement.

Various arrangements include:

  • alternating weeks, months, six-month periods, years or
  • spending weekends and holidays with one parent and spending weekdays with the other
  • “bird’s nest custody” or “nesting” during which the children remain in the family home while the parents take turns moving in and out. This can be successful because it does not disrupt the children’s lives that much – they are able to remain in one home and do not have to alternate between their parents’ homes. During the time away from the children the parents each live in a separate apartment or home of their own.

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Parenting During Their Relationship

Garner had this to say of the couple’s parenting abilities:

“For better or worse, I tend to be the one who says, ‘This is what needs to happen.’ I know who wants what lunch, and I’ve done all the school paperwork and filled out the emergency cards. Ben doesn’t know that stuff exists,” she said.

“He is in charge of laughter. No matter how much I tickle them or toss them or chase them around, it’s not the same. If I’m the slow, steady drumbeat, he’s the jazz.”

Co-parenting after a divorce can be difficult. As long as both spouses are able to keep the best interests of their children in mind it can be successful.

Signs of Trouble and Legal Separation

Marriage is not easy and can take a lot of work. This can often mean working with a relationship therapist. Couple’s often decide to separate prior to their divorce, as a way to test the waters and determine if they truly want to be apart from each other. It’s advised that even if you do not decide to seek a divorce, that when you do separate, you file for legal separation. Legal separation is a legal process where the couple receives a court order that says they are separated, but does not mean the couple has actually divorced.  Often times couples will obtain a legal separation as an alternative to a divorce, because of moral or religious objections to divorce.

Legal separation also does not automatically lead to divorce. There have been numerous times where couples have decided to reconcile and continue their marriage. Should they wish to proceed with a divorce after a legal separation, the couple will still need to file for divorce explicitly.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

Whatever your reason is for divorce, you should consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Child Custody Child Support Child Visitation Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce Marital Property Division Mediation Spousal Support

Paltrow and Martin Divorce After Uncoupling Consciously

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are expected to file divorce papers a year after taking to the internet to explain their “conscious uncoupling.”

Conscious Uncoupling

After the announcement from the actress and musician, “conscious uncoupling” immediately became a trend on Twitter and every other social media outlet. All of a sudden “conscious uncoupling” became part of our lexicon. But what did it mean?

An essay written by Drs.Habib Sadeghi and Sherry Sami (who specialize in combining Eastern and Western medicine)  about “conscious uncoupling” accompanied Paltrow and Martin’s announcement. They maintain expectations that your life-long marriage do not match up with humans’ expanded life expectancy.  The “success” of a marriage should instead be defined by looking at how meaningful and fulfilling the relationship is for both spouses, rather than how long the marriage lasts.

In simpler terms, conscious uncoupling meant the couple was splitting up.

M. Gary Neuman, marriage expert and creator of the Neuman Method, considers the couple as center of the family. The act of  “conscious uncoupling” un-centers the family. This can be dangerous for all obvious reasons.

Keeping the Bliss Alive

happy-marriageAccording to a study done by American and European researchers,  newlyweds only have two years to enjoy the joy that a wedding brings to their relationships. Following the two years, the relationship moves towards one that is more focused on companionship rather than burning love emotions. The study tracked 1,761 people who got married and stayed married over 15 years.

While some couples were happy with the companionship that came after the two years, some couples felt it indicated something was wrong in their marriage. According to the Neuman Method, here are some ways to keep that “spring in your step” when it comes to your relationship.

  • New experiences – experience something new together like a poetry class or attending a lecture on something that interests you both. You don’t want to drag your spouse along to something they can’t stand.
  • Travel together
  • Small surprises go a long way. They don’t even have to cost anything – a love note or a text is a great reminder that you’re thinking of your spouse.
  • Turn off social media, cell phones, work, etc… Disconnect so you can reconnect.
  • Pay attention to the little things – the new way she’s doing her hair, or the fact that he is wearing a new cologne.

Marriage takes a lot of work. And even after years of work it can be hard to make it work. Conscious uncoupling demonstrates a kinder approach when moving on from a marriage. One that seems to align with another common trend in divorce: mediation or collaborative divorce.

Collaborative Divorce

As Family lawyer Nathalie Boutet explained, amicable and collaborative divorces or “conscious uncoupling” allows couples to avoid any  unnecessary conflict. This type of conflict prolongs and publicizes negotiations, explained Boutet. According to her, “[Conscious uncoupling] is simply thinking about the consequences of your actions…it’s making plans rather than reacting to emotions like fear, anger or revenge.”

During a collaborative divorce process a team of four people—lawyers for each spouse, a mental health coach and financial professional – sit down and work together to create a solution for each spouse regarding everything that needs to be decided: child support and visitation, spousal support, and marital property division. Collaboration is done face to face so that each spouse is able to voice his or her own opinion. The team allows open communication and negotiation. The process allows people to work together as a team of negotiators to come to an emotional, financial, and legal solution.

Less Expensive and Less Time Spent

According to Jenkins, when a divorce goes to court, you can pay $100,000 just to get to the courthouse steps. An average collaborative can save you a ton of money, as the average one costs about $32,000. “People are raiding their retirement accounts just to pay for divorces,” said Rackham Karlsson, a collaborative attorney. “Going to court can be more expensive, more time intensive and corrosive for children.”

An average collaborative divorce takes three to four months to reach a settlement. When it comes to standard divorce, there really is no timeline. In fact, some divorces, when extremely litigious, have been known to drag on for years as spouses fight over property and spousal support, and who will receive the wedding china.  And because a standard divorce decision is left up to a judge to decide, there is very little control you have over timing and outcome with a case that goes to divorce court.

Divorce

A Good Alternative

There are numerous reasons why people choose the collaborative divorce process over the standard divorce process. The main reasons are that it’s less combative, and the final agreement feels more organic and more of well, an actual agreement than a decree. A couple is able to save time, money, and maybe even some headaches if they are able to work as a member of the collaborative divorce process.

Irreconcilable Differences

Paltrow and Martin will be filing “irreconcilable differences” as their reason for the end of their 11-year marriage.

“Irreconcilable differences” is often the cited reason for a divorce filing. Filing “irreconcilable differences” means there is no hope that the couple will be able to resolve the problems they have with each other to be able to save the marriage. Some states use the term ” irretrievable breakdown of the marriage” instead of “irreconcilable differences.” You will need to check with your state’s terminology and grounds for divorces as each state has different requirements regarding what can be cited as the reason. A divorce attorney will be able to advise you on your state’s specific laws regarding grounds for divorce.

California is a no-fault state. “No-fault” means just that –  neither party is at fault for the end of the marriage. So neither spouse is able to be found “guilty” for committing any sort of extenuating act, such as adultery, abandonment, or extreme cruelty.

Co-Parenting

Co-parenting is a crucial part of your child’s life. You will not be able to raise a child successfully if you do not get a handle on this. No child wants to see their parents fighting, or feel as if they are being tugged between two sides of a war. If the parents of Apple and Moses have figured it out (Martin and Paltrow) then so can you!

You might need to consult a therapist or lawyer to get some groundwork laid for this new relationship. Bottom line: just try to be adults. You might have to dig deep to find that “adult” in there, and you might not want to, but you have to, for your child’s sake. Find an approach that will work for you (for the both of you) and then start from that point.

Kids Interests First

Putting your child’s best interests above your own are the only way to build a successful co-parenting situation while creating an amicable relationship with your ex. You two don’t need to be best friends that talk a million times a day. You just need to find a way to make this work, kind of like being assigned to a lab partner in high school that you just couldn’t stand. You had to work together to get through the assignment and to get the A+ grade that you wanted. If you could make that work in high school, you can make this relationship work as an adult.

This can be done in a number of ways:

  • Work out a method of communication. This can be done through email or text. Being able to write it down helps to create a “paper trail” should there be disputes. But this is also a great way to just remove the emotions and stick to the fact.
  • Remove the emotion during interaction – either in person or via communication
  • Schedule it out. This means weekly routines as well as vacation and other important events.
  • Be flexible
  • Commit to being cooperative. This might be a stretch, but you will need to cooperate.

This is not always an easy process, but once you have these basic things under your belt, it will be easier.

A Family Law Attorney

But when it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney. There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co