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Divorce Rates: Higher-Income and Lower-Income Families

According to a 2014 study conducted by the Pew Research Center, 80 percent of never-married women said “finding someone with a steady job would be very important.” The idea of “steady job” could be defining factor in the difference between the divorce rates of higher-income families and lower-income families.

Divorce Rates

Divorce rates among lower-income families remain stagnant, roughly where they were in the 1980’s, while new research shows higher-income families are seeing a decline in divorce rates. For higher-income families, the phrase “half of every marriage ends in divorce” is no longer true. In fact, the divorce rate has been dropping. In a piece posted on Upshot, the New York Times’ data blog, the divorce rates seen in the late 1970s and early 1980s may have just been a “historical anomaly,” rather than a trend.

 

Divorce Rate Statistics

Below, are a few statistics noted in the Upshot blog:

  • Roughly 70 percent of marriages that began in the 1990s reached 15 years. That’s up from only 65 percent for marriages that began in the 1970s and 1980s. Couples wed in the 2000s are divorcing at even lower rates.
  • According to economists Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfer, the 1970s feminist movement had a considerable impact on where the divorce rate is now. During the movement women entered the work force and gained reproductive rights. As a result, marriages began to evolve into the “modern-day form, based on love and shared passions, and often two incomes and shared housekeeping duties.”
  • There are more mature marriages now as people are marrying later on in life. The median age for marriage during the 1950s was 23 for men and 20 for women. In 2004, it increased to 27 for men and 26 for women.
  • According to Wolfers, if the numbers continue to decrease, roughly two-thirds of marriages will never end in divorce. That’s a giant change from the 50 percent statistic that’s often thrown around.

When it comes to comparing higher-income divorce rates to lower-income divorce rates:

  •  The number of married, college-educated couples that split by their seventh anniversary was 20 percent in the 1980s and is now just 11 percent.
  • Meanwhile,  17 percent of lower-income couples ( in the study this was couples making no more than twice the federal poverty line of just over $30,000) get divorced at roughly the same rate as the 1980’s: 20 percent.

Similar Ideas Regarding Children

But it might not just be the idea of having a steady income that’s impacting divorce rates among lower-income families. It might be more of a shift towards the idea of having a more equal division of domestic life. The Pew Research study found 70 percent of women also want to find a mate that has similar ideas about having and raising children. A 2007 poll conducted by the Pew Research Center found couples want a more even distribution of responsibilities.

This idea of equal responsibilities: the idea of both parents bringing in an income, sharing time with the family, being equal contributors has become a defining feature of a good marriage. According to the poll, it outranks having an adequate income, sharing religious beliefs, or even having children.

50-50 Marriage

Motorists and Cyclists

“What we have is historically high expectations for what young people call a 50-50 marriage,” says Bill Doherty, a professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota.

“People are looking for a high-intimacy, high-income marriage where both partners contribute, regardless of income bracket,” he continued. “Unless you have a good economic base and a certain level of personal maturity, it can be very hard.”

According to The Washington Post‘s Darlena Cunha, this trend towards wanting a 50-50 marriage has it’s downfall for families that night not be able to achieve that standard. Lower-income families, who are struggling economically, are having a harder time managing this kind of ideal marriage belief. And as a result, more lower-income marriages are leading to divorce.

The differing divorce rates between lower-income families and higher-income families is something researchers have been trying to comprehend for years. It can be especially difficult to see a link when studies over the years show that lower-income families value marriage just as other demographics.

“A lot of government policy is based on the assumption that low-income people hold less traditional views about marriage,” says researcher and UCLA professor of psychology, Benjamin Karney. “However, the different income groups do not hold dramatically different views about marriage and divorce — and when the views are different, they are different in the opposite direction from what is commonly assumed.”

According to The New York Times‘ Stephanie Coontz, “Since the 1970s, families have become more egalitarian in their internal relationships. But inequality among families has soared,”she wrote. “Women have become more secure as their real wages and legal rights have increased. But families have become more insecure as their income and job instability have worsened.”

While parents have grown more equal in their internal roles, “rising inequality has changed family dynamics for all socioeconomic groups.”

Women Making Leaps

According to Cunha, women seem to have exited the recession better than men. Following the recession, unemployment levels dropped from historic highs. But this was more so for woman than men. In summer 2013, roughly 7.5 percent of men over age 20 were unemployed. That number was only 6.5 percent for women, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. That, coupled with the ever-increasingly polarized workforce, where high and low income jobs are increasing and middle-income jobs decreasing, has caused women to make even greater leaps. As a result, it seems women are becoming increasingly impatient with the economic stagnation of their male counterparts and family members.

“I realized that since I was the only reliable person in the family making money,” said Cece Azadi of Alabama. “there wasn’t much reason to hold onto that marriage.

Seeking Alimony

It makes sense that women and men are both striving for 50-50 marriages. If you do not feel that is attainable for your marriage and are seeking  divorce, you’ll want to understand the idea of alimony, regardless of if you will need to pay alimony or receive alimony.

Alimony, often called “spousal support” is when one spouse pays the other spouse in order to help that spouse maintain the same financial standard of living as was experienced during the marriage. A divorce court will often require the higher earning spouse to assist the lower earning spouse.

Awarding Alimony

A California judge can award temporary support (“pendente lite”) either during the divorce proceedings, or after the divorce has been finalized.  Alimony payments are made from one spouse to the other in a specified amount for a predetermined period of time. A support payment can also be paid in a single lump-sum. In collaborative process divorce agreements, spouses often come to agreement on the terms and conditions of support payments, which often includes tax agreements and child support tax agreements. As long as an alimony agreement meets legal requirements, a court will uphold an agreement. This is the case even if the divorce agreement provides for a complete waiver of support to the lower-earning spouse.

Duration of Spousal Support

In California, the duration of spousal support agreements are typically determined and based on the length of the marriage. A general rule of thumb is that for a marriage of less than 10 years, a court will not order support payments be made for longer than half the length of the marriage. But if a marriage has lasted 10 years or longer, a court typically will not set a definite termination date for support. Both spouses are able to request modifications to the spousal support agreement indefinitely, unless a termination date has specifically been agreed, or if the court expressly terminates the support at a later hearing.

Awarding Permanent Support

The awarding of “permanent” (meaning the support lasts for a lifetime) is rare, even for marriages that last over 10 years. Family law courts in California tend to require a spouse seeking support to make an effort to become self-supporting through obtaining employment. A spouse making claims they are unable to work, or unable to become fully employed, is required to support the claim with evidence. This typically means a  vocational evaluation must be done. For long term support orders, the support gradually reduces over time by a nominal amount. Permanent support is usually only awarded to spouses that are unable to become self-supporting due to age or disability.

A Family Law Attorney

There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

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Child Custody Child Support Divorce Family Law

College Tuition and Divorce

One of the hardest things for divorced parents is handling the child situation. From child custody to child support payments, these types of situations can be difficult. And the thing that makes it the most difficult? Money. That’s why it makes sense that it takes a lot of planning and careful decision making when it comes to divorced parents and the college tuition dilemma.

Navigating College Finances and Divorce

Financial aid is a big part of sending kids to college these days. Most parents aren’t able to just foot the bill out-right, so most families are stuck dealing with the dramatic situation that is financing college tuition. The drama of this situation can be compounded by a divorce. Divorced parents are often divorced for a reason, and that reason is usually irreconcilable differences.

Irreconcilable differences means you and your spouse are not able to agree on basic, fundamental issues involving the marriage or your family, and you never will agree. While there is no set rule, the following are reasons for why a couple might decide to file:

wistful

  • Conflict of personalities
  • Emotional needs are not being met
  • The marriage is suffering from financial difficulties
  • Long physical separation
  • Difference in interests
  • Resentment
  • Distrust
  • Constant bickering
  • Irreversible antagonistic feelings

Chances are, if you are seeking divorce, or are divorced, there are a few things that you and your spouse do not see eye-to-eye on. That “thing” could very well be finances.

Finding Common Ground for College

One thing that divorced parents might be able to reach common ground on is their shared child’s education. Even if you and your spouse both agree to continued education, you’ll want to know what you’re getting into when it comes to finding a way to pay for that continued education.

Here are some helpful hints from Tiffany and Clem Clay, a couple going through navigating those waters:

1. There might be different meanings when it comes to “custody” and “parent.”

By now you are probably familiar with the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, better known as the FAFSA. That application asks for the custodial parent. According to Clem, that’s a loaded question.

“‘Custody’ is not the legal meaning, not the tax meaning,” he explains. “If I am determined the custodial parent, my ex might get upset and say ‘What do you mean I am not custodial?!’ They should use a different word.”

When filling out the FAFSA, you should know that “custody” is determined by which parent the student has lived with the most during the past 365 days. For parents that have joint shared custody, there is a second test that you can take that establishes which household provided more of the financial support during the past year. According to Clem, “that guidance is very ambiguous,” says Clay.

Additionally, the form requests information for Parent 1, the custodial parent, and Parent 2.

“If I would have put my kid in front of that form they would have said, ‘Parent 2, that’s my dad, right?'” says Tiffany Clay. “No. Parent 2 is my husband!”

2. Provide enough financial information, but don’t overshare when it comes to listing all family members.

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One common mistake is when families with multiple households list everyone’s financial information: mom, dad, stepdad, and stepmom.

According to Scott Weingold, managing director of the College Planning Network, that can be a costly mistake.

“You may be over-reporting your income,” Weingold says. Listing everyone, even if it’s not required, can change your situation and make you appear as if you have more money than you actually do. “A family that could have gotten aid from a school may be getting nothing now because it looks like they have more money available than they do.”

Weingold advises that parents focus on providing information for just the custodial parent, which will include a step-parent’s information if the custodial parent has remarried. While the federal government does not require information on the non-custodial parent to be included, the FAFSA does ask about child support received by the custodial parent. For many private schools, a non-custodial parent will be asked to provide his or her financial information as well. While this affects the amount that a private school might award, it does not affect the amount of federal aid a child might receive.

“This does get confusing and tense for families,” according to Dave Myatt, senior associate director of financial aid at Augustana College. “We get phone calls challenging why we need the stepparent’s information on the form in the first place. But we need the household’s information, including both individuals.”

This can be even trickier for couples that are not remarried, but live with a significant other. The non-parent is not legally a step-parent, but of course his or her financial contributions make up the household income. “If the parent is living with someone who is paying rent or utilities, that needs to be listed on the FAFSA as other untaxed income.”

3. Determine how involved a “non-custodial parent” should be.

This was a difficult things for Naomi Elliott to deal with, and one that most divorced but co-parenting parents go through – she wanted to avoid contact with her ex-husband as much as possible. She is the custodial parent. This became such a bone of contention that Naomi and her son Simon decided that Simon would only apply to schools that would allow the financial aid and financial aid application to be based exclusively on the custodial parent.

Of course this was not only a financial decision for Naomi, but due to her relationship with her ex-husband, it also became an emotional one. Naomi was unsure that Simon’s father would provide Simon with tuition money. Naomi did her research though, and found a number of schools that were not only a good match for Simon, but also schools that would not require information from the non-custodial parent to be included.

“I couldn’t afford a penny of his education,” says Naomi. She works as a real estate agent in Massachusetts. “The divorce wiped me out. I knew that I needed a financial package that was significant and didn’t ask me or my son to take out loans.”

Simon was accepted to Vanderbilt, where is a sophomore. “The school awarded my son $54,000 a year, which is a load of money,” says Naomi. The tuition covers everything but some living expenses. The difference is $10,000, and that is paid for by Simon’s father.

4. Prepare for the hard conversations.

When adding divorce into the mix, tuition costs can be harder to predict. As Clem Clay says,  families may be overly optimistic about financial aid offers if they are not well informed. When it comes to timing, he suggests that parents have an idea of what they’re going to do and the complexities of the financial aid process by the summer or fall of the student’s senior year at the latest. Kids are often at the mercy of a parents’ willingness and ability to pay tuition. That can often be the main sticking point of the decision-making process.

“There is no requirement that the higher-earning spouse pays for college,” says Jeff Landers, a financial advisor. “That is a huge misconception many women have.”

When it comes to the divorce process, child support and funding for education is one of the main things that is discussed. It should be explicitly spelled out in the divorce agreement.  “Otherwise you may find that one partner will suddenly say, ‘I’m not paying it,'” says Landers.

 According to Tiffany Clay, “This isn’t just a numbers game. It is a whole emotional roller coaster caused by the numbers.”

A Family Law Attorney

When it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney. There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

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Child Custody Child Support Child Visitation Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law Move Aways (Child Relocation)

Child Visitation Over the Summer

With the 4th of July and the summer just peeking ’round the corner, you might be facing the dilemma that comes with coordinating child visitation during the summer season.

Child Visitation Over the Summer

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There’s no reason why coordinating your child visitation schedule should add stress to the summer holiday season. There are some critical steps that need to be taken to ensure a stress-free custody situation. Before the season kicks off, reflect on which holiday is most important – whether it be Kwanza, Christmas, or Thanksgiving, 4th of July, or Easter. There will have to be some form of give-and-take, but if you can prioritize the holidays for yourself you might find you’re willing to negotiate a little easier. If both you and your co-parent value the same holiday the same amount, you should consider trading off the years. If you live close enough, and it’s not going to cause any drama, you might even want to split the day.

Get the Child Visitation Schedule in Writing Ahead of Time

Like most things with the holidays, managing a child visitation schedule closer to the actual holiday can add to the stress. Your child will also want to know where they are spending which holiday. Putting a plan in place far ahead of time, and putting it in writing will ensure that you aren’t deciding, or negotiating, on child visitation right up until the day before. Keep a record of the schedule, especially if you are trading off years for holidays. Having a plan in writing makes it impossible to forget how the holidays were split up the year prior. That way you can put your energy into actually celebrating the holiday, rather than stressing about who will be where.

Child Visitation

Often times, as part of a child custody ruling, a court will rule one parent has “supervised child visitation” rights. Here’s a little more information on what it means for visitation to be “supervised.”

Why “Supervised Child Visitation”?

California’s public policy on child custody is to protect the best interest of a child. And sometimes, based on what has been presented in court, a judge will rule the child only have contact with a parent when a neutral third party is present. Thus, the visitation rights are “supervised.” Reasons Behind Ruling

A judge may rule for supervised visitation for many reasons, such as:

  • To allow the visiting parent an opportunity to address specific issues;
  • In the case of reintroducing a parent and child after a long absence;
  • In the case of introducing a parent to a child;
  • A parent has a history of domestic violence, child abuse and neglect, or substance abuse;
  • When there are concerns of mental illness; or
  • If there is a parental threat of abduction.

A court will order specific times and durations for the visits. The court might also specify who will provide the supervision during these visits.

Supervised Child Visitation Providers

A supervised visitation provider’s main responsibility is to keep the child or children safe during the visit. The provider might be a family member, a friend, or a paid professional. A provider must be present at all times during the visit. Additionally, they are required to listen to what is being said, while paying close attention to the child’s or children’s behavior. If the provider deems it necessary, they may interrupt or end a visit. And legally, all providers must report suspected child abuse.

Types of providers

According to law, there are 2 types of supervised visitation providers:

  • Nonprofessional providers – usually family or friend who is not paid to provide their supervision
  • Professional providers – trained and experienced with providing supervision. They charge a fee for the service and are also required to follow a uniform standards of practice.

The court order will declare which type of provider you will be required to have during these visits.

Reasons for Ruling for Supervision

A judge may decide on supervised visitation for many reasons. These can include, but are not limited to the following:

  • A visiting parent might need an opportunity to address a specific issue.
  • When a parent and child are reintroduced after a long period of absence.
  • When a parent is first being introduced to a child
  • When a parent has a history of domestic violence, child abuse, and neglect, or substance abuse.
  • When concerns about mental illness have been expressed
  • When there is a potential abduction threat.

In addition to a “supervised” ruling, the court will also order specific times and durations for the meetings. The court will also specify what type of supervision will be required during the visits: either professional or non-professional.

Professional and Non-Professional Supervision

There are two types of supervision: professional and non-professional. Non-professional providers are usually family members or friends. A professional provider is trained and experienced in child visitation visits. For a fee or service, they attend the visits. They also follow a standard uniform of practice.

A provider’s main purpose for attendance is to keep the child or children safe during the visit. They must not only be present the entire time, but are also required to listen to what is being said, while also closely monitoring the child’s or children’s behavior. If the supervisor deems it necessary, they are able to interrupt or end a visit. They are required by law to report suspected child abuse.

Co-Parenting

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Though co-parenting can be difficult, it’s always advised that parents try to work out a co-parenting relationship. Co-parenting is a crucial part of your child’s life. You will not be able to raise a child successfully if you do not get a handle on this. No child wants to see their parents fighting, or feel as if they are being tugged between two sides of a war.

You might need to consult a therapist or lawyer to get some groundwork laid for this new relationship. Bottom line: just try to be adults. You might have to dig deep to find that “adult” in there, and you might not want to, but you have to, for your child’s sake. Find an approach that will work for you (for the both of you) and then start from that point.

Kids Interests First

Putting your child’s best interests above your own are the only way to build a successful co-parenting situation while creating an amicable relationship with your ex. You two don’t need to be best friends that talk a million times a day. You just need to find a way to make this work, kind of like being assigned to a lab partner in high school that you just couldn’t stand. You had to work together to get through the assignment and to get the A+ grade that you wanted. If you could make that work in high school, you can make this relationship work as an adult.

This can be done in a number of ways:

  • Work out a method of communication. This can be done through email or text. Being able to write it down helps to create a “paper trail” should there be disputes. But this is also a great way to just remove the emotions and stick to the fact.
  • Remove the emotion during interaction – either in person or via communication
  • Schedule it out. This means weekly routines as well as vacation and other important events.
  • Be flexible
  • Commit to being cooperative. This might be a stretch, but you will need to cooperate.

This is not always an easy process, but once you have these basic things under your belt, it will be easier.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

If you’re having trouble working with your co-parent on putting together a child visitation schedule, you might want to consider working with a family law attorney that works with child custody issues. Having a go-between can help ease any tension surrounding negotiations, especially when the negotiations revolve around important family moments like the holiday season.

For advice on child visitation, you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Divorce Family Law

Divorce Crisis or Marriage Crisis?

Divorce is common in Hollywood. This is a fact we all know. All we have to do is wait in line for a few minutes at our local grocery store. The tabloids are piled high with stories of divorces and how much so-and-so will receive in their divorce settlement. And up until a few recently released studies, we also thought we knew that the divorce rate was 50% and that one in two marriages ended in divorce. But the idea that America is a divorce crisis might not be all that accurate. We actually might be in the middle of an actual marriage (as in getting married) crisis. Seems like a ton of people are questioning how blissful “wedded bliss” actually is.

Some Statistics to Consider

Our thoughts on divorce and marriage might be shifting in a way that we weren’t quite aware of. Consider these statistics:

  • Though the overall divorce rate is dropping slightly across the nation, it’s actually on the rise among 25- to 29-year-olds. All this is according to the latest U.S. Census.
  • One in 10 first marriages fails within five years.
  • There are fewer marriages actually happening in the first place. According to Pew Research Center analysis, only 51 percent of adults today are married. That’s compared to 72 percent in 1960. From 2009 to 2010 alone, new marriages fell 5 percent.
  • According to government data, more than half of the births by women under 30 now occur out of wedlock.  “This is quite amazing,” says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University. “A hundred years ago, if you had a child out of marriage, you’d be a social disgrace. Today women feel comfortable enough economically and culturally to bring up a child without a recognized commitment from a man.”

Conclusions

This data is compelling enough, and might just show that we have a marriage problem, not a divorce problem. So does it make sense to say that marriage is a failing trend that could soon just be something that people “used to do”?

Will Marriage Be a Thing of the Past? A Survey

A recent survey done by Glamour magazine asked more than 2,100 women and over 1,000 men ages 18 to 40, if they felt that marriage in America could soon become part of American history. There answers prove it’s still up for debate.

Married Someday

Of the men and women asked, 92 percent say they want to get married someday. The dream of a big white wedding day is alive in most peoples hearts. But it seems that when the reality of marriage gets broken down, women are more skeptical. Half of those surveyed under 30 – which was 51 percent – feel that the institution of marriage is becoming outdated. “This is really a breathtaking statistic,” says Pamela Haag, Ph.D., author of Marriage Confidential. “If you’d asked this 60 years ago, a lot of women would have been too busy making dinner for their husband or running after their children to even take the survey, and they couldn’t afford to not be married. Today there are so many other options. Marriage might still be the preferred dream. But it’s not the exclusive dream.”

And a lot of women seem to feel that way. According to Melody Wilson, 26, from Washington, D.C., “At some point I would like to be able to say ‘my husband’ instead of ‘my boyfriend.”She been with her boyfriend for four years. “But if I never got married, I wouldn’t feel shunned or inept at relationships, which I might have if I lived decades ago.” Vanessa Vancour, 27, from Reno, Nevada, expands a little further: “Having a ring and legal documentation does not guarantee commitment, devotion, or happiness,” she says. “Weddings can be beautiful, but beyond the pretty dress and a few legal rights, I don’t see the point.”

wedding

It’s important to say that these two women, obviously, don’t speak for all women. In fact, 49 percent of those surveyed say that marriage really is a timeless institution. “I think it’s the ultimate sign of commitment,” says Megan Brames, 22, from Nashville. “I want to know my partner is serious about spending his life with me.”

 Guys Thoughts on Marriage

This might sound surprising, but it seems that guys are even more traditional. Of those surveyed, 55 percent aren’t giving up on saying their vows. “Despite the myth that men are less committed, they are predisposed to desire marriage,” says Fisher. Apparently, it’s good old evolution playing apart. She goes on to explain: “He wants to keep the mother of his children around to ensure his DNA lives on.”

So Why the Loss of Faith in Marriage?

So then, why does it seem that more young women are losing faith in marriage? And could Hollywood and all that tabloid fodder be to blame? Apparently, yes, it does play a role. According to 44% of women in the survey: all the drama is fueling the divorce rate.

Research might be able to give us a reasoning for this. In 2010 a controversial study from Harvard University, Brown University, and the University of California, San Diego, suggested that divorce is catching. Meaning it can be spread. An example: A friend ends her marriage. That means your odds of following suit rise by 14 percent. When it’s a sibling that says “I’m done,” that percentage rises to 22 percent.

So it makes sense that in our digital and TMZ obsessed world, that stars which are “Just Like Us” can affect the way we view marriage and divorce.  “I think of Heidi Klum as a friend,” says Ashley Spencer, 25, from Orlando, Florida. “I follow her on Twitter and love all her projects. I really thought she and Seal were going to go the distance. So when I heard she was getting a divorce, it was like hearing an actual friend was ending her marriage.” And Caitlin Brody, 25, from New York City took the Klum-Seal breakup hard. “They seemed in love beyond belief. He freakin’ had an igloo made for the proposal!” she says. “It can be hard to believe in happily ever after if even supermodels and award-winning musicians can’t make it.” What she’s saying that in a dream-world bubble, if they can’t make it work, then no one can. So is this realistic?

Celebrity Couples = Just Like Us? OR Not Like Us at All?

Celebrity couples have a unique list of challenges that typically differs from the average person. These challenges include: long stints on location with sexy costars and dealing with droves of love-struck fans seeking you out at all hours of the day. Laura Jansen, 24, from Los Angeles puts it this way: “I am just not on the same planet as Demi and Ashton.”

That being said, according to the survey, women were more affected by breakups among couples they know personally. Of those women, 63 percent say they get upset when a friend or someone they know goes through a split up. “It’s depressing,” says Wilson. “And sometimes I find myself hoping it doesn’t happen to me.” And it’s that feeling, according to Haag that, “gets at the ripple effect of anxiety and fear that one divorce can have among friends. While divorce might not be, strictly speaking, a viral phenomenon, I’ve seen how catalyzing one breakup can be within a small community.”

How Celeb Divorces Help

But celebrity divorces can actually help in this regard. Often times with divorce, whether it’s your mom or dad, you, or a family friend, it can be kept hush-hush and no one is allowed to talk about it. “While it can be difficult to speak our mind when someone close to us divorces, riffing on Heidi and Seal helps us to process it,” says Eric Klinenberg, Ph.D., a New York University professor of sociology and author of the new book Going Solo. “We’re interested in celebrities’ revolving-door marriages because so many of us have experienced the same thing among our circle.”

Upside

There might be another upside to this change in views towards marriage: the pressure is being taken off women to get married. Almost a third of the women surveyed said she’d feel fine going through the rest of her life checking off the single box. Also, 59 percent of the women feel that divorce is healthy if the people in the marriage fall out of love. “Thirty years ago people in a bad marriage felt they had to justify getting divorced—to themselves and to their friends and family,” says Klinenberg. “Today they have to justify staying together. Very few think that if they get divorced, their life will be over. The country is full of single people living big lives.”

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But what do people actually want from marriage today? Something truly great. And now that marriage seems as if it’s more “option” than “standard,” according to experts, we have higher expectations of it. “There’s a real strengthening of the idea that marriage is now about personal growth and fulfillment,” says Andrea L. Press, Ph.D., professor of media studies and sociology at the University of Virginia. As Laura from L.A. puts it, “Getting married is really important to me, but I won’t do it unless it’s going to be amazing.”

Fisher advises that if an amazing marriage is your dream, then follow that — just don’t pretend that divorce is something that might not happen to you. “Learn from what’s going on around you,” she says. “Why are your friends breaking up? Is it money, cheating, issues over kids? The brain is built for love, but knowledge is absolute power when it comes to surviving the ups and downs of marriage.”

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

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Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce

Alicia Silverstone Loves Being Single Again

Alicia Silverstone is not only excited about being available but also loves being single again.

Alicia Silverstone Loves Being Single Again

41-year-old Silverstone is back on the dating scene and she loves it. The 41-year-old American Woman actress recently expressed her enthusiasm about being single again. “I love it,” she told Redbook magazine. “Yes, I go on dates, and I find it very fascinating meeting interesting, intelligent, different people.”

She continued: “I’m super excited about being available and open to whatever’s next. Of course, there’s tons about it that’s confusing. I call my girlfriends and I’m like, ‘What does this mean?’”

Co-Parenting for Alicia

Silverstone and estranged husband Chris Jarecki announced they were splitting up in February, after 20 years of marriage. Her and Jarecki have worked to establish a healthy co-parenting relationship for their  7-year-old son Bear.  The Clueless star says that “obviously, it’s heartbreaking.” She added: “You don’t ever think you’ll be apart when you get married. All I can really say is that we’ll co-parent Bear together, and this is completely a good thing for both of us.”

Silverstone’s current role in the series American Woman mirrors her current life situation. Her character — Bonnie Nolan — is a mom raising her children while working on her career and struggling with a divorce.

“I’m always bringing all of myself to every single part that I play, because obviously that’s what I love to do,” Silverstone has said. “I read the script and loved the story and thought it was great … I just fell in love with the role, I thought, ‘What an incredible role for an actress to do, to get to be so many different things and to get to be so strong and so vulnerable.’ She goes through so much and she’s just fighting for her life.”

Move Forward After Divorce Just Like a Celebrity

We know celebrities go through divorce… a lot. But they also take the time to move forward. And they do so in various ways. Some decide to stay out of the limelight – they take a break from social media, etc… Others decide to go for the revenge body. Others immediately jump into new roles and the work they became famous for. Whatever route you choose, make sure it serves your purpose.

Moving forward after divorce means that every day you will need to purposefully carve out time progress and improve. It’s so easy for life to get sucked into the vacuum of a busy schedule. As Professor Harold Hill once said: “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.”

Get Out of Survival Mode

Following your divorce, you might find your life is filled with the nonessential and trivial. Do you check your ex-spouse’s Facebook every day to see if he or she is dating someone new? Do you obsess and get frustrated with every communication that comes from your ex? Are you resentful? How are you channeling all these new feelings? Are you just trying to survive?

It’s time to take your life back into your own hands.

It’s not uncommon to realize that you were living your life on someone else’s terms. But everything is in your hands now. With a lot of work and strong intention, you can design your future. You have to realize you are responsible and you must decide to make a change. Here are some first steps to making that giant leap into your new life:

  • Wake up
  • Get yourself in the zone
  • Get yourself moving
  • Eat well
  • Get ready and inspired
  • Get perspective
  • Do something that will move you forward

Get Enough Sleep

Despite the fact that sleep is just as important for life as eating and drinking water, millions of people do not get enough sleep.

According to the National Sleep Foundation (NSF) 40 million Americans suffer from over 70 different sleep disorders. Additionally, 60 percent of adults and 69 percent of children have one or more sleep problems at least a few nights during a week.

It makes sense then that more than 40 percent of adults experience daytime sleepiness that is severe enough to interfere with daily activities at least a few days every month.

Getting the right amount of sleep can help you have a longer life, increased creativity, memory, attention, and focus. It can help to lower stress and your risk for depression.

Bottom line: you need your beauty sleep.

Find Clarity and Abundance

You need to focus on moving forward toward the positive things in your life. What you set your focus on expands. After waking up from a restful night’s sleep, prayer and meditation can help you orient yourself toward the positive.

Focus on what you are grateful for. This could be the fact that you are out of a relationship and marriage that did not serve you. Maybe you’re just grateful for the fact the sun is shining. There are limitless opportunities and possibilities for you. That air of gratefulness will only draw more positive and good to you.

Start every morning by getting yourself into a space of gratitude and clarity.

Get Some Physical Activity

12558697_s

By now you know you need to get your exercise. Still, according to the Center for Disease Control’s National Health Interview Survey, only one-third of American men and women between the ages of 25 to 64 engage in regular physical activity.

Regular exercise is can decrease your chance of depression, anxiety, and stress. It’s also been linked to higher success in people’s careers. Any form of exercise works: the gym, yard work, cleaning. Just get your body moving and every aspect of your life will thrive.

Eat/Drink 30 Grams of Protein

Eating protein first thing decreases cravings for white carbohydrates (the type of carbs that can make you fat. Donald Layman, professor emeritus of nutrition at the University of Illinois, recommends eating or drinking at least 30 grams of protein for breakfast. In The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss, he recommends getting 30 grams of protein 30 minutes after waking up.

Food rich in protein will help you feel fuller for longer because they take longer for the body to digest. Protein also keeps blood-sugar levels steady, and thus prevents hunger spikes.

According to Ferriss, eat at least 40% of your breakfast calories as protein: two to three whole eggs, turkey bacon, organic pork bacon or sausage, or cottage cheese. You can also do a protein shake made with water. If you follow a vegetarian or vegan diet you can eat legumes, greens, nuts, and seeds.

Take A Cold Shower

Every morning motivational speaker and life coach Tony Robbins jumps into a 57-degree Fahrenheit swimming pool.

Cold water immersion has been shown to radically facilitate physical and mental wellness with regular practice. It not only changes your body’s immune, lymphatic, circulatory and digestive systems, but it can also increase weight-loss because it boosts your metabolism.

A study done in 2007 found that cold water triggers mood-boosting neurochemicals that make people feel happier. The study concluded that because of this, taking cold showers routinely can help treat depression symptoms. Often, cold showers are more effective than prescription medications.

Sure, none of us wants to step into a cold shower, but try to think of it like getting into a swimming pool. The first 20 seconds feels terrible, but once you’ve done it, it’s fine.

Those who do this report feeling an increase in willpower, creativity, motivation, and inspiration.

Do You Have a Life Vision? 

If you haven’t written down your short and long-term goals, you should. Just reviewing them a few minutes a day can put your day into perspective. Chances are some things have changed after your divorce. Take some time to re-focus your energy on what you really want to accomplish.

Reading your long-term goals every day will make sure you think about them every day. As you spend your days working towards your goals, they’ll manifest.

There’s a science to achieving goals, which removes the confusion and ambiguity of them. If you stick to a pattern, you can accomplish your goals, regardless of if they are large or small.

Write them down and review them every single day.

Moving Forward

A divorce can shatter your life if you let it. So don’t let it.

Every day you can move forward with these steps. Put a plan in place to succeed. Every step on that plan brings you closer to your dreams. Maybe that means finally having a day where you don’t feel guilty or sad about your divorce. Maybe it’s a day of less resentment. Maybe it’s a day where you focus on getting healthy by preparing a good meal for yourself.

Making small steps every day like the ones outlined above will change your life. And as a result, the universe will respond to you in beautiful ways.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

Whatever your reason is for divorce, you should consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Family Law Marital Property Division

Who Gets the Dog?

When it comes to divorce, houses can be sold, the property can be divided, and child visitation rights can be decided… but what about the dog?

Who Gets the Dog?

Divorce can get ugly, but sometimes the ugliest it gets is for the most unlikely reason – the family dog.

In every state except for Alaska and Illinois, divorce laws view the family dog as property that can be sold along with any other piece of furniture. And because of this, deciding who is going to take Rover can be a real issue.

For some couples, a custodial schedule for the dog ― along with division of assets ― can be arranged before a divorce goes to court.

But of this type of agreement is absent, it can be left to a judge to determine who, if anyone, gets custody of the dog.

Some courts have acknowledged the value of the bond between a human child and a pet and work to preserve it by ordering the pet follow the same custody schedule as the human child. In cases where there are no children, the court usually orders the divorcing couple to sell the dog or have one party “buy” it from the other.

Additionally, there are some movements by animal rights advocates that seek to change the laws so that animals are treated as sentient individuals ― not property ― who are entitled to certain rights of their own. Laws such as this might also open the door to other interpretations, for instance in veterinary malpractice cases, agriculture and the entertainment industry.

For the time being, your best bet is to find an agreement that allows both of you ample belly rubbing time.

Dividing Marital Property

Divorce is scary to face. What can make the process even more overwhelming is determining what your financial situation will look like. In addition to child support and alimony, you will also need to determine how your property will be divided. When it comes to dividing assets during a divorce there are various concerns you will need to deal with when it comes to dividing the marital property.

What State do you Live in?

State laws govern how the marital property will be divided. You will need to check with an attorney to see if you live in an equitable distribution state or a community property state.

What Counts as Property?

Property is anything that can be bought or sold, or anything that has a financial value. This includes: houses, cars, furniture, clothing, bank accounts, businesses, etc. Within that, there are two forms of property when it comes to a marriage: community property and separate property. Community property is anything earned or acquired during the course of the marriage. Separate property belongs to one spouse. States make their own determinations on what counts as separate property. A family law attorney would be able to help you determine what is “separate property” based on your state’s laws.

Other Considerations

There are four other steps that need to be considered when diving marital property:

  1. Identify the assets owned by you and your spouse
  2. Categorize all assets as marital or non-marital property
  3. A value will need to be assigned to the assets
  4. Devise a plan for the division of assets that is in accordance with state laws

No Fault Divorce Laws

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Though most states separate the division of marital property from grounds for divorce due to no fault divorce laws, most states do consider any financial misconduct when it comes to dividing marital property. What this means is if you or your spouse has foolishly spent money then you or your spouse will most likely be penalized when it comes to dividing marital property.

Separate Join Financial Obligations

If you feel the division of marital assets might be a contentious point between you are your spouse, you might want to consider separating financial obligations prior to starting the divorce process. Marital property does not only mean furniture and household items, but also joint credit accounts. Each spouse should have access to a complete set of all financial documents. You’ll also want to close all joint credit card accounts. If you’re not able to fully separate the accounts, draft a formal written agreement outlining the activity on the remaining joint accounts. Freeze any investment assets – this will ensure neither spouse misuses funds until everything has been agreed upon. You might also want to consider changing the title on your home to read “tenants in common” until the final agreement regarding marital property has been decided upon.

In addition to figuring out marital property division, you’ll want to consult with professionals familiar with re-structuring finances after divorces.

The Rest of Your Financial Picture

As you move forward in your new life there will be a number of things you need to change: weekend schedules if you have children, perhaps addresses, maybe even your employer if you have to go back to work or get a higher paying job. There are going to be a number of unanswered questions. You don’t have to answer them all immediately, but chances are, you’ll need to answer them sooner rather than later. Here are some things to consider when it comes to your finances after divorce.

Figure Out a Budget 
You might not have been the spouse in charge of the finances before. Now that you’re on your own, you’re going to have to be. This can be difficult if you’ve never taken care of a checking account. According to certified divorce financial analyst Eva Sachs, the first step toward financial independence is balancing your income with your expenses. So how do you do that? she advises that you sit down and figure out how much money is coming in (this will vary depending on what side of alimony and child support payments you’re on). After you figure this out you’ll need to assess how much of what is coming in is being spent on living expenses.

“Think of it as a spending plan rather than a budget,” says Sachs. “Knowing where your money goes is key, especially after divorce. There will be many new expenses you might not have thought about prior to your divorce; this is a critical time to refrain from spending money you don’t have.”

It might be helpful to write everything down until you have a clear picture. This will give you an up-close look at your financial habits. If you’ve never done this before, this might be a shock. It’s good to know where you can tighten up, or loosen up so that you can budget accordingly.

Rainy Day Fund

Now that you don’t have a spouse to lean on in times of trouble – loss of job, medical emergency, unplanned home expense – you’ll want to create your own rainy day fund. Any unexpected hits to your bank account will need to be covered by you and solely you. Protect yourself, says Sachs. She recommends creating an emergency fund you can continue adding to when you have the chance.

“An emergency fund should equal three to six months of your living expenses,” she says. “If you can swing it, I recommend six months because you’re now single and need an even bigger cushion if you are not able to work or an emergency occurs.”

Make Sure Assets Have Been Transferred

The papers are signed, your divorce is final, you can consider it over. Think again. According to Cheswick, the divorce may be finalized but your work isn’t really complete until you’ve ensured the assets awarded in the settlement have been distributed. Make sure all your t’s are crossed and i’s dotted before you skip along to singledom. Just because things have been agreed to in a settlement, that doesn’t necessarily mean they will automatically happen.

“I can’t tell you the number of people who will contact me months (and unfortunately even years) after their divorce is finalized and there are still outstanding items which have not been resolved,” Cheswick says. “Remember that the agreement is a legally binding contract that you both signed and agreed to uphold. If one party is failing to comply with the terms of the contract then the other party has every right to take steps to ensure their compliance including going back to court to have the agreement enforced.”

pasadena-collaborative-law-divorce-mediation-lawyer

Enlist a Professional

It might seem like another financial burden to use a certified divorce financial planner during your divorce. In addition to legal fees it can feel like yet another financial expense. But a financial planner can save you a lot of headaches while also setting you up for a bright financial future, according to McBurney.

“Most financial mistakes that people make during and after divorce could easily have been avoided if they had sought professional assistance,” she says. “Financial planners can help you figure out how to live within your new financial realities post-divorce and develop strategies for building back your financial security. And tax advisors and CPAs can help you avoid making expensive (and very common!) tax mistakes (related to things like asset transfers, retirement, spousal and child support).”

Retirement

Retirement can be a difficult thing to face during divorce. Chances are you imagined yourself and your spouse sitting on an amazing porch, sipping lemonade, and reminiscing about your children. Just because your spouse is no longer in the equation, that doesn’t mean that you need to abandon your dream retirement life. As Sachs advises, now that the divorce process is almost finalized, look to your future and start to maximize your retirement savings.

“Don’t let divorce stop you from planning for your future,” she says, “Investing in your 401K plan will allow you to save for retirement. You can begin by saving a small amount each week and then let it build slowly or make payroll contributions that match your employer contributions. Don’t stop thinking of the future!”

Just because your future plans have changed, that doesn’t mean it can’t be a bright one. Be smart about your finances and you’ll find the financial freedom you need to help you move on and start a new life.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

As with anything regarding your divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… you should consult a family law attorney. A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Child Custody Child Support Child Visitation Divorce Family Law

Jenna Dewan is Moving Forward

We all knew her as Jenna Dewan Tatum – now she’s minus the “Tatum” and talking about her life after divorce from ex-husband Channing.

Jenna Dewan is Moving Forward

In April, after nearly nine years of marriage, Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum, announced they were separating. In a recent interview, Dewan reveals that her new life has become “a new normal where there is a lot of love.”

The two are figuring out co-parenting their 4-year-old daughter, Everly. “We’re just getting used to it. We’re in a very positive energy together, trying to be the best parents to Everly,” the World of Dance star said. “We support each other.”

“The moves I’m making are completely not related to my marriage or separation, interestingly enough. I was always very happy being a wife. Those feelings [Who are you? What do you want to give to the world? What excites you?] started bubbling up for me, naturally…so I really wanted to expand my life, and myself. And that was my journey, no one else’s,” she said.
“I feel a sense of joy and freedom and excitement, truly, about a new chapter in my life. And I have no attachments to how that’s going to look, or what that’s going to be. I feel really open, and I feel hopeful.”

After Divorce

After getting divorced it can take some time for your life to resettle. What was a crazy tumultuous time will, without a doubt, remain that way for a while. This can be especially true if you have kids and are now part of a co-parenting couple. But as Hollywood has shown us, there are ways that you can move forward after your divorce.

Moving forward after divorce means that every day you will need to purposefully carve out time progress and improve . It’s so easy for life to get sucked into the vacuum of a busy schedule. As Professor Harold Hill once said: “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.”

Get Out of Survival Mode

Following your divorce you might find your life is filled with the nonessential and trivial. Do you check your ex-spouse’s Facebook every day to see if he or she is dating someone new? Do you obsess and get frustrated with every communication that comes from your ex? Are you resentful? How are you channeling all these new feelings? Are you just trying to survive?

It’s time to take your life back into your own hands.

It’s not uncommon to realize that you were living your life on someone else’s terms. But everything is in your hands now. With a lot of work and strong intention you can design your future. You have to realize you are responsible and you must decide to make a change. Here are some first steps to making that giant leap into your new life:

  • Wake up
  • Get yourself in the zone
  • Get yourself moving
  • Eat well
  • Get ready and inspired
  • Get perspective
  • Do something that will move you forward

Get Enough Sleep

Despite the fact that sleep is just as important for life as eating and drinking water, millions of people do not get enough sleep.

According to the National Sleep Foundation (NSF) 40 million Americans suffer from over 70 different sleep disorders. Additionally, 60 percent of adults and 69 percent of children have one or more sleep problems at least a few nights during a week.

It makes sense then that more than 40 percent of adults experience daytime sleepiness that is severe enough to interfere with daily activities at least a few days every month.

Getting the right amount of sleep can help you have a longer life, increased creativity, memory, attention, and focus. It can help to lower stress and your risk for depression.

Bottom line: you need your beauty sleep.

Find Clarity and Abundance

You need to focus on moving forward toward the positive things in your life. What you set your focus on expands. After waking up from a restful night’s sleep, prayer and meditation can help you orient yourself toward the positive.

Focus on what you are grateful for. This could be the fact that you are out of a relationship and marriage that did not serve you. Maybe you’re just grateful for the fact the sun is shining. There are limitless opportunities and possibilities for you. That air of gratefulness will only draw more positive and good to you.

Start every morning by getting yourself into a space of gratitude and clarity.

Get Some Physical Activity

12558697_s

By now you know you need to get your exercise. Still, according to the Center for Disease Control’s National Health Interview Survey, only one-third of American men and women between the ages of 25 to 64 engage in regular physical activity.

Regular exercise is can decrease your chance of depression, anxiety, and stress. It’s also been linked to higher success in people’s careers. Any form of exercise works: the gym, yard work, cleaning. Just get your body moving and every aspect of your life will thrive.

Eat/Drink 30 Grams of Protein

Eating protein first thing decreases cravings for white carbohydrates (the type of carbs that can make you fat. Donald Layman, professor emeritus of nutrition at the University of Illinois, recommends eating or drinking at least 30 grams of protein for breakfast. In The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss, he recommends getting 30 grams of protein 30 minutes after waking up.

Food rich in protein will help you feel fuller for longer because they take longer for the body to digest. Protein also keeps blood-sugar levels steady, and thus prevents hunger spikes.

According to Ferriss, eat at least 40% of your breakfast calories as protein: two to three whole eggs, turkey bacon, organic pork bacon or sausage, or cottage cheese. You can also do a protein shake made with water. If you follow a vegetarian or vegan diet you can eat legumes, greens, nuts, and seeds.

Take A Cold Shower

Every morning motivational speaker and life coach Tony Robbins jumps into a 57-degree Fahrenheit swimming pool.

Cold water immersion has been shown to radically facilitate physical and mental wellness with regular practice. It not only changes your body’s immune, lymphatic, circulatory and digestive systems, but it can also increase weight-loss because it boosts your metabolism.

A study done in 2007 found that cold water triggers mood-boosting neurochemicals that make people feel happier. The study concluded that because of this, taking cold showers routinely can help treat depression symptoms. Often, cold showers are more effective than prescription medications.

Sure, none of us wants to step into a cold shower, but try to think of it like getting into a swimming pool. The first 20 seconds feels terrible, but once you’ve done it, it’s fine.

Those who do this report feeling an increase in willpower, creativity, motivation, and inspiration.

Do You Have a Life Vision? 

If you haven’t written down your short and long-term goals, you should. Just reviewing them a few minutes a day can put your day into perspective. Chances are some things have changed after your divorce. Take some time to re-focus your energy on what you really want to accomplish.

Reading your long-term goals every day will make sure you think about them every day. As you spend your days working towards your goals, they’ll manifest.

There’s a science to achieving goals, which removes the confusion and ambiguity of them. If you stick to a pattern, you can accomplish your goals, regardless of if they are large or small.

Write them down and review them every single day.

Moving Forward

A divorce can shatter your life if you let it. So don’t let it.

Every day you can move forward with these steps. Put a plan in place to succeed. Every step on that plan brings you closer to your dreams. Maybe that means finally having a day where you don’t feel guilty or sad about your divorce. Maybe it’s a day of less resentment. Maybe it’s a day where you focus on getting healthy by preparing a good meal for yourself.

Making small steps every day like the ones outlined above will change your life. And as a result, the universe will respond to you in beautiful ways.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

Whatever your reason is for divorce, you should consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce Spousal Support

What New Tax Laws Mean for Your Divorce

If you’re planning to get divorced this year, you might want to act fast. New tax laws will be taking effect soon.

What New Tax Laws Mean for Your Divorce

The Tax Cuts and Jobs Act will effect divorces that happen after December 31, 2018. Under this new law, a taxpayer will no longer be able to deduct the alimony payments that are made to an ex-spouse. And the alimony recipient will no longer pay taxes on that income.

If you are going to be making alimony payments, or you even have a slight inclination that you might be facing alimony payments, you may want to have your divorce finalized before then.

The need for quickness? Since some states, such as California, require a six-month waiting period for a divorce to be finalized, if your divorce has not been started, you might miss the deadline for the alimony deduction.

“If someone is thinking of filing for divorce this year and they want to take advantage of alimony rules that are in place today, they need to start acting soon, because the clock is running out,” said Megan Gorman, managing partner at Chequers Financial Management.

In California, alimony payments generally last for half the life of the marriage unless the couple has been married for at least 10 years, in which case those payments can last for life.

Financial Tips for Your Divorce

Finances can be hard to manage in general, but if you are going through a divorce, they can feel almost impossible. There are a number of things to consider: will you be receiving alimony or paying it? Child support? What will your “single life budget” be? You’ll want to address these questions as soon as possible. Below we offer some financial tips for your divorce.

Build a Team

“Don’t go it alone,” says Mike Lynch, vice president of strategic markets at Hartford Funds. “Build a team today – a qualified team of legal, tax and investment professionals. Maybe it’s your current investment professional, or you may seek a new one that understands your situation better.”

But not just a team of legal and financial professionals – you’ll also want to build a team of “emotional professionals,” such as friends or a therapist that can help you deal with any emotional pain that you are experiencing.

woman-4

There are some additional things you can do to help your emotional well-being, including:

  • Waking up and getting out of bed each morning
  • Get yourself in the “moving forward” zone
  • Eat well
  • Get inspired
  • Get perspective
  • Do something that will propel you forward instead of just dwelling

These can feel very hard to do following divorce, but if you can place one foot in front of the other, and just try to keep moving forward, it can help a great deal in not feeling overwhelmed by the experience.

Be Civil When Dealing with Your Ex

When it comes to working out aspects of a divorce, including marital property division, alimony, and child custody and visitation, you’re going to want to at least try to be civil with your ex. This might mean working with a relationship therapist that will advise the both of you on how to find a common ground. At the very least, you need to find a way to communicate with each other without having it end in a shouting match. Sometimes email is the best – where people can state the facts. Texts can also work. If you feel comfortable talking with your ex, just remember to record your interactions and what was discussed. Senior vice president of David A. Noyes & Co., Linda M. Conti knows divorce first-hand.  “My parents went through a bitter divorce,” she says. “They separated when I was 3 and the divorce was final when I was 6. I grew up living through ‘what not to do to your kids during a divorce.’ I wish someone could have counseled my parents better through all aspects of the divorce.” You have to remember that staying calm is the best way to resolve the financial aspects of a divorce.

Property Division

Marital property division can be one of the most contentious aspects to be decided during a divorce. State laws govern how the marital property will be divided. You will need to check with an attorney to see if you live in an equitable distribution state or a community property state.

There are four other steps that need to be considered when diving marital property:

  1. Identify the assets owned by you and your spouse
  2. Categorize all assets as marital or non-marital property
  3. A value will need to be assigned to the assets
  4. Devise a plan for the division of assets that is in accordance with state laws

Consider Selling Shared Property

It’s always advised that you sell the primary home instead of having one spouse keep it. Retaining ownership of a home – or the question of who will retain ownership – can often lead to issues. Questions such as: who will take care of maintenance and who will take the utility bills need to be answered. It’s often advised that a couple sells their home and split the proceed of the sale. That way, both sides receive an equal amount.

When it comes to a secondary home, “It’s much more effective to sell the house and distribute the proceeds to the children,” says Ric Edelman, chairman and CEO of Edelman Financial Services. “You get into the issue of fights amongst the kids – issues of maintenance, repairs and upkeep.”

Work with a Divorce Financial Analyst

You might consider working with a divorce financial analyst that can help with your settlement by:

  • Locating assets. This also includes hidden assets.
  • Ensuring information about family finances is accurate and complete.
  • Developing a long-term forecast of how your divorce will affect your finances when it comes to retirement needs, tax liabilities, and benefits.
  • Developing a realistic household budget so that you know where you stand in terms of life insurance, health insurance, and cost-of-living increases.
  • Appraising and/or valuing assets.
  • Preparing financial affidavits that describe your financial and tax implications when it comes to various divorce settlement options.
  • Mediating a financial agreement between you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

Update Your Beneficiaries and Your Will
Emily McBurney, attorney and qualified domestic relations orders (QDRO) expert, advises you update your beneficiary that is listed on your life insurance and retirement accounts. It might not make sense now if your primary beneficiary is your ex spouse.

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“Review all of your accounts and insurance policies and change the beneficiaries. A divorce does not automatically terminate your former spouse’s rights to be the beneficiary on your retirement plans, bank accounts, and life insurance policies –- even though your divorce decree might say that your former spouse has waived all rights to the benefits,” says McBurney. “You will need to formally submit a change of beneficiary form to each financial institution. Otherwise, the benefit will be paid to whoever is listed on their forms at the time of your death — regardless of your divorce.”

You’ll also want to do this for your will.

According to certified divorce financial analyst Donna Cheswick, “Meet with an estate planning attorney to discuss your state’s laws regarding possible updates to your will, power of attorney and advanced directives. You want to be sure that your former spouse is no longer entitled to any distribution in the event of your death. And if your settlement agreement requires one party to maintain life insurance on the other, then there needs to be a method in place to be sure this is actually occurring. Just because the former spouse says they will do something, doesn’t mean that they are following through.”

Have a “Single” Financial Plan

When you were married, chances are you had a second income coming in to help with things like child care, the mortgage, and other utilities. You might now be receiving or paying spousal support or child support. You also may not be receiving any kind of support. Whatever your new financial picture is, you’ll need to know how to budget according to your new income amount. Putting this together before entering the divorce process will help you understand your needs following the divorce so you can come to a settlement that works.

Make sure you plan for college tuition, child care, children’s lessons, sports and activities, and your own retirement, taxes, transportation and housing. It’s hard to plan for the unknown future, but try to get an idea of what your 1 year, 5 year, and 10 year financial needs will be.

Financial Future

Considering your financial situation after your divorce can feel daunting and overwhelming, but if you take the right steps, you can be sure to set yourself up for financial freedom. It might take some tweaks but consider the fact that you are now completely in charge and able to make your own decisions regarding how your money will be spent. Embrace it, and embrace the freedom you now have.

A Family Law Attorney

When it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

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Divorce Family Law

Will Smith Addresses Divorce Rumors

Will Smith is confronting the divorce rumors about him and wife Jada in a new song. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air actor recently shared a snippet of one of his new tracks, “To the Clique,” in which he raps about his personal life.

Will Smith Addresses Divorce Rumors

“Stop the divorce rumors and mind your damn business,” Smith, 49, says in the song. He and wife Jada, 46, have dealt with gossip about their relationship status throughout the entirety of their 20-year-old marriage. They do not comment on the reports often, though.

In “The Clique,” Smith praises his family: “The real-life Incredibles, last name Smith. Jada, Jaden, Willow, Trey — ya’ll ain’t f–king with my clique.”

As Smith recently wrote on his Facebook page: “Under normal circumstances, I don’t usually respond to foolishness (Because it’s contagious),” the Bright actor wrote on Facebook at the time. “But, so many people have extended me their ‘deepest condolences’ that I figured — ‘What the hell… I can be foolish, too!’ So, in the interest of redundant, repetitious, over & over-again-ness… Jada and I are… NOT GETTING A DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He added: “I promise you all — if I ever decide to divorce my Queen — I SWEAR I’ll tell you myself!”

 

There’s a common thought out there that there are things you can do to divorce-proof your marriage. Below we share these things, as well as what to do should you not be able to divorce-proof your marriage.

Can You Divorce-Proof Your Marriage?

Allow Some Freedom

We all need a little space from time-to-time. That means having the freedom to have some space. If you’re constantly making your spouse “ask for permission,” you’re going to feel like a parent, not a partner.

Agree to Disagree

You’re not going to win every battle and sometimes you’re not going to see eye-to-eye on everything.

Learn Each Other’s Fighting Styles

You might get emotional, he might stay super calm. Learn how each other comes at an argument and develop a strategy for how you want to tackle arguments.

Dress Up for Each Other

Married life can sometimes transition to sweatpants on the couch life. Remind each other of just why you fell in love with each other – there was probably at least some form of attraction there.

Make Sure You’re on the Same Page When it Comes to Children

Expect the Lows

Every relationship has its ups and downs. It’s all about how you deal with both ends of the spectrum.

If You Decide to Divorce, Consider Mediation

The mediation process allows for negotiation, during which everyone involved works toward an outcome that feels fair to both parties. This shared and agreed to outcome has become a popular option in the U.S. over the years, and has helped to settle 50-80% of divorce cases. Working through a divorce with a mediator allows couples to be less defensive and more informed about both sides. Mediators help to aid the process by offering advice and other alternate solutions that a couple may not have considered. Also, the process of mediation tends to take half the amount of time a divorce that needs to go to court does. On average couples spend at least 50% of the cost of an average divorce because of that decrease in the amount of time. This usually happens because you will not need to pay the legal fees of going to court and working with a judge as is usually needed for a traditional court proceeding.

Working Towards an Agreement

For a mediation process to work, both parties need to be focused on coming to an agreement. If the parties cannot agree to that, chances are it won’t work. A couple will then need to pursue a traditional court process. But mediation presents a positive environment for couples that want to avoid the combative and litigious process that often comes with going to family law court.

Preparing for Your Mediation

You and your spouse have decided that you want to avoid as much conflict as possible. You’ve both agreed to act like mature adults when it comes to ending your marriage with mediation. You have a mediation date set. Now you need to know what else to expect as you enter your mediation session.

Financial Documents

Before your first mediation session, make a list of all the assets you have. This list should include all financial information you have about: bank accounts, mutual funds, retirement funds, real estate, vehicles, timeshares, businesses, and stock. You’ll also need to prepare a list your debts including monthly credit payment, mortgage and home equity payments, private loans, and car loans. Make sure you have all the information, or at least as much as possible. Ensure the information is organized and in a form that will allow the mediator to be able to clearly review it during the session.

Leave Your Emotions at the Door

Mediation is meant to be a negotiation process, not one in which you start crying or screaming at your soon to be ex. Getting emotional will not allow you the clear head you need for the mediation process. This is not the time to “get back” at your ex-spouse. This is the time to negotiate, and not argue, so you can come to a final agreement. Remember the end goal and what you are trying to accomplish. You also need to be realistic. Chances are you will not walk away having received everything you wanted. Being able to look forward and remember that will help you stay out of the nit-picky weeds of settling a divorce agreement. Still, be forthright about what you want.

Scheduled Sessions

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You, your spouse, and your mediator team will put together a series of scheduled sessions, during which you will all meet as a large group. The first session will be for disclosing all the “hard facts” about the marriage: joint and individual finances (bank accounts, debts, investments, retirement accounts and pensions) and assets (real estate, cars, other vehicles). Depending on how much you are able to get through in that meeting, you will also discuss the “soft” facts. This is the crucial portions of a marriage: family background and history; fears and concerns; issues regarding children, and other non-financial matters.

Once all the “facts” are on the table, the mediator or mediators help the parties identify a range of possible solutions. These solutions will take everything into consideration a well as what each party (and any children involved) will need to survive after the divorce.

The next step is the “solutions phase.” During this time, the spouses speak directly to each other about various options  that have been presented and discuss whether or not those options do or do not meet their concerns. During this time, if it seems the couple is able to communicate without getting emotional or upset, the mediator keeps quiet. But if a couple gets stumped,, or if emotions and tempers flare, the mediator can choose to step in to keep them on task or provide a suggestion the couple might not have thought of. The couple is encouraged to do most of the leg-work in figuring out how to solve the problems. A mediator’s goal and role is to help identify options, keep discussions on track, minimize unproductive or hostile discussion, and to create and maintain a forward-moving momentum.

During the process the people that have the facts and are best equipped to make decisions – the people in the marriage – have control.

Reaching an Agreement

During the course of the mediation, or when the mediation is completed, a detailed written divorce agreement is drafted. This written agreement, when finalized and signed, is what you have been working towards during the divorce process. A judge will review this agreement in court. You will need to appear at the final divorce hearing so the judge can review the written agreement. In all successfully mediated cases, the court hearing is an “uncontested hearing” during which a couple presents its agreement to the judge and asks the judge to accept it. After that the divorce is final. It then becomes “the law” between the parties after the divorce. It is now legal and binding, just as it would be if the parties had reached an agreement through the standard process of hiring separate attorneys to represent each of them.

You will need to adhere to the provisions laid out in the divorce agreement regarding child custody and visitation, child support, marital property division, and alimony.

Mediation Just for Friends?

Mediation is also not a process that only works for couples that are “still friends.” A lot of couples that go through the mediation process do not get along but are able to because of the help of a neutral third-party mediator. This form of communication does, however, help open up lines of communications while allowing for misunderstandings to get cleared up. Both spouses are encouraged to move forward toward a solution. Still, it’s important for couples to remember that the solution is the goal, rather than opening up old arguments. While you might run into arguments during the session (that’s totally normal) you should not go into the session with plans of reviewing and “solving” old arguments. That is not the purpose of the mediation process. You are there to work towards one goal: a divorce agreement that you both agree to.

When Mediation Doesn’t Work

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Often times mediation will not be the answer to your divorce. Chances are that if a couple was not able to get along during the marriage, there are reasons that mediation will not work. If you have met with a mediator and your spouse and are still not able to come to a decision regarding aspects of your marriage, chances are you will need to go the route of a formal divorce process. Do not consider that a failure! Divorce is difficult for everyone, regardless of the process.

A Family Law Attorney

There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce. You and your spouse will need to come to an agreement that settles every aspect of your marriage.  Child support, spousal support, marital property division can all be agreed to through the process of mediation. Working with a skilled mediation attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

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