Categories
Divorce Family Law

Divorce Crisis or Marriage Crisis?

Divorce is common in Hollywood. This is a fact we all know. All we have to do is wait in line for a few minutes at our local grocery store. The tabloids are piled high with stories of divorces and how much so-and-so will receive in their divorce settlement. And up until a few recently released studies, we also thought we knew that the divorce rate was 50% and that one in two marriages ended in divorce. But the idea that America is a divorce crisis might not be all that accurate. We actually might be in the middle of an actual marriage (as in getting married) crisis. Seems like a ton of people are questioning how blissful “wedded bliss” actually is.

Some Statistics to Consider

Our thoughts on divorce and marriage might be shifting in a way that we weren’t quite aware of. Consider these statistics:

  • Though the overall divorce rate is dropping slightly across the nation, it’s actually on the rise among 25- to 29-year-olds. All this is according to the latest U.S. Census.
  • One in 10 first marriages fails within five years.
  • There are fewer marriages actually happening in the first place. According to Pew Research Center analysis, only 51 percent of adults today are married. That’s compared to 72 percent in 1960. From 2009 to 2010 alone, new marriages fell 5 percent.
  • According to government data, more than half of the births by women under 30 now occur out of wedlock.  “This is quite amazing,” says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University. “A hundred years ago, if you had a child out of marriage, you’d be a social disgrace. Today women feel comfortable enough economically and culturally to bring up a child without a recognized commitment from a man.”

Conclusions

This data is compelling enough, and might just show that we have a marriage problem, not a divorce problem. So does it make sense to say that marriage is a failing trend that could soon just be something that people “used to do”?

Will Marriage Be a Thing of the Past? A Survey

A recent survey done by Glamour magazine asked more than 2,100 women and over 1,000 men ages 18 to 40, if they felt that marriage in America could soon become part of American history. There answers prove it’s still up for debate.

Married Someday

Of the men and women asked, 92 percent say they want to get married someday. The dream of a big white wedding day is alive in most peoples hearts. But it seems that when the reality of marriage gets broken down, women are more skeptical. Half of those surveyed under 30 – which was 51 percent – feel that the institution of marriage is becoming outdated. “This is really a breathtaking statistic,” says Pamela Haag, Ph.D., author of Marriage Confidential. “If you’d asked this 60 years ago, a lot of women would have been too busy making dinner for their husband or running after their children to even take the survey, and they couldn’t afford to not be married. Today there are so many other options. Marriage might still be the preferred dream. But it’s not the exclusive dream.”

And a lot of women seem to feel that way. According to Melody Wilson, 26, from Washington, D.C., “At some point I would like to be able to say ‘my husband’ instead of ‘my boyfriend.”She been with her boyfriend for four years. “But if I never got married, I wouldn’t feel shunned or inept at relationships, which I might have if I lived decades ago.” Vanessa Vancour, 27, from Reno, Nevada, expands a little further: “Having a ring and legal documentation does not guarantee commitment, devotion, or happiness,” she says. “Weddings can be beautiful, but beyond the pretty dress and a few legal rights, I don’t see the point.”

wedding

It’s important to say that these two women, obviously, don’t speak for all women. In fact, 49 percent of those surveyed say that marriage really is a timeless institution. “I think it’s the ultimate sign of commitment,” says Megan Brames, 22, from Nashville. “I want to know my partner is serious about spending his life with me.”

 Guys Thoughts on Marriage

This might sound surprising, but it seems that guys are even more traditional. Of those surveyed, 55 percent aren’t giving up on saying their vows. “Despite the myth that men are less committed, they are predisposed to desire marriage,” says Fisher. Apparently, it’s good old evolution playing apart. She goes on to explain: “He wants to keep the mother of his children around to ensure his DNA lives on.”

So Why the Loss of Faith in Marriage?

So then, why does it seem that more young women are losing faith in marriage? And could Hollywood and all that tabloid fodder be to blame? Apparently, yes, it does play a role. According to 44% of women in the survey: all the drama is fueling the divorce rate.

Research might be able to give us a reasoning for this. In 2010 a controversial study from Harvard University, Brown University, and the University of California, San Diego, suggested that divorce is catching. Meaning it can be spread. An example: A friend ends her marriage. That means your odds of following suit rise by 14 percent. When it’s a sibling that says “I’m done,” that percentage rises to 22 percent.

So it makes sense that in our digital and TMZ obsessed world, that stars which are “Just Like Us” can affect the way we view marriage and divorce.  “I think of Heidi Klum as a friend,” says Ashley Spencer, 25, from Orlando, Florida. “I follow her on Twitter and love all her projects. I really thought she and Seal were going to go the distance. So when I heard she was getting a divorce, it was like hearing an actual friend was ending her marriage.” And Caitlin Brody, 25, from New York City took the Klum-Seal breakup hard. “They seemed in love beyond belief. He freakin’ had an igloo made for the proposal!” she says. “It can be hard to believe in happily ever after if even supermodels and award-winning musicians can’t make it.” What she’s saying that in a dream-world bubble, if they can’t make it work, then no one can. So is this realistic?

Celebrity Couples = Just Like Us? OR Not Like Us at All?

Celebrity couples have a unique list of challenges that typically differs from the average person. These challenges include: long stints on location with sexy costars and dealing with droves of love-struck fans seeking you out at all hours of the day. Laura Jansen, 24, from Los Angeles puts it this way: “I am just not on the same planet as Demi and Ashton.”

That being said, according to the survey, women were more affected by breakups among couples they know personally. Of those women, 63 percent say they get upset when a friend or someone they know goes through a split up. “It’s depressing,” says Wilson. “And sometimes I find myself hoping it doesn’t happen to me.” And it’s that feeling, according to Haag that, “gets at the ripple effect of anxiety and fear that one divorce can have among friends. While divorce might not be, strictly speaking, a viral phenomenon, I’ve seen how catalyzing one breakup can be within a small community.”

How Celeb Divorces Help

But celebrity divorces can actually help in this regard. Often times with divorce, whether it’s your mom or dad, you, or a family friend, it can be kept hush-hush and no one is allowed to talk about it. “While it can be difficult to speak our mind when someone close to us divorces, riffing on Heidi and Seal helps us to process it,” says Eric Klinenberg, Ph.D., a New York University professor of sociology and author of the new book Going Solo. “We’re interested in celebrities’ revolving-door marriages because so many of us have experienced the same thing among our circle.”

Upside

There might be another upside to this change in views towards marriage: the pressure is being taken off women to get married. Almost a third of the women surveyed said she’d feel fine going through the rest of her life checking off the single box. Also, 59 percent of the women feel that divorce is healthy if the people in the marriage fall out of love. “Thirty years ago people in a bad marriage felt they had to justify getting divorced—to themselves and to their friends and family,” says Klinenberg. “Today they have to justify staying together. Very few think that if they get divorced, their life will be over. The country is full of single people living big lives.”

wedding 2

But what do people actually want from marriage today? Something truly great. And now that marriage seems as if it’s more “option” than “standard,” according to experts, we have higher expectations of it. “There’s a real strengthening of the idea that marriage is now about personal growth and fulfillment,” says Andrea L. Press, Ph.D., professor of media studies and sociology at the University of Virginia. As Laura from L.A. puts it, “Getting married is really important to me, but I won’t do it unless it’s going to be amazing.”

Fisher advises that if an amazing marriage is your dream, then follow that — just don’t pretend that divorce is something that might not happen to you. “Learn from what’s going on around you,” she says. “Why are your friends breaking up? Is it money, cheating, issues over kids? The brain is built for love, but knowledge is absolute power when it comes to surviving the ups and downs of marriage.”

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce

Alicia Silverstone Loves Being Single Again

Alicia Silverstone is not only excited about being available but also loves being single again.

Alicia Silverstone Loves Being Single Again

41-year-old Silverstone is back on the dating scene and she loves it. The 41-year-old American Woman actress recently expressed her enthusiasm about being single again. “I love it,” she told Redbook magazine. “Yes, I go on dates, and I find it very fascinating meeting interesting, intelligent, different people.”

She continued: “I’m super excited about being available and open to whatever’s next. Of course, there’s tons about it that’s confusing. I call my girlfriends and I’m like, ‘What does this mean?’”

Co-Parenting for Alicia

Silverstone and estranged husband Chris Jarecki announced they were splitting up in February, after 20 years of marriage. Her and Jarecki have worked to establish a healthy co-parenting relationship for their  7-year-old son Bear.  The Clueless star says that “obviously, it’s heartbreaking.” She added: “You don’t ever think you’ll be apart when you get married. All I can really say is that we’ll co-parent Bear together, and this is completely a good thing for both of us.”

Silverstone’s current role in the series American Woman mirrors her current life situation. Her character — Bonnie Nolan — is a mom raising her children while working on her career and struggling with a divorce.

“I’m always bringing all of myself to every single part that I play, because obviously that’s what I love to do,” Silverstone has said. “I read the script and loved the story and thought it was great … I just fell in love with the role, I thought, ‘What an incredible role for an actress to do, to get to be so many different things and to get to be so strong and so vulnerable.’ She goes through so much and she’s just fighting for her life.”

Move Forward After Divorce Just Like a Celebrity

We know celebrities go through divorce… a lot. But they also take the time to move forward. And they do so in various ways. Some decide to stay out of the limelight – they take a break from social media, etc… Others decide to go for the revenge body. Others immediately jump into new roles and the work they became famous for. Whatever route you choose, make sure it serves your purpose.

Moving forward after divorce means that every day you will need to purposefully carve out time progress and improve. It’s so easy for life to get sucked into the vacuum of a busy schedule. As Professor Harold Hill once said: “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.”

Get Out of Survival Mode

Following your divorce, you might find your life is filled with the nonessential and trivial. Do you check your ex-spouse’s Facebook every day to see if he or she is dating someone new? Do you obsess and get frustrated with every communication that comes from your ex? Are you resentful? How are you channeling all these new feelings? Are you just trying to survive?

It’s time to take your life back into your own hands.

It’s not uncommon to realize that you were living your life on someone else’s terms. But everything is in your hands now. With a lot of work and strong intention, you can design your future. You have to realize you are responsible and you must decide to make a change. Here are some first steps to making that giant leap into your new life:

  • Wake up
  • Get yourself in the zone
  • Get yourself moving
  • Eat well
  • Get ready and inspired
  • Get perspective
  • Do something that will move you forward

Get Enough Sleep

Despite the fact that sleep is just as important for life as eating and drinking water, millions of people do not get enough sleep.

According to the National Sleep Foundation (NSF) 40 million Americans suffer from over 70 different sleep disorders. Additionally, 60 percent of adults and 69 percent of children have one or more sleep problems at least a few nights during a week.

It makes sense then that more than 40 percent of adults experience daytime sleepiness that is severe enough to interfere with daily activities at least a few days every month.

Getting the right amount of sleep can help you have a longer life, increased creativity, memory, attention, and focus. It can help to lower stress and your risk for depression.

Bottom line: you need your beauty sleep.

Find Clarity and Abundance

You need to focus on moving forward toward the positive things in your life. What you set your focus on expands. After waking up from a restful night’s sleep, prayer and meditation can help you orient yourself toward the positive.

Focus on what you are grateful for. This could be the fact that you are out of a relationship and marriage that did not serve you. Maybe you’re just grateful for the fact the sun is shining. There are limitless opportunities and possibilities for you. That air of gratefulness will only draw more positive and good to you.

Start every morning by getting yourself into a space of gratitude and clarity.

Get Some Physical Activity

12558697_s

By now you know you need to get your exercise. Still, according to the Center for Disease Control’s National Health Interview Survey, only one-third of American men and women between the ages of 25 to 64 engage in regular physical activity.

Regular exercise is can decrease your chance of depression, anxiety, and stress. It’s also been linked to higher success in people’s careers. Any form of exercise works: the gym, yard work, cleaning. Just get your body moving and every aspect of your life will thrive.

Eat/Drink 30 Grams of Protein

Eating protein first thing decreases cravings for white carbohydrates (the type of carbs that can make you fat. Donald Layman, professor emeritus of nutrition at the University of Illinois, recommends eating or drinking at least 30 grams of protein for breakfast. In The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss, he recommends getting 30 grams of protein 30 minutes after waking up.

Food rich in protein will help you feel fuller for longer because they take longer for the body to digest. Protein also keeps blood-sugar levels steady, and thus prevents hunger spikes.

According to Ferriss, eat at least 40% of your breakfast calories as protein: two to three whole eggs, turkey bacon, organic pork bacon or sausage, or cottage cheese. You can also do a protein shake made with water. If you follow a vegetarian or vegan diet you can eat legumes, greens, nuts, and seeds.

Take A Cold Shower

Every morning motivational speaker and life coach Tony Robbins jumps into a 57-degree Fahrenheit swimming pool.

Cold water immersion has been shown to radically facilitate physical and mental wellness with regular practice. It not only changes your body’s immune, lymphatic, circulatory and digestive systems, but it can also increase weight-loss because it boosts your metabolism.

A study done in 2007 found that cold water triggers mood-boosting neurochemicals that make people feel happier. The study concluded that because of this, taking cold showers routinely can help treat depression symptoms. Often, cold showers are more effective than prescription medications.

Sure, none of us wants to step into a cold shower, but try to think of it like getting into a swimming pool. The first 20 seconds feels terrible, but once you’ve done it, it’s fine.

Those who do this report feeling an increase in willpower, creativity, motivation, and inspiration.

Do You Have a Life Vision? 

If you haven’t written down your short and long-term goals, you should. Just reviewing them a few minutes a day can put your day into perspective. Chances are some things have changed after your divorce. Take some time to re-focus your energy on what you really want to accomplish.

Reading your long-term goals every day will make sure you think about them every day. As you spend your days working towards your goals, they’ll manifest.

There’s a science to achieving goals, which removes the confusion and ambiguity of them. If you stick to a pattern, you can accomplish your goals, regardless of if they are large or small.

Write them down and review them every single day.

Moving Forward

A divorce can shatter your life if you let it. So don’t let it.

Every day you can move forward with these steps. Put a plan in place to succeed. Every step on that plan brings you closer to your dreams. Maybe that means finally having a day where you don’t feel guilty or sad about your divorce. Maybe it’s a day of less resentment. Maybe it’s a day where you focus on getting healthy by preparing a good meal for yourself.

Making small steps every day like the ones outlined above will change your life. And as a result, the universe will respond to you in beautiful ways.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

Whatever your reason is for divorce, you should consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Family Law Marital Property Division

Who Gets the Dog?

When it comes to divorce, houses can be sold, the property can be divided, and child visitation rights can be decided… but what about the dog?

Who Gets the Dog?

Divorce can get ugly, but sometimes the ugliest it gets is for the most unlikely reason – the family dog.

In every state except for Alaska and Illinois, divorce laws view the family dog as property that can be sold along with any other piece of furniture. And because of this, deciding who is going to take Rover can be a real issue.

For some couples, a custodial schedule for the dog ― along with division of assets ― can be arranged before a divorce goes to court.

But of this type of agreement is absent, it can be left to a judge to determine who, if anyone, gets custody of the dog.

Some courts have acknowledged the value of the bond between a human child and a pet and work to preserve it by ordering the pet follow the same custody schedule as the human child. In cases where there are no children, the court usually orders the divorcing couple to sell the dog or have one party “buy” it from the other.

Additionally, there are some movements by animal rights advocates that seek to change the laws so that animals are treated as sentient individuals ― not property ― who are entitled to certain rights of their own. Laws such as this might also open the door to other interpretations, for instance in veterinary malpractice cases, agriculture and the entertainment industry.

For the time being, your best bet is to find an agreement that allows both of you ample belly rubbing time.

Dividing Marital Property

Divorce is scary to face. What can make the process even more overwhelming is determining what your financial situation will look like. In addition to child support and alimony, you will also need to determine how your property will be divided. When it comes to dividing assets during a divorce there are various concerns you will need to deal with when it comes to dividing the marital property.

What State do you Live in?

State laws govern how the marital property will be divided. You will need to check with an attorney to see if you live in an equitable distribution state or a community property state.

What Counts as Property?

Property is anything that can be bought or sold, or anything that has a financial value. This includes: houses, cars, furniture, clothing, bank accounts, businesses, etc. Within that, there are two forms of property when it comes to a marriage: community property and separate property. Community property is anything earned or acquired during the course of the marriage. Separate property belongs to one spouse. States make their own determinations on what counts as separate property. A family law attorney would be able to help you determine what is “separate property” based on your state’s laws.

Other Considerations

There are four other steps that need to be considered when diving marital property:

  1. Identify the assets owned by you and your spouse
  2. Categorize all assets as marital or non-marital property
  3. A value will need to be assigned to the assets
  4. Devise a plan for the division of assets that is in accordance with state laws

No Fault Divorce Laws

18640254_s

Though most states separate the division of marital property from grounds for divorce due to no fault divorce laws, most states do consider any financial misconduct when it comes to dividing marital property. What this means is if you or your spouse has foolishly spent money then you or your spouse will most likely be penalized when it comes to dividing marital property.

Separate Join Financial Obligations

If you feel the division of marital assets might be a contentious point between you are your spouse, you might want to consider separating financial obligations prior to starting the divorce process. Marital property does not only mean furniture and household items, but also joint credit accounts. Each spouse should have access to a complete set of all financial documents. You’ll also want to close all joint credit card accounts. If you’re not able to fully separate the accounts, draft a formal written agreement outlining the activity on the remaining joint accounts. Freeze any investment assets – this will ensure neither spouse misuses funds until everything has been agreed upon. You might also want to consider changing the title on your home to read “tenants in common” until the final agreement regarding marital property has been decided upon.

In addition to figuring out marital property division, you’ll want to consult with professionals familiar with re-structuring finances after divorces.

The Rest of Your Financial Picture

As you move forward in your new life there will be a number of things you need to change: weekend schedules if you have children, perhaps addresses, maybe even your employer if you have to go back to work or get a higher paying job. There are going to be a number of unanswered questions. You don’t have to answer them all immediately, but chances are, you’ll need to answer them sooner rather than later. Here are some things to consider when it comes to your finances after divorce.

Figure Out a Budget 
You might not have been the spouse in charge of the finances before. Now that you’re on your own, you’re going to have to be. This can be difficult if you’ve never taken care of a checking account. According to certified divorce financial analyst Eva Sachs, the first step toward financial independence is balancing your income with your expenses. So how do you do that? she advises that you sit down and figure out how much money is coming in (this will vary depending on what side of alimony and child support payments you’re on). After you figure this out you’ll need to assess how much of what is coming in is being spent on living expenses.

“Think of it as a spending plan rather than a budget,” says Sachs. “Knowing where your money goes is key, especially after divorce. There will be many new expenses you might not have thought about prior to your divorce; this is a critical time to refrain from spending money you don’t have.”

It might be helpful to write everything down until you have a clear picture. This will give you an up-close look at your financial habits. If you’ve never done this before, this might be a shock. It’s good to know where you can tighten up, or loosen up so that you can budget accordingly.

Rainy Day Fund

Now that you don’t have a spouse to lean on in times of trouble – loss of job, medical emergency, unplanned home expense – you’ll want to create your own rainy day fund. Any unexpected hits to your bank account will need to be covered by you and solely you. Protect yourself, says Sachs. She recommends creating an emergency fund you can continue adding to when you have the chance.

“An emergency fund should equal three to six months of your living expenses,” she says. “If you can swing it, I recommend six months because you’re now single and need an even bigger cushion if you are not able to work or an emergency occurs.”

Make Sure Assets Have Been Transferred

The papers are signed, your divorce is final, you can consider it over. Think again. According to Cheswick, the divorce may be finalized but your work isn’t really complete until you’ve ensured the assets awarded in the settlement have been distributed. Make sure all your t’s are crossed and i’s dotted before you skip along to singledom. Just because things have been agreed to in a settlement, that doesn’t necessarily mean they will automatically happen.

“I can’t tell you the number of people who will contact me months (and unfortunately even years) after their divorce is finalized and there are still outstanding items which have not been resolved,” Cheswick says. “Remember that the agreement is a legally binding contract that you both signed and agreed to uphold. If one party is failing to comply with the terms of the contract then the other party has every right to take steps to ensure their compliance including going back to court to have the agreement enforced.”

pasadena-collaborative-law-divorce-mediation-lawyer

Enlist a Professional

It might seem like another financial burden to use a certified divorce financial planner during your divorce. In addition to legal fees it can feel like yet another financial expense. But a financial planner can save you a lot of headaches while also setting you up for a bright financial future, according to McBurney.

“Most financial mistakes that people make during and after divorce could easily have been avoided if they had sought professional assistance,” she says. “Financial planners can help you figure out how to live within your new financial realities post-divorce and develop strategies for building back your financial security. And tax advisors and CPAs can help you avoid making expensive (and very common!) tax mistakes (related to things like asset transfers, retirement, spousal and child support).”

Retirement

Retirement can be a difficult thing to face during divorce. Chances are you imagined yourself and your spouse sitting on an amazing porch, sipping lemonade, and reminiscing about your children. Just because your spouse is no longer in the equation, that doesn’t mean that you need to abandon your dream retirement life. As Sachs advises, now that the divorce process is almost finalized, look to your future and start to maximize your retirement savings.

“Don’t let divorce stop you from planning for your future,” she says, “Investing in your 401K plan will allow you to save for retirement. You can begin by saving a small amount each week and then let it build slowly or make payroll contributions that match your employer contributions. Don’t stop thinking of the future!”

Just because your future plans have changed, that doesn’t mean it can’t be a bright one. Be smart about your finances and you’ll find the financial freedom you need to help you move on and start a new life.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

As with anything regarding your divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… you should consult a family law attorney. A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Child Custody Child Support Child Visitation Divorce Family Law

Jenna Dewan is Moving Forward

We all knew her as Jenna Dewan Tatum – now she’s minus the “Tatum” and talking about her life after divorce from ex-husband Channing.

Jenna Dewan is Moving Forward

In April, after nearly nine years of marriage, Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum, announced they were separating. In a recent interview, Dewan reveals that her new life has become “a new normal where there is a lot of love.”

The two are figuring out co-parenting their 4-year-old daughter, Everly. “We’re just getting used to it. We’re in a very positive energy together, trying to be the best parents to Everly,” the World of Dance star said. “We support each other.”

“The moves I’m making are completely not related to my marriage or separation, interestingly enough. I was always very happy being a wife. Those feelings [Who are you? What do you want to give to the world? What excites you?] started bubbling up for me, naturally…so I really wanted to expand my life, and myself. And that was my journey, no one else’s,” she said.
“I feel a sense of joy and freedom and excitement, truly, about a new chapter in my life. And I have no attachments to how that’s going to look, or what that’s going to be. I feel really open, and I feel hopeful.”

After Divorce

After getting divorced it can take some time for your life to resettle. What was a crazy tumultuous time will, without a doubt, remain that way for a while. This can be especially true if you have kids and are now part of a co-parenting couple. But as Hollywood has shown us, there are ways that you can move forward after your divorce.

Moving forward after divorce means that every day you will need to purposefully carve out time progress and improve . It’s so easy for life to get sucked into the vacuum of a busy schedule. As Professor Harold Hill once said: “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.”

Get Out of Survival Mode

Following your divorce you might find your life is filled with the nonessential and trivial. Do you check your ex-spouse’s Facebook every day to see if he or she is dating someone new? Do you obsess and get frustrated with every communication that comes from your ex? Are you resentful? How are you channeling all these new feelings? Are you just trying to survive?

It’s time to take your life back into your own hands.

It’s not uncommon to realize that you were living your life on someone else’s terms. But everything is in your hands now. With a lot of work and strong intention you can design your future. You have to realize you are responsible and you must decide to make a change. Here are some first steps to making that giant leap into your new life:

  • Wake up
  • Get yourself in the zone
  • Get yourself moving
  • Eat well
  • Get ready and inspired
  • Get perspective
  • Do something that will move you forward

Get Enough Sleep

Despite the fact that sleep is just as important for life as eating and drinking water, millions of people do not get enough sleep.

According to the National Sleep Foundation (NSF) 40 million Americans suffer from over 70 different sleep disorders. Additionally, 60 percent of adults and 69 percent of children have one or more sleep problems at least a few nights during a week.

It makes sense then that more than 40 percent of adults experience daytime sleepiness that is severe enough to interfere with daily activities at least a few days every month.

Getting the right amount of sleep can help you have a longer life, increased creativity, memory, attention, and focus. It can help to lower stress and your risk for depression.

Bottom line: you need your beauty sleep.

Find Clarity and Abundance

You need to focus on moving forward toward the positive things in your life. What you set your focus on expands. After waking up from a restful night’s sleep, prayer and meditation can help you orient yourself toward the positive.

Focus on what you are grateful for. This could be the fact that you are out of a relationship and marriage that did not serve you. Maybe you’re just grateful for the fact the sun is shining. There are limitless opportunities and possibilities for you. That air of gratefulness will only draw more positive and good to you.

Start every morning by getting yourself into a space of gratitude and clarity.

Get Some Physical Activity

12558697_s

By now you know you need to get your exercise. Still, according to the Center for Disease Control’s National Health Interview Survey, only one-third of American men and women between the ages of 25 to 64 engage in regular physical activity.

Regular exercise is can decrease your chance of depression, anxiety, and stress. It’s also been linked to higher success in people’s careers. Any form of exercise works: the gym, yard work, cleaning. Just get your body moving and every aspect of your life will thrive.

Eat/Drink 30 Grams of Protein

Eating protein first thing decreases cravings for white carbohydrates (the type of carbs that can make you fat. Donald Layman, professor emeritus of nutrition at the University of Illinois, recommends eating or drinking at least 30 grams of protein for breakfast. In The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss, he recommends getting 30 grams of protein 30 minutes after waking up.

Food rich in protein will help you feel fuller for longer because they take longer for the body to digest. Protein also keeps blood-sugar levels steady, and thus prevents hunger spikes.

According to Ferriss, eat at least 40% of your breakfast calories as protein: two to three whole eggs, turkey bacon, organic pork bacon or sausage, or cottage cheese. You can also do a protein shake made with water. If you follow a vegetarian or vegan diet you can eat legumes, greens, nuts, and seeds.

Take A Cold Shower

Every morning motivational speaker and life coach Tony Robbins jumps into a 57-degree Fahrenheit swimming pool.

Cold water immersion has been shown to radically facilitate physical and mental wellness with regular practice. It not only changes your body’s immune, lymphatic, circulatory and digestive systems, but it can also increase weight-loss because it boosts your metabolism.

A study done in 2007 found that cold water triggers mood-boosting neurochemicals that make people feel happier. The study concluded that because of this, taking cold showers routinely can help treat depression symptoms. Often, cold showers are more effective than prescription medications.

Sure, none of us wants to step into a cold shower, but try to think of it like getting into a swimming pool. The first 20 seconds feels terrible, but once you’ve done it, it’s fine.

Those who do this report feeling an increase in willpower, creativity, motivation, and inspiration.

Do You Have a Life Vision? 

If you haven’t written down your short and long-term goals, you should. Just reviewing them a few minutes a day can put your day into perspective. Chances are some things have changed after your divorce. Take some time to re-focus your energy on what you really want to accomplish.

Reading your long-term goals every day will make sure you think about them every day. As you spend your days working towards your goals, they’ll manifest.

There’s a science to achieving goals, which removes the confusion and ambiguity of them. If you stick to a pattern, you can accomplish your goals, regardless of if they are large or small.

Write them down and review them every single day.

Moving Forward

A divorce can shatter your life if you let it. So don’t let it.

Every day you can move forward with these steps. Put a plan in place to succeed. Every step on that plan brings you closer to your dreams. Maybe that means finally having a day where you don’t feel guilty or sad about your divorce. Maybe it’s a day of less resentment. Maybe it’s a day where you focus on getting healthy by preparing a good meal for yourself.

Making small steps every day like the ones outlined above will change your life. And as a result, the universe will respond to you in beautiful ways.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

Whatever your reason is for divorce, you should consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co