Category: Divorce

Divorce Law LA blog posts about Divorce.

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Divorce Family Law

The Truth About the Divorce Rate

It’s a staggering statistic – half of all marriages end in divorce — but is it really true?

The Truth About the Divorce Rate

We’ve heard for years that 50% of marriages end in divorce, but the truth is divorce rates are falling, not rising. In fact, according to researchers, the rate of divorce in the U.S. actually peaked at about 40% around 1980. And it’s been declining ever since.

Data from the National Survey of Family Growth determined the probability of a first marriage lasting at least a decade was 68% for women and 70% for men between 2006 and 2010. The probability that they would make it 20 years was 52% for women and 56% for men.

So what’s with the whole 50% thing? The original claim was made in a 1980 census report that predicted half of the couples married between 1976 and 1977 would eventually end up divorced and that rates would only increase from there.

The Steps of the Divorce Process

Whatever your reason for considering divorce, there are set steps you will need to take to get divorced. Hence, we bring you a “how-to” for getting divorced.

Step 1: Decide How to Proceed18640254_s

How you begin your divorce will be dependent on the particulars of your marriage and your relationship. A divorce of a marriage where the spouses have been married for a short period of time, have no children, and little property or debts is typically less involved than a divorce where the couple has been married for a long period of time, shares minor children, or where there is significant property or debt to be divided. If both parties are seeking the divorce, the process will most likely be easier, versus a situation where one spouse is contesting the divorce.  You will need to take a look at your specific situation in order to best gauge how you want to proceed.

Step 2: The Divorce Petition 

To start the divorce process one of the spouses must file a divorce petition. Even if both spouses are in agreement, one of them must file a petition that states the grounds of the divorce with the court asking for the divorce. Grounds for the divorce vary from state to state. California is a no-fault state, meaning no fault is placed on either party regardless of infidelity, etc…  But all jurisdictions allow for some type of no-fault grounds such as “irreconcilable differences.” Some states will consider fault grounds for divorce, such as adultery or abandonment. A family law attorney will be able to advise you your state specific laws regarding grounds for divorce

Step 3: Temporary Orders 

If one spouse is seeking to receive financial support (as alimony) or custody of children, that spouse will need to ask the court for temporary orders for that support and custody. This temporary order is usually granted within a few days of the initial petition and will remain in effect until the full divorce court hearing. If the party seeking the temporary order is the same party who is filing the divorce petition, it’s advised that they file both the divorce petition and the temporary order at the same time. If you are not the party that filed the divorce petition, but are looking for support or child custody, you should file your request for that support as soon as possible.

Step 4: Proof of Service and Responding

Once a spouse files for divorce he or she also needs to file for a proof of service of process. This document proves that a copy of the divorce petition was given to the other party. Your family law attorney can help ensure this is done, or you can work with a process server. If both spouses have agreed to divorce, it’s usually the spouse that files the divorce that arranges for the the  service of process to the other party’s attorney.

When the service of process is received, that spouse needs to file a response to the divorce petition. In states where grounds for divorce can be filed, this response is where to address or dispute those grounds for divorce. Also, if the spouse receiving the petition has any disagreement with the put forth property division, support, custody terms, or any other issue, this should be added to the response.

Step 5: Negotiating

When two spouses are not in agreement on child custody and visitation, child support, property division and any spousal support, they will need to find a way to negotiate the terms of their divorce. Disagreeing spouses might consider working with a meditation lawyer, as it is in their best interest to work out as much as possible out of court. This will help to cut down on legal fees and time spent arguing. The negotiation process is the hardest part of the divorce process. As we all know from public divorce disputes, the negotiations can sometimes take years if a couple is not able to come to an agreement.

Step 6: Order of Dissolution

Once everything is decided upon an order of dissolution is created that outlines out how the property and debts are to be divided, what child custody and visitation schedule is, what support payments (spousal and child) need to be paid, and any other aspects that have been agreed on. If the spouses are able to negotiate their own resolution to all of these aspects, their lawyers will draft the order of dissolution and submit it to the court. If the Order of Dissolution complies with legal requirements and both parties entered into it knowingly and willingly and can attest to it, then the judge approves it. At this point, the divorce is finalized.

Moving Forward After Divorce

There are some pointers we can offer once you begin to move forward from your divorce.

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Perspective
Yup, it’s true, hindsight is 20/20. You have to walk through something, get a far way ahead of it, and only then can you look back and see just how important that process was. At that point you can see the beginning, the middle, and the end, and how that end is so clear and empty of emotional and clutter. Take this new clarity and run with it. That perspective can give you amazing information you need to change your own behaviors and to improve your future relationships.

Gratitude After Divorce

After you lose everything, you take nothing for granted. Divorce can be like losing everything:  past memories, your present marriage, and future dreams. Let that be your determination to survive. But this is also a time to lean on friends and family that stepped up and stood by. They will lift you up, even when you can’t lift yourself. Be grateful for them, and try to show them that you are. If not now, then try to later. Sometimes the Thanksgiving holiday makes this process of showing gratitude easier – it’s a whole holiday built around being thankful. Try to focus on that aspect of the holiday, rather than on what you might no longer have. 

Empathy
When you have felt pain, you honor and respect that pain in others. Divorce can make you more empathetic towards people facing any form of loss. You will move towards acceptance and forgiveness of your situation and your ex. And with this movement will come the ability to see things from other people’s viewpoints, making you a better friend, and a better person to be in a relationship with (down the line, when you are ready for one).

Divorce wipes away the ego that believes it’s shameful to ask for help. After you admonish this, you will be able to accept help for yourself, and then be able to offer help to others who are in need.

Responsibility
It’s easy to blame your ex, to place the responsibility for the divorce in his or her hands. We also might realize that all too often we have looked to them to provide happiness or support for making decisions. This interdependency ends with divorce. It’s good to be interdependent, but divorce requires that you learn to be independent. You’re going to be steering this ship on your own, and maybe steering it through the holidays on your own. You’re going to have to be responsible for your own things now: happiness, support, etc. Let this empower you though rather than make you feel lost or scared. You’re completely in control now. You can change. It’s your life now.

Humility

Divorce teaches us that no matter how much we want something to be true, we can’t force it into being. All those choice you made have consequences. And maybe now you are being forced to see them. Sure, you might have said “divorce will never happen to me,” but now it has. You’re going to have to admit that it can happen to anyone. Let this “slap” of reality force you to embrace acceptance while also redefining expectations. You’re not immune to anything.

Awareness
Divorce can be a wake-up call. Often times people realize they were living in a kind of “auto-pilot” mode when they said their “I dos.” The clarity and awareness you have after saying your “I Un-dos” might provide you with a sense of awareness that wasn’t there before. A lot of people turn to meditation and yoga during the divorce process because it settles the mind to allow for awareness. This mindfulness and consciousness will be helpful moving forward in your new life.

Ingenuity
Divorce is also a way to test your abilities… all of them. Your negotiating skills, your financial skills, your balanced budgeting skills, co-parenting abilities. You are the only problem solver now. You will need to work out how to afford your rent on a portion of the budget you once had. You will also need to learn how to co-parent, potentially with an ex you hate (for now). But the more you are placed in these new positions, the better you will become at those tasks.

Wisdom from Divorce
Divorce can be an opportunity for reflection and analysis. You are now raw and ready to learn new ways of doing things, in addition to just learning new ways to move on and cope.

Working with A Family Law Attorney

When it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Divorce Family Law

Signs Your Marriage is Ending

While no one wants their marriage to end in divorce, we can be a little open to the warning signs that our marriage is in trouble. Perhaps you already feel some of these, or perhaps you’ve been turning a blind eye to them for a while. Regardless of what direction your marriage is headed in, you’ll want to consult with a family law attorney if you are considering divorce.

Signs Your Marriage is Ending

You fantasize about a life without your spouse.
Are you daydreaming about how much better life would be without your husband? While this isn’t unusual if it’s something that you do often and with joy, you might want to consider working with a marital therapist.

You’ll want to get down to the bottom of these feelings. What’s causing you to yearn for the single life? It might be time to have an open conversation with your spouse about the aspects you might be longing for.

More bad than good.
If there’s more “bad” than “good” and you aren’t figuring out ways to upset that balance, you might want to work with a trained professional before the bad really starts to outweigh the good.

You aren’t sharing your thoughts and feelings with your spouse. 
While you don’t need to share every thought or feeling, you need to share when you are feeling unhappy. It’s the only way to address the issue. Communication is key to a healthy marriage, and you will both need to be aware of any problems for you to be able to fix them.

You engage in negative defense mechanisms.
Do you get overly defensive when your spouse expresses his or her concern? Do you dismiss your spouse’s needs?  Negative defense mechanisms only help to build more problems and solve nothing.

You feel alone.
Do you feel you are responsible for solving all your problems? If so, feeling as if you are failing can only help contribute to the feelings of a failed or failing marriage. It takes two to make problems and two to solve problems.

Lacking sexual intimacy.
A marriage that lacks sexual intimacy and affection can often end up in divorce, or just being a marriage of convenience.

The Steps of the Divorce Process

Whatever your reason for considering divorce, there are set steps you will need to take to get divorced. Hence, we bring you a “how-to” for getting divorced.

Step 1: Decide How to Proceed18640254_s

How you begin your divorce will be dependent on the particulars of your marriage and your relationship. A divorce of a marriage where the spouses have been married for a short period of time, have no children, and little property or debts is typically less involved than a divorce where the couple has been married for a long period of time, shares minor children, or where there is significant property or debt to be divided. If both parties are seeking the divorce, the process will most likely be easier, versus a situation where one spouse is contesting the divorce.  You will need to take a look at your specific situation in order to best gauge how you want to proceed.

Step 2: The Divorce Petition 

To start the divorce process one of the spouses must file a divorce petition. Even if both spouses are in agreement, one of them must file a petition that states the grounds of the divorce with the court asking for the divorce. Grounds for the divorce vary from state to state. California is a no-fault state, meaning no fault is placed on either party regardless of infidelity, etc…  But all jurisdictions allow for some type of no-fault grounds such as “irreconcilable differences.” Some states will consider fault grounds for divorce, such as adultery or abandonment. A family law attorney will be able to advise you your state specific laws regarding grounds for divorce

Step 3: Temporary Orders 

If one spouse is seeking to receive financial support (as alimony) or custody of children, that spouse will need to ask the court for temporary orders for that support and custody. This temporary order is usually granted within a few days of the initial petition and will remain in effect until the full divorce court hearing. If the party seeking the temporary order is the same party who is filing the divorce petition, it’s advised that they file both the divorce petition and the temporary order at the same time. If you are not the party that filed the divorce petition, but are looking for support or child custody, you should file your request for that support as soon as possible.

Step 4: Proof of Service and Responding

Once a spouse files for divorce he or she also needs to file for a proof of service of process. This document proves that a copy of the divorce petition was given to the other party. Your family law attorney can help ensure this is done, or you can work with a process server. If both spouses have agreed to divorce, it’s usually the spouse that files the divorce that arranges for the the  service of process to the other party’s attorney.

When the service of process is received, that spouse needs to file a response to the divorce petition. In states where grounds for divorce can be filed, this response is where to address or dispute those grounds for divorce. Also, if the spouse receiving the petition has any disagreement with the put forth property division, support, custody terms, or any other issue, this should be added to the response.

Step 5: Negotiating

When two spouses are not in agreement on child custody and visitation, child support, property division and any spousal support, they will need to find a way to negotiate the terms of their divorce. Disagreeing spouses might consider working with a meditation lawyer, as it is in their best interest to work out as much as possible out of court. This will help to cut down on legal fees and time spent arguing. The negotiation process is the hardest part of the divorce process. As we all know from public divorce disputes, the negotiations can sometimes take years if a couple is not able to come to an agreement.

Step 6: Order of Dissolution

Once everything is decided upon an order of dissolution is created that outlines out how the property and debts are to be divided, what child custody and visitation schedule is, what support payments (spousal and child) need to be paid, and any other aspects that have been agreed on. If the spouses are able to negotiate their own resolution to all of these aspects, their lawyers will draft the order of dissolution and submit it to the court. If the Order of Dissolution complies with legal requirements and both parties entered into it knowingly and willingly and can attest to it, then the judge approves it. At this point, the divorce is finalized.

Final Step: Move Forward

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A divorce can shatter your life if you let it. So don’t let it.

Every day you can move forward with a few small steps and a plan to succeed. Making small steps every day like the ones outlined below will change your post-divorce life.

Get Out of Survival Mode

 Are you just trying to survive?

It’s time to take your life back into your own hands. Here are some first steps to making that giant leap into your new life:

  • Wake up
  • Get yourself in the zone
  • Get yourself moving
  • Eat well
  • Get ready and inspired
  • Get perspective
  • Do something that will move you forward

Get Enough Sleep

Getting the right amount of sleep can help you have a longer life, increased creativity, memory, attention, and focus. It can help to lower stress and your risk for depression.

Find Clarity and Abundance

You need to focus on moving forward toward the positive things in your life. What you set your focus on expands. After waking up from a restful night’s sleep, prayer and meditation can help you orient yourself toward the positive.

Get Some Physical Activity

Regular exercise is can decrease your chance of depression, anxiety, and stress. It’s also been linked to higher success in people’s careers. Any form of exercise works: the gym, yard work, cleaning. Just get your body moving and every aspect of your life will thrive.

Eat/Drink 30 Grams of Protein

Eating protein first thing decreases cravings for white carbohydrates (the type of carbs that can make you fat. Food rich in protein will help you feel fuller for longer because they take longer for the body to digest. Protein also keeps blood-sugar levels steady, and thus prevents hunger spikes.

Take A Cold Shower

Cold water immersion has been shown to radically facilitate physical and mental wellness with regular practice. It not only changes your body’s immune, lymphatic, circulatory and digestive systems, but it can also increase weight-loss because it boosts your metabolism.

Those who do this report feeling an increase in willpower, creativity, motivation, and inspiration.

Listen to or Read Uplifting Content

Seek to learn and be educated. Some of the world’s most successful people read at least one book per week. You don’t eve have to read – you can listen to an audiobook. Even 15-30 minutes a morning of uplifting and instructive information can change you. Just think about how much that will amount to over time. And just consider the amount of knowledge and life-perspective  you will have gained.

Get Some Goals

Reviewing your goals  a few minutes a day can put your day into perspective. Chances are some things have changed after your divorce. Take some time to re-focus your energy on what you really want to accomplish.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

Whatever your reason is for divorce, you should consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Child Custody Child Support Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law

Cuba Gooding Jr. Files for Divorce Following Separation

Cuba Gooding Jr., star of The People v. O.J. Simpson has filed for divorce from his wife Sara Kapfer. The two were married for 22 years.

Cuba Gooding Jr. Files for Divorce

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Sara filed for legal separation in August of 2014. Now, according to court documents, Cuba has officially filed for divorce. Cuba has requested joint legal and physical custody of their 10-year-old daughter and is also willing to give spousal support to Sara.

According to court docs, the high-school sweethearts were married on March 13, 1994, but legally separated on April 16, 2014.

The Jerry McGuire star once gushed about his wife during an appearance on The View.”I’m lucky,” he shared. “Oh I wanna kill her sometimes and she puts up with me.”
Following the separation, Cuba tried to provide some insight on The Steve Harvey Show, for those wondering why the couple stayed close following the separation filing.  “Officially I’m still married, it’s just you know how some marriages go. Sometimes you take a break or two. All I’m saying is my life is what it is right now,” he said. “I took her to see a movie the other day. We’ve got kids man, we’ve got to keep this together.”

Legal Separation

While divorce might seem like the only option, remember that legal separation is also available. Legal separation allows couples to live apart and take a “break” from each other, while also ensuring that each spouse’s legal rights are protected via a legal separation agreement. Legal separations can also be called: “judicial separation”, “separate maintenance”, “divorce a mensa et thoro“, or “divorce from bed-and-board.” All these terms refer to the legal process by which a married couple formalizes a de facto separation while remaining legally married.

Formal Legal Separation Agreement

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It’s always advised that you sign a formal legal separation agreement. This agreement outlines child support and visitation, property division, and any other aspect of a marriage.  An attorney will be able to prepare this legal and binding document. This will offer you legal protection should your spouse fail to live up to his or her obligations and will also hold up in court.

The following should be included in the legal separation agreement:

Spousal Support

Benefits – With legal separation spouses are able to retain certain benefits that were available during the marriage, such as health insurance.

Home Residency – If a couple shares a home, it should be decided at this time what will happen to the residency during the separation. The agreement should include information regarding who is able to live in the home, who is responsible for maintaining the home, and who is financially handling the home.

Joint Accounts – A legal separation agreement outlines who has access to those joint accounts such as joint checking, savings, and credit accounts. It’s often advised to close or freeze these accounts during the separation. Each spouse will then need to obtain their own personal accounts.

Protection from Acquired Debt – A legal separation agreement will shield you from being responsible for debt acquired during the time of the legal separation.

Why Pursue Legal Separation?

There are advantages with legal separation, including:

  • Spouses are able to maintain benefits such as a spouse’s health care plan or military benefits.
  • Staying legally married for 10 years allows couples certain social security benefits.
  • The separation period allows for a “cool off time,” during which parties can work to resolve their differences. Couples can then decide to either pursue a divorce or resume the marriage.
  • In some religions divorce is not allowed or recognized. Legal separation allows these religious couples to live separate lives while still remaining married and true their faith.
  • Legal separation can be used to solve immediate problems in couples who are uncertain about moving forward with divorce.

Steps to Follow for Legal Separation

Here are the steps you will take to acquire a legal separation:

  • Consider working with a family law attorney that can advise you on all the necessary steps of your legal separation.
  • You and your spouse will need to decide on grounds for the separation
  • Fill out a Form FL-100 Petition. This form includes options for divorce (dissolution of marriage) or legal separation.
  • If you have children under 18, you will need to complete Form FL-105/GC-120 which provides information to the court regarding children.
  • File Form FL-100 at your local county court. Pay any necessary fees. If you receive public benefits or have low income, you might be eligible for a fee waiver.
  • Serve your spouse with a copy of the court papers if they were not filed together. There will need to be proof of the serving, which can be done through various means such as a process server. A family law attorney can advise you on how to obtain this proof.

Still Considering Divorce?

If following your legal separation you and your spouse decide to move forward with a divorce, you will still need to file a divorce petition and go through the formal divorce process. Since a legal separation agreement has already been created and you mutually agree all aspects of your marriage, chances are you will be able to file an uncontested divorce. If there are still unresolved issues, you might decide you need a court’s help to come to a decision. It’s important to remember though that just because you are legally separated, that does not mean you are officially divorced. A judge will need to sign off on the final divorce papers and agreement before you can declare yourself “single.”

Working with a Divorce Attorney

It’s always advised that you consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Child Custody Child Support Child Visitation Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law Mediation Modification to Family Court Orders Move Aways (Child Relocation) Paternity

Learning How to Co-Parent

Children, Sports, and the Increasing Number of Brain Injuries

It’s easy to do.  You get a text message from your ex-spouse about not wanting to give up “their time” with the children you share to accommodate for a scheduling issue that you’ve run into. So you fire back a snarky text that sets off World War 3.

And then your son approaches you with: “I saw the texts you sent.”

It’s hard to remember that “parenting” is the main portion of “co-parenting” because it’s so easy to get caught up in the “co” portion.

Divorce

Divorce is not easy, and it often brings out the worst in us. We become the 14 year old girl or boy obsessing about every little thing. This can be especially true if there is any residual hurt due to a person leaving, or cheating, or falling out of love. Yes, it hurts, and it sucks, but whatever the reason for your divorce, it is never a good enough excuse to pull your kids along through the hurtful ride of roller-coaster emotions.

The key to establishing a good co-parenting relationship is to remember that your kids are part you and part your ex-spouse. And hopefully this realization will help you manage those angry, frustrated, and sad emotions.

Managing Emotions

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“The biggest obstacles to successful co-parenting are emotions,” says Alisa Peskin-Shepherd, principal of Transitions Legal, a family law practice that specializes in mediative divorce. “Emotional obstacles are usually anger, resentment and jealousy. Often parents have a hard time separating those feelings toward their former spouse from their attempt to focus on their children.”

The idea of focusing on your children might seem obvious, but that can be really difficult when you receive that text from your ex that makes you want to throw your phone directly into their face. There are some tips that can help though! Here are some tips from parents who have actually found the magic combination to a successful (meaning they don’t completely resent each other) co-parenting situation.

Building a Successful Co-Parenting Situation

Give Yourself a  ‘Timeout’

“Take time to reflect on how your behavior and your decisions are affecting your child,” says Peskin-Shepherd. “Especially where there is constant disagreement, try to accept that you are not going to change the other person and find a way to make something work without being dependent on the other parent’s response.”

If you are not able to give yourself a timeout, and find that you are still stewing about conversing with your ex, consult a “co-parenting coordinator,” attorney or counselor – with or without your ex-spouse. This objective third party can be a great sounding board for ironing out your co-parenting relationship.

“Our expectations that two people who didn’t get along when they are married will suddenly be able to co-parent without some help is not reasonable,” Peskin-Shepherd says.

According to Alison Willet, a Birmingham resident and psychologist who has worked with high-conflict divorce, it is crucial for ex-spouses to heal fully from the pain that stems from their divorce if they plan to find a way to co-parent effectively.

The mother of three daughters and two step-daughters goes on to say, “People going through divorce need to take the necessary time to grieve the end of this major relationship and remember that at one time, they loved or cared about the other parent. When parents are psychologically intact, it will be easier for them to put the needs of their children first.”

Play to Your Ex’s Strengths (This Might Be Very Difficult)

By now you know what your ex is good and and what they’re not so good at. So play fair when it comes to your kids and your ex’s abilities.

“You probably know your ex-spouse better than anyone else,” says Chris Tucker, father of Finn, 9, and Simon, 7, and step-dad to Lucas, 6. “Play to those strengths – not in a manipulative way, but in a spirit of making the best use of one another’s talents.”

Tucker’s situation is: he has his boys two-thirds of the year; their mother visits monthly from Virginia. She also takes them over school breaks and summer. Tucker, his wife, his ex-wife, and her husband all work as a unit to parent the children.

“We like to think of ourselves – Colleen, her husband, my wife and I – as members of a family ecosystem,” says Tucker. “This means that everyone involved is invested in and accountable for raising our kids, and it goes a long way in building trust and mutual respect.”

Commit to Cooperating

This can be the hardest part of a co-parenting relationship – cooperating.

According to mother Shaindle Braunstein-Cohen, “Effective co-parenting does not require friendship, but it does require cooperation.”

“My ex and I get along when we have contact, but we never have contact outside of our son,” she says. “When my son wanted to show his dad his new room in our new home, he did. Successful co-parenting involves only one thing: loving your child more than you hate your ex.”

When her ex moved out-of-state, Braunstein-Cohen gained full custody of her 14-year-old Seth.  When he wants to see his dad or vice versa, both her and Seth’s father to make it happen. “Sure, that meant I had many holidays without him, but it wasn’t about me,” she says.

You can’t keep living in the past either.

“The kids can become an obsession, a club to beat your ex over the head with,” says Braunstein-Cohen. “You can’t live in the past, and you also can’t live in the future. Just live in the now. The moment is here; it’s what you’ve got. Make the best of it.”

IndependantContractorAgreement

Get it in Writing

Peskin-Shepherd advises parents to put everything in writing. That means that all plans and agreements should be kindly communicated to the other parent. This should be part of your working situation. If it’s in writing, it is harder for one person to argue about the agreed arrangement. This should be done for even the smallest things if you know that there is potential for arguments later down the road. This is especially necessary for vacation time and scheduling, agreements regarding financial decisions, and paying for child’s needs. A majority of these things will be part of your child custody agreement, but anything that comes up out side of that should also be agreed to in writing.

Vacation time and money issues are common post-divorce problems, says Peskin-Shepherd. “Parents can agree on how to pay for extracurricular activities, summer camps, boots and winter coats,” she says. “Have a mindset of cooperation to avoid problems. Likely the compromise your ex-spouse is asking of you today will be the one you need tomorrow.”

Set High Intentions

Keely Henry dealt with an ugly divorce. She did not want it to affect her son, Sullivan, 8. “I knew I could not let this ugly experience lead our lives,” she says. “I was going to have to communicate with my ex over the course of our son’s life. The only thing to do was set the ideal on a higher notion, above emotional distress.”

Because of that, Henry and her ex decided to celebrate holidays and birthdays with Sully together, which means including Henry’s new life partner and her ex’s partner, the woman that her husband left her for. “We all collaborate on my son’s parenting, with his dad and I as the final sayers,” she says. “It really is simple. Set the goal for the higher, not the lower.”

Let Go of Wanting Control

Even thirteen years after their divorce, Jodi Rubin and her ex-husband disagree about the same things they did not agree about when they were married. But they’ve been able to reach a place of mutual respect that allows them to co-parent their three children, Jordan, 19, Paige, 15, and Ethan, 13.

“It’s not about you,” says Rubin. “Instead of worrying about each other, worry about the kids. It’s a parent’s job to turn their children into productive and emotionally healthy adults, and you can’t do that if you’re focused on each other.”

wistful

Silence your Support System

Your friends and family will want to defend you, but there’s nothing helpful about your mother sending your ex a nasty email. The support system should remain impartial, and if they’re not, you need to intervene.

“There were times I had to check my mom as she ranted and raved about what went down,” Henry says. “Or girlfriends – awesome friends who had not been married or had children – not understanding how I could handle some of the things the way I did. There were moments I could hardly do anything but scream and cry – and I did, but on my own watch. There will be tough times. You can get something positive from them.”

Keep Your Ego in Check

It goes without saying that you’re going to doubt your parenting ability and fear that your children will want to be with the other parent. But you have to resist the urge.

“It’s easy to see your ex-spouse as a threat,” says Tucker. “Remind yourself that your ex is also your children’s parent and would also step in front of a bus for them. Trust that they also have your children’s best interests at heart.”

Says Braunstein-Cohen, “Be totally honest with yourself. Everyone has ego involved; they want their child to know they were not at fault, that they are a better parent. Let it go and really think about what makes your kids happy.

“Obviously you don’t agree or sometimes even like each other very much – that’s why you got divorced,” she adds. “Get over it.”

A Family Law Attorney

But when it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Child Custody Child Support Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce Marital Property Division Spousal Support

The Financial Side of Divorce

Divorce is difficult. You are both figuring out what your new lives will be once the divorce agreement is signed. One of the hardest aspects to resolve during divorce is the finances.

The Financial Side of Divorce

Mark Zandi, a chief economist at Moody’s Analytics, who has researched divorce and corresponding demographic trends has found, “Divorce generally results in a significant financial setback for all those involved.”

What used to feel like a joint effort between two people can turn into an all out war. Because of the potential to start World War III, there are things that you can do to prepare yourself for at least the financial aspect of the end of your marriage. Careful planning in advance can help you avoid getting to the battlegrounds unarmed.

Preparing Your Finances for Divorce

The first thing you want to do is create an inventory of all of your assets. This includes your debts too. You need to understand your families assets and liabilities. Have copies or at least access to tax returns, statements from all accounts, household bills and any other important records. Additionally, put together a list of valuable property that includes shared real estate, collectibles, furniture, and antiques or pieces of artwork.

You will want to put everything in writing, in a qualified domestic relations order, or QDRO. This is a legal document that spells out how you and your spouse have decided to divide certain retirement assets such as 401(k) accounts, says Page Harty, a financial planner at wealth-management firm SignatureFD.

It’s crucial that you do not overlook anything valuable. This could cost you significant amounts of money when it comes time to divide marital assets. There are often cases when a spouse will hide an asset from the other in an attempt to get more money or retain ownership of something they hold valuable. Sometimes this cannot be avoided, but sitting down, finding a clear head, and making a list of every asset you are aware of can help prevent this from happening to you (unless of course your spouse has never made you aware of the asset he or she is hiding).

Your shared debts are important too. Just because the marriage is ending, that does not mean that the debt will just go away. Try to pay these debts off before the divorce is finalized. If that’s not possible, make sure you have a clear agreement on which spouse will pay which debt.

house

 

The House

It’s tempting to want to keep the house. This is especially true for couples that have school-aged children. It can already feel as if you’re destroying their lives, let alone forcing them to move out of the house they used to feel so safe in. But remember that a house is a big expense, and one that might not be worth fighting for. It’s often advised that splitting couples sell the house and split the proceeds. This way, both parties share in the risk and cost that is associated with a selling a home, says financial planner, Matt Mikula.

Mikula shares this example of a client of his. The mother of four had been awarded custody of the couple’s four children in addition to the family’s $1.5 million home and $500,000 in other assets. Not wanting to disrupt her children’s lifestyle, she wanted to keep the house.

But taxes, utilities, maintenance and other expenses amounted to about $50,000 a year. The client had little other means, in terms of assets and income to cover those costs. As a result, according to Mikula, “she was going to run out of money.”

In the end, the client decided to sell the house. This was six years after the divorce, and due to economic reasons, she received 20% less than what it had been valued at during the time of the divorce.

Additional Expenses

Housing is a huge expense, but it’s not the only one. Other expenses will need to be taken care of, including how much your family spends on food, clothes, and other essentials, like health insurance, which according to financial planners, can be steep.

There are also the unknown expenses. Ms. Church, a financial adviser at Raymond James Financial shared this story. After her divorce, her daughter was invited to play on a volleyball team that traveled extensively. Suddenly she needed to come up with about $400 to $500 a month to cover the hotel rooms, meals and other expenses associated with her daughter playing on this team. Ms. Church says, “there will be unforeseen expenses.” Because of this, she advises her clients to be aggressive when they sit down and figure out their post-divorce cost of living. This is especially true if there are children involved. She also advises to include the impact of inflation.

Stop Seeking Revenge

It’s obvious from almost every tabloid story on divorce that divorce can get ugly when it comes to finances.

One key reminder to keep in mind: The less you spend, the more you keep.

What that translates to is: the more you argue about petty things, the more time you will spend, which automatically translates to the more money you will spend.

Regardless of how terrible the reason is for your divorce, try to remember that the more money that gets put towards the divorce is less money that will be available for the settlement.

Financial planner Rose Swanger has this example to share: Her client was married for more than 20 years to a surgeon that earned a seven-figure income. He had cheated on her, and as a result, the two were divorcing. The woman was seeking $300,000 a year in alimony. According to Swanger, the amount she sought was unrealistic due to the fact that the couple owned two heavily mortgaged houses in affluent neighborhoods, and were also paying private-school tuition for their children.

The woman had already worked with two lawyers, running up tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees by the time she consulted Ms. Swanger, who ultimately dropped her as a client. As a result of the ever-increasing legal bills, the woman’s credit score suffered a large hit.

“I don’t blame her for trying to retaliate, but I warned her that a calm divorce is the best divorce,” Ms. Swanger says.

Every dollar spent during the divorce process is a dollar that cannot be split 50-50. It’s advised that you look at your divorce as a way to strike a favorable business deal rather than a chance to seek revenge.

Taxes and Divorcemoney and divorce

Before the divorce paperwork is signed you need to make sure you review what your agreement will mean around tax time. There are different tax laws regarding alimony and child support, depending on what side of the agreement you are on. Be sure that your lawyer or financial adviser explains this before you finalize the financial aspects of your divorce. An agreement that looks equal on the surface might be completely unfair when it comes to tax time.

Financial planner Monica Garver, worked on a case where the husband proposed a division of assets that worked out to be roughly an even split at face value. He proposed keeping $2 million from after-tax investment account and giving his soon-to-be ex-wife $2 million in tax-deferred retirement accounts.

“Each and every dollar [in the retirement accounts] had to pass through the hands of the taxman before the spouse could put it in her pocket,” says Ms. Garver. She encouraged that her client seek more of the couple’s assets to compensate for the money lost to the taxman.

Don’t Forget!

Before you can consider yourself free from your spouse there are some other financial matters that might not seem obvious.

Be sure to update your will, says Ms. Vasileff, a financial planner. Not doing this can put your intended heirs in a difficult situation, she says. She advises you will also need to update a health-care proxy or a power of attorney that names your former spouse.

Lastly, transfer any titles for any real estate, cars, investment accounts or other assets that were held jointly into your name, says Harty of SignatureFD. She also advises a big thing: change the passwords on your accounts, too.

Also, if there was something agreed to in your divorce, like a requirement that your former spouse purchase a life-insurance policy and name you as the beneficiary, you should make sure that the premiums are being paid and that you remain the beneficiary, Ms. Harty says. One option to ensure this is being done: Ask for periodic confirmation from the insurance company.

A Family Law Attorney

There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce. You and your spouse will need to come to an agreement that settles every aspect of your marriage.  Child support, spousal support, marital property division can all be agreed to through the process of mediation. Working with a skilled mediation attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Divorce Domestic Violence Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce

Heard Addresses Domestic Violence in Recent PSA

In May Amber Heard filed for divorce from actor Johnny Depp amid allegations of domestic violence.  At the time, Heard filed a temporary restraining order against Depp. The actress is now speaking out in a new PSA.

Heard Addresses Domestic Violence in PSA

Amber Heard recently recorded a PSA in part with the #GirlGaze Project that addressed violence against women and domestic abuse.

During the PSA, Heard touched on the abuse allegations she made against her estranged husband. “I guess there was a lot of shame attached to that label of ‘victim,'” she explained. “It happens to so many women. When it happens in your home, behind closed doors, with someone you love, it’s not as straightforward. If a stranger did this it would be a no-brainer.”

She concluded, “Speak up, speak up. Raise your voice, your voice is the most powerful thing and we, together, as women standing shoulder to shoulder cannot and will not any longer accept silence.”

Domestic Violence

In California, when a person is charged with spousal abuse relating to domestic violence, there are two common charges. These two charges are: corporal injury to a spouse or spousal battery. Below we outline the differences between the two.

Corporal injury to a spouse or cohabitant is charged as a felony crime. This charge can be brought when a person willfully inflicts on his or her spouse, former spouse, cohabitant, former cohabitant, or on any person who is the parent of his or her child, corporal injury that results in a traumatic condition.

“Traumatic condition” is defined by the California Penal code as a condition of the body, such as a wound or injury, regardless of how serious that wound or injury is. Regardless of how slight an injury is, as long as there is an injury, an arrest will be made if police are called to the scene of a domestic violence incident.

Spousal Battery

Spousal battery is generally charged as a misdemeanor crime. California penal code defines battery as any willful and unlawful use of force or violence upon the person of another. A person can be charged with spousal battery when a person commits battery against a spouse, a cohabitant, former spouse, fiancée, or a person with whom the person accused of has previously dated or are dating. Injury is not required for a person to be charged with spousal battery.

Divorce Settlement Donated to ACLU

In mid-August Amber Heard announced she would be donating the $7 million she was awarded as part of her divorce settlement from Johnny Depp to her two favorite charities – the American Civil Liberties Union, with a focus on battling violence against women, and Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles. The actress has volunteered at the charities for 10 years. But it seems Heard has yet to donate her settlement money because their divorce hasn’t been finalized yet.

“The settlement documents are being finalized and will be signed this week,” Heard’s lawyer explained. “Johnny is obligated by the settlement to pay Amber, and she in turn will honor her pledges to Children’s Hospital and the American Civil Liberties Union.”

O’Donnell continued, “Amber’s commitment to protecting victims of domestic violence and helping sick children is her life’s work.  Her recent PSA on domestic violence does not violate her settlement agreement with Johnny.  She will continue to lend her voice to the rising chorus of women speaking out about this terrible scourge on the American family.”

High Net-Worth Divorces33034958_s

It’s not uncommon for us to hear about high net-worth divorces coming out of Hollywood. Defined by the Securities and Exchange Commission, a “High Net-Worth Divorce” is “One in which a natural person who has individual net worth, or joint worth with the person’s spouse, that exceeds $1 million dollars at the time of purchase, excluding the value of the primary residence of such person; or a natural person with an income exceeding $200,000 in each of the two most recent years or joint income with a spouse exceeding $300,000 for those years and a reasonable expectation of the same income level in the current year.” 

For individuals who carry a significant net worth, such as Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, protecting themselves in the case of divorce is essential in order to properly secure their assets. Statistically speaking, individuals across a wide spectrum can find themselves facing the reality of divorce, no matter their socioeconomic status, ethnicity or religion, but the more assets involved and the higher the net worth, the greater the stakes when it comes to separation of finances and property.

Spousal Support Determinations

If you are getting divorced, and are seeking spousal support, or are expected to pay spousal support payments, there are some important things you’ll want to understand. A family law attorney will be able to walk you through the specifics of your case, but here we’ll provide you with a general overview of aspects of spousal support including: the awarding of spousal support, tax laws, and what can happen if spousal support payments are not made.

Defining Spousal Support

Spousal support (also known as alimony) is financial assistance that is only available to those who were legally married. It recognizes a partner’s contribution to the marriage and its goal is to help the recipient achieve financial independence. Rules regarding alimony vary state by state.

Calculating Spousal Support

When a court presides over a spousal support hearing, it weighs a number of factors including: the length of the marriage, the needs of each spouse, the standard of living that was created and maintained during the marriage, any assets, the age of the spouses, numerous other factors, and state specific laws. Your divorce attorney will build your case for spousal support based on your own specific circumstances.

Length of Spousal Support

The duration of spousal support payments is set by the court after it weighs the arguments that have been made. Typically, the length of payments lasts for half the length of a less than 10 years long marriage. For example: a marriage of six years means the spousal support payments will need to be paid for three years.

In longer marriages, a court might not set an a duration for the alimony payments. In that case, it is up to your divorce attorney to prove your side of the case and the duration. You should work with your divorce attorney to establish your side, regardless of if you are paying or receiving payments, and also determine the amount of time you seek. The court will then listen to both arguments, and using common law, decide upon the duration.

Permanent or Lifetime Spousal Support

“Permanent” or “Lifetime” spousal support means support will be paid to the recipient until the death of the one paying, or sometimes until the recipient remarries. While remarriage has been a reason for the end of spousal support payments, that is not always the case, and sometimes a court will rule that a remarriage does not mean the end of the support payments.

As women became a stronger component of the workforce, permanent support began to be rewarded less and less. And now courts rarely award permanent support. One appellate court stated:

“As recognized by our Supreme Court, the public policy of this state has progressed from one which entitled some women to lifelong alimony as a condition of the marital contract of support, to one that entitles either spouse to post-dissolution support for only so long as is necessary to become self-supporting.”

A court will usually require the higher earner, regardless of if they are husband or wife, to assist the lower earner with maintaining the standard of living, at least for a period of time.

“Standard of Living”

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Heard is seeking $50,000 a month in spousal support, an amount that is reportedly based on their “marital lifestyle.” This “marital lifestyle” will be based on what is called a “standard of living,” which is often used as a sort of guidebook for how much money a spouse will receive.

Spousal support’s main purpose is to assist a supported spouse in maintaining a standard of living that was close to that which was attained during the marriage. But the goal is for the spouse receiving the payments to eventually become self-supporting to the greatest extent possible. A court will take the following into account:

  • marketable skills of the supported spouse,
  • job market for those skills,
  • any time or expense the supported spouse will need to acquire education or training for employment or enhanced employability, and
  • the extent to which periods of unemployment (due to domestic duties) during the marriage have impaired the supported spouse’s present or future earning capacity.

The court will also consider any other factors, including:

  • extent to which the supported spouse contributed to the other spouse’s attainment of education, training, professional licensing or career advancement (this can also mean the extent to which the supported spouse provided and maintained home life while the other spouse was advancing his or her career)
  • ability of the supporting spouse to pay support. A court will take into account earning capacity, earned and unearned income, assets, and standard of living,
  • needs of each party based on what the marital standard of living was,
  • each spouse’s obligations and assets, including separate property,
  • duration of the marriage,
  • ability of a spouse who is also a custodial parent to engage in employment without interfering with the interests of dependent children,
  • each spouse’s age and health,
  • documented history of domestic violence by either spouse*,
  • immediate and specific tax consequences to each spouse (often times tax agreements are figured out during the awarding of spousal support and child support agreements),
  • balance of the hardships to each spouse, and
  • the goal that the supported spouse will be self-supporting within a reasonable period of time. This follows a general rule of thumb presumed to be one-half the length of a marriage (unless the marriage was longer than 10 years).

*California courts do not ordinarily consider conduct when making spousal support determinations. But often times, a court will not award support to a spouse that has a proven history of violence toward the other spouse.

While a history of violence might factor into Depp and Heard’s case, it will be up to a judge to determine if that is a factor in the two’s divorce case, or if, as Depp’s lawyer’s allege that Heard is just using the restraining order as a means to secure her future financial footing.

A Family Law Attorney

But when it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Child Custody Child Visitation Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce

Brad Pitt Cleared After Abuse Investigation

Now that Brad Pitt has been cleared of any wrongdoing following an investigation into a possible child abuse incident, what will this mean for the Angelina Jolie-Brad Pitt child custody agreement?

Brad Pitt Cleared After Abuse Investigation

The Los Angeles County Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS) has cleared Brad Pitt following an investigation of an alleged incident of abuse involving Pitt and one of his children. The accusation and launch of the investigation happened just one day before Jolie filed for divorce.
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According to court documents, Jolie is seeking sole physical custody of the couple’s six children — Maddox, 15; Pax, 12; Zahara, 11; Shiloh, 10; and twins Knox and Vivienne, 8. But last week, Pitt filed his response to her divorce filing and requested joint custody of their children.

As part of their current agreement, Jolie has custody, while Pitt is allowed “therapeutic visits.

Forms of Child Custody

There are different forms of child custody: legal custody, physical custody, sole custody, and joint custody.

Physical Custody

Physical custody means a parent has gained the legal right (typically through a court ruling) to have a child live with him or her. Usually if a parent has physical custody they also have sole custody of the child, which means the other parent has visitation rights.

Sole Custody

There are two forms of sole custody a parent can have: sole legal custody or sole physical custody. Courts seem to be moving away from awarding sole custody to one parent as more information is coming out about the importance of having both parents in a child’s life. In cases where a parent has been deemed unfit due to a history of neglect or abuse, a known dependency on drugs or alcohol, or a new parent that has been deemed unfit, a court will usually award sole physical custody to one parent.  It’s advised that unless a parent has demonstrated the above issues, that you do not seek sole custody, due to the importance of having both parents in a child’s life.

While the trend is to award joint custody, in cases where courts do award sole physical custody the parents still usually share joint legal custody (which means both parents are able to make legal decisions regarding the child), unless a parent has been deemed unfit to make those legal decisions.

Legal Custody

Legal custody allows a parent to make decisions regarding various aspects of a child’s life, including education, religion, and medical care or legal issues.

Joint Custody

Joint custody is able to be awarded to the parents if they are divorced, separated, no longer living together, or if they never lived together but still shared a child. The awarding of joint custody to both parents means each parent is able to make decisions regarding the child. Joint custody also comes in various forms, including joint legal custody, joint physical custody, or joint legal and physical custody. Usually, if a couple shares joint physical custody they also share joint legal custody. But if a couple shares joint legal custody they do not always also share joint physical custody.

Preparing for Your Child Custody Case Hearing

One you have filed your petition to be granted sole child custody you will receive a date for either a mediation session or a court hearing. You’ll want to be prepared going into this meeting. Here are some steps to prepare.

Work with Your Family Law Attorney

Your family law attorney will help you prepare for the mediation or court hearing. If you have been working with a family law attorney up to this point, chances are you have already built your case for why the other parent is unfit to raise the child or children you share. If you have not been working with a family law attorney, you will need to gather evidence of this on your own. We’ll discuss this more in depth further below.

Serve the Other Parent

After the petition has been filed, you’ll need to let the other parent know that you have done so and that you are requesting that a change be made to the current custody agreement. You can either work with your family law attorney to have the notification served, or work with a service company or the courthouse to have this done.  Once the notification is served, the person who served the papers will need to provide you with proof that the other parent has been made aware. This is called “Proof of Service.” You’ll need to provide this to the court.

Preparing Evidence

law generic

Family law courts prefer to award joint custody to both parents. Because of this, you will need to prove that the other parent is unfit and unable to handle custody of your child. This may be proven a number of ways. Here are a few examples:

  • A history of abuse or neglect. Are there any police reports that have been filed against the other parent? Are there other pieces of evidence? Are there witnesses that can corroborate your story?
  • Lifestyle. Does the other parent have a job? Is it a steady job that can ensure the other parent is able to financially take care of the child? Where does the other parent live? Is it a safe environment?
  • Emotional and physical health. Is the other parent physically and mentally able to care for the child?

Once you have prepared all your evidence, either on your own or with the help of a family law attorney, you will be ready for the mediation or court hearing. If during the mediation session you are unable to come to an agreement, then the case will need to go before a judge. Hopefully, either through mediation or the court hearing, you will then be granted with sole child custody.

It should be noted that if a parent strongly disagrees with how the court has decided on the custody case, there is always an option to appeal.

Appealing Child Custody Decisions

Child custody cases are difficult due to the nature of the subject. A family law court will always rule in the best interest of the child. It’s important to note that an appeals court will not review a case just because one party disagrees with what the judge decided. If you feel your child custody agreement was arrived at because the court made a substantive error (either procedural or legal) you are able to appeal the court’s decision. Here’s how to appeal a child custody ruling.

Work with a Family Law Attorney

Working with a family law attorney will help you prove your case. In the case of appealing an already decided agreement, the family law attorney will need to prove that the previous decision was arrived at inaccurately due to a legal error or a procedural error.

Rules of Your Jurisdiction

Every state has different rules that given child custody cases and appeals. A family law attorney will be familiar with the rules of your specific jurisdiction and will be able to help guide you through the process. If you are not working with a family law attorney, you will need to research the rules on your own. These jurisdiction rules govern what your timeline is for filing an appeal to your child custody case, as well as exact guidelines for what should be contained in the petition to appeal. You can find these rules online or at your local courthouse.

Prepare an Appellate Petition

Next, you will need to prepare an appellate petition. This petition outlines why you are appealing the current child custody decision, as well as lists the errors that the lower court made when deciding on your child custody decision. If you are not working with a family law attorney, you might want to have the petition you fill out reviewed by one, just to ensure it has been done correctly. Next, you will file this petition with the court, as well as have a notification of the filing served to your opposing party.

Review of Appellate Petition

The court will then review the appellate petition and decide whether or not to hear your child custody appeal. If the court decides to hear your case, you will need to prepare a brief that explains your reasons for appealing the initial child custody agreement. This brief should include the lower court’s rules, case law, and all the facts that were presented in the initial custody hearing. A judge will review this and offer a final decision.

When parents live in different locations, either different states, countries, or even towns, the issue of child custody can become very difficult. It’s not uncommon for parents to request move away court orders.

Working with A Family Law Attorney

When it comes to child custody decisions, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney. There are a number of things that need to be considered, namely the best interests of the child, but also what type of custody you are hoping to acheive. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Divorce Family Law Marital Property Division

Considerations in Gray Divorce

According to the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University in Ohio gray divorces are not as uncommon as you might think.

Gray Divorce

Gray divorce is the “nickname” given to couples that divorce after long marriages and later on in life. The “gray” is a nod to the fact that many of those people involved in gray divorces are also graying. And according to the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University in Ohio, in 2010, one in four divorces filed occurred among people age 50. That’s actually a pretty significant amount. So what are the common reasons behind these late divorces?

Reasons for Gray Divorce

Motorists and Cyclists

Here are some common reasons that people seek divorces after long lasting marriages:

They Grow Apart

According to Stan Tatkin, author of Wired for Love, the process that leads to gray divorce isn’t a sudden event or trigger, but rather it happens over time. “It’s like an unbreakable plate you drop repeatedly,” he says. “The relationship develops microcracks inside the structure you can’t see. Then it finally reaches a critical mass and shatters.”

Boredom

Boredom can play a factor. Steve Siebold, a psychological performance and mental toughness coach and author of 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of The World Class, says, “Being around the same person 24/7, depending on the relationship, can lead to boredom.”

Complacency

After so many years of being together, it’s not uncommon for couples to get complacent. “You work hard, play hard and take care of business, but you’ve stopped being the attentive, attractive spouse. You’ve allowed yourself to become complacent,” says Siebold.

Money Issues

Everyone approaches and handles money differently. One spouse may be a big spender while the other spouse is a saver, Siebold says. “The kids’ activities, expenses and college funds eat the family’s discretionary cash and you’re deep in debt,” he notes.

Typical Considerations for Gray Divorce

Chances are that couples seeking divorces later on in life will have specific aspects of their marriages that need to be determined. The main ones will most likely be division of marital property and spousal support.We discuss these extensively below.

Dividing Marital Property

Over the course of a long marriage, couples tend to accumulate various assets and property. There are various concerns you will need to deal with when it comes to dividing the marital property. This can be especially true for couples divorcing after a long marriage.

What State do you Live in?

State laws govern how the marital property will be divided. You will need to check with an attorney to see if you live in an equitable distribution state or a community property state.

What Counts as Property?

Property is anything that can be bought or sold, or anything that has a financial value. This includes: houses, cars, furniture, clothing, bank accounts, businesses, etc. Within that, there are two forms of property when it comes to a marriage: community property and separate property. Community property is anything earned or acquired during the course of the marriage. Separate property belongs to one spouse. States make their own determinations on what counts as separate property. A family law attorney would be able to help you determine what is “separate property” based on your state’s laws.

Other Considerations

There are four other steps that need to be considered when diving marital property:

  1. Identify the assets owned by you and your spouse
  2. Categorize all assets as marital or non-marital property
  3. A value will need to be assigned to the assets
  4. Devise a plan for the division of assets that is in accordance with state laws

In addition to marital property division, couples going through a gray divorce will also most likely need to address the issue of spousal support.

Spousal Support

Alimony, often called “spousal support” is when one spouse pays the other in order to help that spouse maintain the same financial standing as was experienced during the marriage. In many gray divorces, one spouse will have stayed at home to take care of children while the other spouse was in the work-force. This often results in one spouse not having the skills required to be in the work-force. In these instances, a court will require the higher earning spouse to assist the lower in maintaining that standard of lifestyle that was achieved during the marriage.

Awarding Spousal Support

In California a judge can award temporary (“pendente lite”) support either during the divorce proceedings, or when the divorce is declared final. Typically these payments are made from one spouse to the other in a specified amount for a predetermined period of time. But support can also be paid in a single lump-sum payment. In collaborative process divorce agreements, spouses often come to agreement on the terms and conditions of support payments. As long as this agreement meets legal requirements, a court will uphold an agreement. This is the case even if the agreement provides for a complete waiver of support to the lower-earning spouse.

Duration of Spousal Support

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In California, the duration of spousal support agreements are often tied to the length of the marriage. A general rule of thumb is that for a marriage of less than 10 years, a court will not order support payments be made for longer than half the length of the marriage. But if a marriage has lasted 10 years or longer, a court typically will not set a definite termination date for support. Both spouses are able to request modifications to the spousal support agreement indefinitely, unless a termination date has specifically been agreed, or if the court expressly terminates the support at a later hearing.

Awarding Permanent Support

Sometimes support is labeled “permanent” support, but the actual awarding of permanent support lasting for the remainder of a lifetime is increasingly rare, even for marriages that last over 10 years. Family law courts in California tend to require a spouse seeking support to make an effort to become self-supporting. A spouse that makes claims that they are unable to work, or unable to become fully employed, is required to support the claim with evidence. Often times this means having a  vocational evaluation. And for long term support orders, the support often gradually reduces over time by a nominal amount. Permanent support is usually only awarded to spouses that are unable to become self-supporting due to age or disability.

Calculation of Spousal Support

California law rules that the purpose of awarding temporary spousal support is for preserving the financial status quo, or “standard of living during the marriage” to the greatest extent possible. After a court evaluates and considers the needs of the spouse requesting the support, as well as the ability of the other spouses ability to pay, it can order the temporary spousal support in any amount. Typically, a court will use a common formula for calculating temporary support. One example of this formula is the Santa Clara County formula. This formula comes up with a figure through subtracting 50% of the lower-earner’s net income from 40% of the higher earner’s, and then makes adjustments for tax consequences and child support payments. The California Department of Child Support provides a support calculator for parents of dependent children looking to get a rough estimate of what temporary spousal support payments might look like along with child support payments. A family law attorney will also be able to provide you with a rough idea of what your payments will look like.

Standard of Living

Spousal support’s main purpose is to assist a supported spouse in maintaining a standard of living that was close to that which was attained during the marriage. But the goal is for the spouse receiving the payments to eventually become self-supporting to the greatest extent possible. A court will take the following into account:

  • marketable skills of the supported spouse,
  • job market for those skills,
  • any time or expense the supported spouse will need to acquire education or training for employment or enhanced employability, and
  • the extent to which periods of unemployment (due to domestic duties) during the marriage have impaired the supported spouse’s present or future earning capacity.

The court will also consider any other factors, including:

  • extent to which the supported spouse contributed to the other spouse’s attainment of education, training, professional licensing or career advancement (this can also mean the extent to which the supported spouse provided and maintained home life while the other spouse was advancing his or her career)
  • ability of the supporting spouse to pay support. A court will take into account earning capacity, earned and unearned income, assets, and standard of living,
  • needs of each party based on what the marital standard of living was,
  • each spouse’s obligations and assets, including separate property,
  • duration of the marriage,
  • ability of a spouse who is also a custodial parent to engage in employment without interfering with the interests of dependent children,
  • each spouse’s age and health,
  • documented history of domestic violence by either spouse*,
  • immediate and specific tax consequences to each spouse (often times tax agreements are figured out during the awarding of spousal support and child support agreements),
  • balance of the hardships to each spouse, and
  • the goal that the supported spouse will be self-supporting within a reasonable period of time. This follows a general rule of thumb presumed to be one-half the length of a marriage (unless the marriage was longer than 10 years).

*California courts do not ordinarily consider conduct when making spousal support determinations. But often times, a court will not award support to a spouse that has a proven history of violence toward the other spouse.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

As with anything regarding your gray divorce, including spousal support and marital property division, you should consult a family law attorney. A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Child Custody Child Visitation Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce Paternity

Brad Pitt Finally Sees Children

Last week Brad Pitt saw his children for the first time since it was announced that he and estranged wife Angelina Jolie were divorcing. During the visit, a monitor was present, however, not all of the children were.

Brad Pitt Finally Sees Children

Following the announcement of the super couple’s divorce, just two years and one month after their marriage, it was revealed that Jolie would be seeking physical custody with visitation and legal custody rights for Pitt.

Shortly after the announcement, Jolie and Pitt came to a temporary custody agreement which granted Jolie temporary sole custody of the couple’s six kids while Pitt received visitation rights. Additionally, both parents agreed to participate in individual counseling and that Pitt’s initial visit with his children would be with a therapist. At that time nothing had been mandated for supervision or monitoring.

It was also revealed that a therapist would be present for all visits with Pitt until October 20. Pitt also volunteered to complete drug and alcohol testing but it is not legally required.

Brangelina Divorce

Jolie filed for divorce from Pitt on Sept. 19. Shortly after allegations arose of an altercation between Pitt and eldest son, Maddox.

Despite the fact that Jolie currently has temporary sole custody, it’s been reported that she does not wish for that to be a permanent agreement and has hopes that the couple will be able to co-parent in the future.

“He really wants to see the kids and to work out an arrangement that is best for them,” an insider close to Pitt revealed. “[He] wants to work things out privately and amicably.”

Forms of Child Custody

There are different forms of child custody: legal custody, physical custody, sole custody, and joint custody.

Physical Custody

Physical custody means a parent has gained the legal right (typically through a court ruling) to have a child live with him or her. Usually if a parent has physical custody they also have sole custody of the child, which means the other parent has visitation rights.

Sole Custody

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There are two forms of sole custody a parent can have: sole legal custody or sole physical custody. Courts seem to be moving away from awarding sole custody to one parent as more information is coming out about the importance of having both parents in a child’s life. In cases where a parent has been deemed unfit due to a history of neglect or abuse, a known dependency on drugs or alcohol, or a new parent that has been deemed unfit, a court will usually award sole physical custody to one parent.  It’s advised that unless a parent has demonstrated the above issues, that you do not seek sole custody, due to the importance of having both parents in a child’s life.

While the trend is to award joint custody, in cases where courts do award sole physical custody the parents still usually share joint legal custody (which means both parents are able to make legal decisions regarding the child), unless a parent has been deemed unfit to make those legal decisions.

Legal Custody

Legal custody allows a parent to make decisions regarding various aspects of a child’s life, including education, religion, and medical care or legal issues.

Joint Custody

Joint custody is able to be awarded to the parents if they are divorced, separated, no longer living together, or if they never lived together but still shared a child. The awarding of joint custody to both parents means each parent is able to make decisions regarding the child. Joint custody also comes in various forms, including joint legal custody, joint physical custody, or joint legal and physical custody. Usually, if a couple shares joint physical custody they also share joint legal custody. But if a couple shares joint legal custody they do not always also share joint physical custody.

Preparing for Your Child Custody Case Hearing

One you have filed your petition to be granted sole child custody you will receive a date for either a mediation session or a court hearing. You’ll want to be prepared going into this meeting. Here are some steps to prepare.

Work with Your Family Law Attorney

Your family law attorney will help you prepare for the mediation or court hearing. If you have been working with a family law attorney up to this point, chances are you have already built your case for why the other parent is unfit to raise the child or children you share. If you have not been working with a family law attorney, you will need to gather evidence of this on your own. We’ll discuss this more in depth further below.

Serve the Other Parent

After the petition has been filed, you’ll need to let the other parent know that you have done so and that you are requesting that a change be made to the current custody agreement. You can either work with your family law attorney to have the notification served, or work with a service company or the courthouse to have this done.  Once the notification is served, the person who served the papers will need to provide you with proof that the other parent has been made aware. This is called “Proof of Service.” You’ll need to provide this to the court.

Preparing Evidence

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Family law courts prefer to award joint custody to both parents. Because of this, you will need to prove that the other parent is unfit and unable to handle custody of your child. This may be proven a number of ways. Here are a few examples:

  • A history of abuse or neglect. Are there any police reports that have been filed against the other parent? Are there other pieces of evidence? Are there witnesses that can corroborate your story?
  • Lifestyle. Does the other parent have a job? Is it a steady job that can ensure the other parent is able to financially take care of the child? Where does the other parent live? Is it a safe environment?
  • Emotional and physical health. Is the other parent physically and mentally able to care for the child?

Once you have prepared all your evidence, either on your own or with the help of a family law attorney, you will be ready for the mediation or court hearing. If during the mediation session you are unable to come to an agreement, then the case will need to go before a judge. Hopefully, either through mediation or the court hearing, you will then be granted with sole child custody.

It should be noted that if a parent strongly disagrees with how the court has decided on the custody case, there is always an option to appeal.

Appealing Child Custody Decisions

Child custody cases are difficult due to the nature of the subject. A family law court will always rule in the best interest of the child. It’s important to note that an appeals court will not review a case just because one party disagrees with what the judge decided. If you feel your child custody agreement was arrived at because the court made a substantive error (either procedural or legal) you are able to appeal the court’s decision. Here’s how to appeal a child custody ruling.

Work with a Family Law Attorney

Working with a family law attorney will help you prove your case. In the case of appealing an already decided agreement, the family law attorney will need to prove that the previous decision was arrived at inaccurately due to a legal error or a procedural error.

Rules of Your Jurisdiction

Every state has different rules that given child custody cases and appeals. A family law attorney will be familiar with the rules of your specific jurisdiction and will be able to help guide you through the process. If you are not working with a family law attorney, you will need to research the rules on your own. These jurisdiction rules govern what your timeline is for filing an appeal to your child custody case, as well as exact guidelines for what should be contained in the petition to appeal. You can find these rules online or at your local courthouse.

Prepare an Appellate Petition

Next, you will need to prepare an appellate petition. This petition outlines why you are appealing the current child custody decision, as well as lists the errors that the lower court made when deciding on your child custody decision. If you are not working with a family law attorney, you might want to have the petition you fill out reviewed by one, just to ensure it has been done correctly. Next, you will file this petition with the court, as well as have a notification of the filing served to your opposing party.

Review of Appellate Petition

The court will then review the appellate petition and decide whether or not to hear your child custody appeal. If the court decides to hear your case, you will need to prepare a brief that explains your reasons for appealing the initial child custody agreement. This brief should include the lower court’s rules, case law, and all the facts that were presented in the initial custody hearing. A judge will review this and offer a final decision.

When parents live in different locations, either different states, countries, or even towns, the issue of child custody can become very difficult. It’s not uncommon for parents to request move away court orders.

Working with A Family Law Attorney

When it comes to child custody decisions, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney. There are a number of things that need to be considered, namely the best interests of the child, but also what type of custody you are hoping to acheive. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

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