Almost two years after filing, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have officially signed papers to finalize their divorce.
Bittersweet Divorce
In a recent interview with Complex magazine, Kardashian, 31, expressed that Odom, 35, is “going to always be that person,” a sentiment shared by others that have been through the same experience of divorce. It’s not always easy moving on after divorce, and each person has their own unique experience.
The divorce between the reality TV star and the former professional basketball player has been in the tabloids for years now. While it seemed as if the two were leading a charmed life in front of the cameras on their hit TV show, Khloe and Lamar, the relationship crumbled when the basketball player relapsed into his substance abuse problem.
Kardahsian filed for divorce on September 13, 2013, but the divorce was not finalized til July 21 of this year.
In Life&Style magazine’s September issue it was reported that the couple had received notice from The Superior Court of California County “alerting both Lamar and Khloe that their divorce is not complete — and once again, she didn’t respond.”
As of April of this year, it was still unclear what was happening between the two. It seemed as if Odom could not be located and Kardashian had still not moved to get a default divorce judgement, despite the fact that she was able to.
A default divorce judgement can be granted if the respondent does not file his or her response within 30 days of receiving the divorce petition. The petitioner can obtain a “default” divorce by filing court forms for judgment, child custody, child support, spousal support, and property division. No trial is necessary.
Still it seems that Kardashian did not want to move forward.
Khloe Opens Up
Kardashian sat down with Complex magazine for their 2015 August/September issue to not only show off her well-trained body in an exercise-themed photoshoot, but also to speak to what has been happening between her and Lamar.
“I talk to Lamar as often as I can, which is inconsistent, but not on my terms,” she said. “When you genuinely feel like that was the right relationship, you’re supposed to give it all you can. That’s what marriage is about. It’s not, ‘Let’s see if it works, if not we always have divorce.’ I am not one of those girls. You took a vow before God and you’re supposed to abide by that.”
While divorce papers were finally signed on July 21 of this year, Kardashian said she hadn’t been “rushing” the divorce because she wasn’t “looking to get married tomorrow.”
“Lamar is genuinely one of the best people I’ve ever met, and everyone says that when they meet him. I think Lamar’s going to always be that person [for me] but that’s what made it so special,” she said. “Even if I had it for five years or whatever, it was the best ever and I’m grateful I did. Some people don’t get that ever and I had that magic for a long time.”
She misses Odom “every day,” she went on to say.
“I miss what we had – things we got to do together are just memories. I like looking back and holding on to that stuff,” she said. “I definitely miss it, and there’s times I’ll get so sentimental and so sad, but this had to happen for some reason. I’ll figure it out over time, someone will give me that answer eventually.”
Moving On
Moving forward after divorce means that every day you will need to actively work to progress and improve . As Professor Harold Hill once said: “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.” It’s time to take your life back into your own hands.
Big changes can be accomplished with small steps, like these:
- Wake up
- Get in the zone
- Get moving
- Eat well
- Get inspired
- Gain some perspective
- Do something that will propel you forward
Get Some Sleep and Wake Up in the AM
According to the National Sleep Foundation (NSF) 40 million Americans suffer from over 70 different sleep disorders. Additionally, 60 percent of adults and 69 percent of children have one or more sleep problems at least a few nights during a week.
Getting the right amount of sleep can help you have a longer life, increased creativity, memory, attention, and focus. It can help to lower stress and your risk for depression.
Bottom line: you need your beauty sleep.
Find Clarity
Focus on the positive things in your life. What you set your focus on expands. After waking up from a restful night’s sleep, prayer and meditation can help orient you toward the positive.
Focus on what you are grateful for: being out of a marriage that did not serve you. There are limitless opportunities and possibilities for you every day, so start the morning off by getting yourself into a space of gratitude and clarity.
Physical Activity
By now we all know we need exercise. Still, according to the Center for Disease Control’s National Health Interview Survey, only one-third of American men and women between the ages of 25 to 64 engage in regular physical activity.
Regular exercise has shown to decrease your chance of depression, anxiety, and stress. It’s also been linked to higher success in people’s careers. Any form of exercise works: the gym, yard work, cleaning. Just get your body moving and every aspect of your life will thrive.
Get Enough Protein
Eating protein first thing decreases cravings for white carbohydrates, which have been proven to make you fat. Donald Layman, professor emeritus of nutrition at the University of Illinois, recommends eating or drinking at least 30 grams of protein for breakfast. Protein-rich food can help you feel fuller for longer because it takes longer for the body to digest. Protein has also been shown to keep blood-sugar levels steady while also preventing hunger spikes. In The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss, he recommends getting 30 grams of protein within 30 minutes after waking up.
According to Ferriss, eat at least 40% of your breakfast calories as protein: two to three whole eggs, turkey bacon, organic pork bacon or sausage, or cottage cheese. You can also do a protein shake made with water. If you follow a vegetarian or vegan diet you can eat legumes, greens, nuts, and seeds.
Cold Water Immersion
Cold water immersion has been shown to radically facilitate physical and mental wellness with regular practice. It not only changes your body’s immune, lymphatic, circulatory and digestive systems, but it can also increase weight-loss because it boosts your metabolism.
A study done in 2007 found that cold water triggers mood-boosting neurochemicals that make people feel happier. The study concluded that because of this, taking cold showers routinely can help treat depression symptoms. Often, cold showers are more effective than prescription medications.
Sure, none of us wants to step into a cold shower, but try to think of it like getting into a swimming pool. The first 20 seconds feels terrible, but once you’ve done it, it’s fine.
Those who do this report feeling an increase in willpower, creativity, motivation, and inspiration.
Uplifting Content
Seek uplifting content in the form of books. You don’t even have to read – you can listen to an audiobook. Even 15-30 minutes a morning of uplifting and instructive information can change you. Just think about how much that will amount to over time. And just consider the amount of knowledge and life-perspective you will have gained.
Get a Life Vision
Write down your short and long term goals. Reviewing them a few minutes a day can put your day into perspective. Chances are some things have changed after your divorce. Take some time to re-focus your energy on what you really want to accomplish.
Reading your long term goals every day will make sure you think about them every day. As you spend your days working towards your goals, they’ll manifest.
There’s a science to achieving goals, which removes the confusion and ambiguity of them. If you stick to a pattern, you can accomplish your goals, regardless of if they are large or small.
Write them down and review them every single day.
Take a Step Forward
Do the important things first. As you work through the day you’ll find your ability to make high quality decisions becomes fatigued. So if you don’t do the important things first, they simply will not get done. That means if you have to contact your ex-spouse for any reason – to discuss an issue with your children, or to ask if they can switch a day of child care next week, get it done first.
When it comes to personal things, the same is true. There will always be a million reasons to put something off til tomorrow. And tomorrow means never.
Consider this mantra: The worst comes first. Do what you’ve been needing to do first. And then do it again the next day.
Every day you need to take a step towards your goals. With every new step, you’ll realize that your goals aren’t that far away.
Moving Forward
A divorce can shatter your life if you let it. So don’t let it.
Every day you can move forward with these steps. Put a plan in place to succeed. Every step on that plan brings you closer to your dreams. Maybe that means finally having a day where you don’t feel guilty or sad about your divorce. Maybe it’s a day of less resentment. Maybe it’s a day where you focus on getting healthy by preparing a good meal for yourself.
Making small steps every day like the ones outlined above will change your life.
Woring with a Therapist
There are so many emotional things that you will need to work through when you decide to end your marriage. You might want to consider reaching out to a therapist or life-coach to help you through the emotional aspects. They can coach you on coping techniques and skills that will help you come to terms with your divorce.
A Family Law Attorney
But when it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case. For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.
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