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Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce

Dempsey Cancels Divorce

It looks like Patrick Dempsey and his wife Jillian are no longer getting the divorce they filed for over a year ago.

Dempsey Cancels Divorce

According to a source, the Grey’s Anatomy star and his wife of 15 years, Jillian (nee Fink) have been working to reconcile their marriage. The same source says the divorce plan has been cancelled. “For the past year, Patrick and Jillian have been working on getting to where they are right now. They are not dating anyone else, and only each other,” the source told People magazine. “There are no more divorce plans. Patrick and Jillian plan on being a family again.”

The two filed last January, but according to the source, “The divorce made Patrick miserable. It was definitely a wakeup call.”

It seems Jillian’s recent Instagram of the two together, celebrating Patrick’s 50th birthday confirms that the divorce is off.

The couple shares three children: Tallula, 13, and twins Sullivan and Darby, 8.

Cancelling a Divorce

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Just because a couple begins divorce proceedings, that does not mean they have to continue and complete a divorce. In fact, a divorce can even be called off once all the paperwork has been filed.

Stopping a divorce once the paperwork has been filed is dependent on the intentions of both spouses. Namely, both spouses need to agree why the divorce is being cancelled. Both spouses also need to agree to get back together and officially cancel the divorce.

The next consideration is where the paperwork is in the process of the filing. If a judgment has not been formally issued then the parties can stop the divorce upon mutual agreement. Naturally, it’s better to stop the divorce earlier in the process, rather than once it has gone through the majority of the process.

Request to Withdraw Divorce Petition

If both parties have agreed to cancel the divorce, the couple next needs to file a request to withdraw their divorce petition. This may require additional filing fees and court costs, and may also require that the couple attends counseling or mediation so that a court can determine if the decision to cancel the divorce is not only mutual, but based on a sound agreement.

Finalizing Withdrawal

Once the withdrawal is finalized, all divorce proceedings are cancelled, and the couple remains legally married. Property returns to being considered community property and any child custody agreements are cancelled.

Issues to Consider

There are some additional considerations to take if you wish to stop the divorce hearings. They include the following:

  • A spouses can change his or her mind at any point and continue with the divorce
  • Were there any reasons for why a spouse might have considered full custody, such as abuse or neglect? Do these issues need to be resolved before the couple can continue their marriage?

Pretending to Stop the Divorce

Sometimes a couple will pretend to stop the divorce in an attempt to delay the finalization of the divorce. This can be for any number of reasons. Falsely attempting to cancel a divorce may be considered divorce fraud and will be subject to investigation. The party attempting to falsely stop a divorce may face legal consequences, such as contempt of court or even criminal charges. This is why a court will often require counseling or mediation in order to determine that the couple actually wants to continue their marriage.

Working with a Lawyer to Stop a Divorce After Filing

It’s always advised that you work with a family law attorney when it comes to divorce, or stopping your divorce. There are several issues that might arise that a lawyer will be able to provide advice for.

Another Option – Legal Separation

While divorce might seem like the only option, remember that legal separation is also available. Legal separation allows couples to live apart and take a “break” from each other, while also ensuring that each spouse’s legal rights are protected via a legal separation agreement. Legal separations can also be called: “judicial separation”, “separate maintenance”, “divorce a mensa et thoro“, or “divorce from bed-and-board.” All these terms refer to the legal process by which a married couple formalizes a de facto separation while remaining legally married.

Formal Legal Separation Agreement

It’s always advised that you sign a formal legal separation agreement. This agreement outlines child support and visitation, property division, and any other aspect of a marriage.  An attorney will be able to prepare this legal and binding document. This will offer you legal protection should your spouse fail to live up to his or her obligations and will also also hold up in court.

The following should be included in the legal separation agreement:

Spousal Support

Benefits – With legal separation spouses are able to retain certain benefits that were available during the marriage, such as health insurance.

Home Residency – If a couple shares a home, it should be decided at this time what will happen to the residency during the separation. The agreement should include information regarding who is able to live in the home, who is responsible for maintaining the home, and who is financially handling the home.

Joint Accounts – A legal separation agreement outlines who has access to those joint accounts such as joint checking, savings, and credit accounts. It’s often advised to close or freeze these accounts during the separation. Each spouse will then need to obtain their own personal accounts.

Protection from Acquired Debt – A legal separation agreement will shield you from being responsible for debt acquired during the time of the legal separation.

Why Pursue Legal Separation?

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There are advantages with legal separation, including:

  • Spouses are able to maintain benefits such as a spouse’s health care plan or military benefits.
  • Staying legally married for 10 years allows couples certain social security benefits.
  • The separation period allows for a “cool off time,” during which parties can work to resolve their differences. Couples can then decide to either pursue a divorce or resume the marriage.
  • In some religions divorce is not allowed or recognized. Legal separation allows these religious couples to live separate lives while still remaining married and true their faith.
  • Legal separation can be used to solve immediate problems in couples who are uncertain about moving forward with divorce.

Steps to Follow for Legal Separation

Here are the steps you will take to acquire a legal separation:

  • Consider working with a family law attorney that can advise you on all the necessary steps of your legal separation.
  • You and your spouse will need to decide on grounds for the separation
  • Fill out a Form FL-100 Petition. This form includes options for divorce (dissolution of marriage) or legal separation.
  • If you have children under 18, you will need to complete Form FL-105/GC-120 which provides information to the court regarding children.
  • File Form FL-100 at your local county court. Pay any necessary fees. If you receive public benefits or have low income, you might be eligible for a fee waiver.
  • Serve your spouse with a copy of the court papers if they were not filed together. There will need to be proof of the serving, which can be done through various means such as a process server. A family law attorney can advise you on how to obtain this proof.

Moving Forward with Divorce

If following your legal separation you and your spouse decide to move forward with a divorce, you will still need to file a divorce petition and go through the formal divorce process. Since a legal separation agreement has already been created and you mutually agree all aspects of your marriage, chances are you will be able to file an uncontested divorce. If there are still unresolved issues, you might decide you need a court’s help to come to a decision. It’s important to remember though that just because you are legally separated, that does not mean you are officially divorced. A judge will need to sign off on the final divorce papers and agreement before you can declare yourself “single.”

Working with a Divorce Attorney

It’s always advised that you consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories
Child Custody Child Support Child Visitation Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce

Jeremy Renner Will Pay $13K a Month in Child Support

Actor Jeremy Renner will be paying $13,000 a month in child support to ex-wife Sonny Pacheco. The two divorced after just ten months of marriage.

Jeremy Renner Will Pay $13K a Month in Child Support

The Oscar-nominated actor and his soon-to-be ex-wife split up after just ten months of marriage, and share a daughter, 2-year-old, Ava Berlin Renner.

It appears that though the two signed a prenuptial agreement in which Pacheco had waived her right to seek spousal support, Pacheco was still seeking support payments. While Pacheco had been seeking primary physical custody of Ava and an increase in the monthly support payments she was receiving, Renner has always insisted on joint custody. Now, according to court documents, the two will share joint legal and physical custody and Renner will pay $13,000 a month in child support.

In addition to the new agreement on child custody and support, the settlement also stipulates that neither Renner nor Pacheco is allowed to “make derogatory or insulting remarks” about the other, any future significant others, or either of their families in front of Ava. They’re also restricted from “arguing, yelling or using profanity” directed at each other in front of the two-year-old.

Additionally, Renner has been asked to cover Ava’s health care costs in full, and has also been ordered to pay back child support of $21,035.

An Overall Look at Child Support

Children, Sports, and the Increasing Number of Brain Injuries

It’s a term that gets thrown around a lot, especially in divorce cases where children are involved, but it’s not always necessarily defined. Child support is a monthly payment that parents pay to help cover the costs associated with raising a child, such as education, health care, and after-school activity costs. Just as every child is different, the amount that needs to be paid is different, and will be based on the child’s needs, in addition to the ability of the parent to pay, in addition to some set legal guidelines.

Typically, the custodial parent – the parent who cares for the child most of the time – receives the child support payments.  And the non-custodial parent – the parent that spends less parenting time – typically makes the payments. It is assumed that because the custodial parent is in legal charge most of the time, that they are already directly spending money on the child. A court is also able to order both parents to pay child support.

In cases where one parent makes more money than the other, such as in the Renner-Pacheco case, it makes sense that while the two share joint legal and physical custody, Renner will need to pay child support – his income is higher than Pacheco’s.

Usually, child support is paid until the child turns 18, though there are some exceptions. Exceptions include: the child marries, joins the military, or becomes self-supporting. Other times, the support may continue until the child turns 19 if the child is still in high school and lives with a parent. Support can also be extended past the age of 19 if parents agree, or if the child is unable to become self-supporting due to a disability.

Child Support Guidelines in California

While each case will be considered separately and individually, the payment amount a parent must pay is based on California’s child support guidelines.

The guidelines follow a mathematical formula and are based on a number of factors, which we will discuss. You can calculate a rough amount by using California’s Guidelines Child Support Calculator. A court presumes that the amount given by the California’s Guidelines Child Support Calculator is appropriate, but because there are so many additional factors that can weigh into a child support decision, that amount can be unfair. Because of this, it’s advised that you work with a family law attorney that can help you get a fair amount.

In cases with special circumstances, where parents have different time-sharing arrangements than the typical, child support decisions can be difficult to determine. Examples of these special circumstances include: when the parents have equal time-sharing, but one parent has a much lower or higher percentage of income; where the child has special medical needs. In cases like these, a court will need to weigh all these special factors.

Parents are also able to pay more, if it is agreed, and also agree for one spouse to pay less. Regardless of the decision, a court will need to approve the final amount. It’s important to note that a court will always take the child’s best interest into account. This factor will always play into the decision regarding the amount of support payments, so if a couple decides to pay less, then the parents will also need to be able to prove the child’s needs will be met. Paying less support is not an option for parents who have applied for or receive public assistance. Instead, a parent who receives public assistance may agree to support payments that are at or above the amount provided by the guidelines. Additionally,  the local child support services agency must also agree to the lesser amount.

Calculating Child Support Payments

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To calculate what a court will want you to pay in child support, you’ll first need both parents’ net disposable income. This is the difference between gross income and what counts as deductions for child support purposes. You can either consult the California Guideline Child Support Calculator User Guide, or work with a family law attorney to determine what can be deducted.

Gross income is income from the following: salaries, commissions, unemployment, spousal support, and social security benefits. You might even need to include lottery winnings, depending on the amount. You are able to exclude child and spousal support payments actually paid and money from public assistance programs.

After determining gross income, deduct state and federal income taxes, mandatory union dues, and health insurance premiums, among other things. You can either consult the California Guideline Child Support Calculator User Guide, or work with a family law attorney to determine what can be deducted.

You’ll also need to know the following:

  • number of children who need support
  • custody (time-share) arrangement
  • both parents’ tax liabilities
  • whether a parent is already supporting children from another relationship
  • child’s health insurance expenses
  • both parents’ mandatory retirement contributions and other job-related expenses, and
  • all other relevant costs (health care, day care, travel, etc)

Remember that a court will require either one or both parents to contribute to the child’s health care and child care. A court also has the discretion to require  additional payment for the child’s education or special needs, as well as for a parent’s travel expenses for visiting the child.

Remember that after you have calculated your child support payment, that this is just an estimate until a court reviews it and approves it. A family law attorney is a great way to ease this process, as it can be overwhelming to calculate.

You Must Pay Child Support

Every parent that is ordered to pay child support, must do so. A parent that avoids paying by refusing to work or working less very rarely gets away with it. A court can “impute” income. This means that the court will look at factors like employment history, education, and training and come up with an amount of income that a parent should be earning.

Modifications to the Amount of Child Support

Even if a child support payment has been agreed to, it can be modified. This is usually only granted if there has been a significant change in financial or time-share circumstances.

Such circumstances include: job loss, increase in income, or a shift in how much parents are spending with the child. Other reasons include: when a parent has another child with a different partner or when a parent has an extended illness or goes to jail.

When a modification request is made, the court will consider both parents’ current financial situations and time-share. Sometimes when parent’s income has decreased, that parent’s child support payment goes up due to the time-share factor. Child support payments tend to increase when a parent’s percentage of time-share decreases. A court will need to recalculate time-share amounts in addition to the changes in income.

A Family Law Attorney

But when it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce and determining child support and payment, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney. There are a number of things that a family law attorney will be able to advise you on, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

 

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Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law

New Year, New Divorce?

For some couples the holidays can be even more stressful – they can also mean a divorce in the new year. As we round out 2015 and look towards 2016, you might be considering a divorce for your new year. Below we discuss why January has been nick-named “Divorce Month,” as well as what to do if your new year means “new divorce.”

New Year, New Divorce?

According to James McLaren, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, divorce attorneys “see a significant increase in people seeking out divorce advice and, ultimately, filing. The number of filings is one-third more than normal. That begins in January and probably goes into early March.”

What is it about the new year that drives people to divorce? A lot of times, that divorce has been a long time coming, and not just the result of stressful holidays.

If you are considering divorce, you know it’s not a consideration taken lightly. Chances are you’ve been dealing with these emotions for a while now. Know that you are not alone. There are many reasons that people divorce. Here are a few of them:

Lack of communication. When you are unable to communicate with your partner, you create distance. This can be from lack of sharing feelings, or not keeping your partner in the loop about what’s happening with you emotionally. A successful relationship is one that has open lines of communication. Otherwise it can feel like nothing is ever resolved, and as if you aren’t even talking about why things can’t be resolved. Additionally, chances are you both feel as if something is being left unsaid. These feelings can multiply over time and become much larger than they were at the beginning. You might consider working with a relationship therapist to learn how to communicate effectively.

Financial Issues. Money, and lack of it, can lead to a lot of problems in relationships. Often times two people have very different mindsets when it comes to saving and spending. If you and your spouse are not in agreement when it comes to how to manage your money, it can cause a lot of problems. Sit down and have an open conversation about how you relate to money and what your goals are. You might find one spouse wants to save to buy a house or to go on a big vacation, while the other spouse would rather go out to dinner every night of the week and have a closet filled with amazing clothes. You might have different goals, and neither one is wrong. Try to find a middle ground. You might also want to speak with a financial adviser that can take a look at your financial situation and advise you on how to move forward based on your joint goals.

Feeling Held Back. When you first started dating your spouse you may have felt as if the sky was the limit, or maybe you felt like you needed to change yourself a little for him or her. Over the course of a marriage things can change. You might feel now as if your spouse and marriage are holding you back from achieving goals and taking opportunities. If you don’t feel supported by your spouse you can begin to feel as if you are being held back from really accomplishing what you want to during your lifetime. Try to get a clear-headed assessment. Are you really being held back? Or maybe it’s just how you are perceiving the situation. An open conversation might be the best place to start.

Trust. Trust is one of the leading factors in having a successful relationship and marriage. It can be impossible to achieve anything if you do not trust each other. Ask yourself if there’s a reason for the lack of trust. Was there an infidelity or past infidelities? Or are you just reading into things? Try to get a clear head about why there is not trust in your relationship. Maybe working with a relationship therapist can help you both deal with any trust issues.

Expectations. If you expected one thing at the beginning of the relationship and you aren’t getting it now, or your expectations have changed, you might find that you aren’t as happy in your relationship as you could be.

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Your spouse doesn’t understand or fulfill your needs and desires. We all have different needs and wants that need to be met by the significant other in our lives. If you have a partner that doesn’t acknowledge your interests and desires then they won’t do what they can to fulfill your needs and wants.

Sudden Life Change. New changes happen at every moment in our lives. This can be the birth of a child, death of a parent, sudden job loss, a new opportunity for a job across the country. You will both need to be adaptable and know how to be supportive of each other. Life is unplanned, but you should be able to plan that your spouse will be there to support you whether its a good change or a difficult one.

Domestic Violence If you’ve been in a situation, or are currently in a situation, where your partner has been abusive or controlling in any manner, you should consider seeking help. If need be, contact a trusted family, friend, or an attorney about this matter.

So, why January?

While there are numerous reasons for divorce, that still doesn’t explain why January is such a peak month.

What does explain it are the holidays, and what the holiday season can mean. Often couples just want to “get through the holidays.”

According to McLaren, “It doesn’t look very good to sue your spouse for divorce on Christmas Eve.” Additionally, courts are not necessarily open during the holiday season like they are during the rest of the year. “You do not want to file a divorce case and be faced with the inability to get into court.”

Other couples decide to wait till January so that kids are able to spend one more holiday season all together. In some ways, couples view it as “the last Christmas.”

And according to Abby Rodman, a psychotherapist based in Boston, there really is no perfect time to get divorced. “Most marriages aren’t all bad, all the time,” she says.

Legal Separation

While divorce might seem like the only option, remember that legal separation is also available. Legal separation allows couples to live apart and take a “break” from each other, while also ensuring that each spouse’s legal rights are protected via a legal separation agreement. Legal separations can also be called: “judicial separation”, “separate maintenance”, “divorce a mensa et thoro“, or “divorce from bed-and-board.” All these terms refer to the legal process by which a married couple formalizes a de facto separation while remaining legally married.

Steps to Follow for Legal Separation

Here are the steps you will take to acquire a legal separation:

  • Consider working with a family law attorney that can advise you on all the necessary steps of your legal separation.
  • You and your spouse will need to decide on grounds for the separation
  • Fill out a Form FL-100 Petition. This form includes options for divorce (dissolution of marriage) or legal separation.
  • If you have children under 18, you will need to complete Form FL-105/GC-120 which provides information to the court regarding children.
  • File Form FL-100 at your local county court. Pay any necessary fees. If you receive public benefits or have low income, you might be eligible for a fee waiver.
  • Serve your spouse with a copy of the court papers if they were not filed together. There will need to be proof of the serving, which can be done through various means such as a process server. A family law attorney can advise you on how to obtain this proof.

Sign a Formal Legal Separation Agreement

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It’s always advised that you sign a formal legal separation agreement. This agreement outlines child support and visitation, property division, and any other aspect of a marriage.  An attorney will be able to prepare this legal and binding document. This will offer you legal protection should your spouse fail to live up to his or her obligations and will also also hold up in court.

The following should be included in the legal separation agreement:

Spousal Support

Benefits – With legal separation spouses are able to retain certain benefits that were available during the marriage, such as health insurance.

Home Residency – If a couple shares a home, it should be decided at this time what will happen to the residency during the separation. The agreement should include information regarding who is able to live in the home, who is responsible for maintaining the home, and who is financially handling the home.

Joint Accounts – A legal separation agreement outlines who has access to those joint accounts such as joint checking, savings, and credit accounts. It’s often advised to close or freeze these accounts during the separation. Each spouse will then need to obtain their own personal accounts.

Protection from Acquired Debt – A legal separation agreement will shield you from being responsible for debt acquired during the time of the legal separation.

Deciding on Divorce

If following your legal separation, or if you just decide after the holidays that you want to divorce, it’s always advised that you consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

 

Categories
Child Custody Child Support Child Visitation Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce Marital Property Division Mediation Spousal Support

Divorce and Your Bank Account

No one has ever said that divorce is a cheap process. For the most part, if you and your spouse are unable to come to a decision on things, divorce can be an expensive process with an expensive aftermath.

To Consider Before You Divorce

If you are unhappy and unable to continue your marriage, then divorce might be the best option for you. There are some financial considerations you will need to make. Here’s a little of what you can expect:

  • Living as a single person costs more. This can be increasingly true for couples that share children.
  • Your standard of living might drop because of increased living costs that are no longer being shared.

But there are ways to minimize the financial damage. You’ll want to review these steps if divorce is in your future.

Minimize Financial Pain During Divorce

Work with a Lawyer

Negotiation versus Litigation in a Slip and Fall Case

Even if you have decided that you don’t want to work with an attorney, at least consult one so that you are aware of your rights and options. You need to protect yourself. Even the most amicable of divorces can get sticky when it comes to ironing out the legal ramifications and you’ll want to do the best you can when it comes to protecting yourself. Remember that bitterness can cause people to do things they wouldn’t normally. Most lawyers offer a free first consultation.

Look at Your Credit Reports

You are able to pull free credit reports three times a year. These reports show all of the credit accounts that exist in your name, in addition to those you share with others. You’ll want to look for new accounts opened in your name and any changes that are unexpected. Your credit score can be damaged by a spouse that fails to pay joint bills.

Close and Monitor Your Joint Accounts

A lot of times divorcing spouses will move money from joint accounts to individual accounts so that the other spouse is unable to recover the cash. A lot of times this leads to large amounts of debt on joint credit cards, for which the innocent spouse is also responsible for.

The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau says:

When you have a joint account, each account holder is responsible for the full amount of the balance. The card issuer can seek to collect the amount due from either account holder.

Because of this, it’s advised that you close or freeze your shared financial accounts, including credit cards, joint bank accounts, and lines of credit. You will then need to open lines of credit under your own name. You might consider moving to new institutions to avoid confusion. If your spouse is resistant to this, try to do it on your own by consulting the account rules in the contract you signed when opening the account. You can also ask your bank to help.

Remember to also remove your spouse’s name as an authorized user from your personal accounts.

If you must retain a shared account because of costs related to children, try to limit it to one. Make sure to monitor the activity on the car by requesting balances and records of the most recent transactions. You can do this from an ATM, bank branch, or online.

Document Your Money — All of It

Try to locate every single marital financial resource, including:

  • All accounts and assets held jointly and individually. Record the balance, date, account number, authorized users, and contact information for each bank or creditor.
  • Incomes, property, retirement plans and all other assets owned jointly and individually. This should include vehicles, homes, jewelry, furniture, brokerage accounts, and insurance policies.

Make sure you keep everything in one place. Regardless of if you work with a lawyer or not, the court will need statements and documents pertaining to all accounts, assets, bills and debts. Organize everything in a file cabinet. Include:

  • 401(k) statements
  • Insurance policies
  • Real estate purchases
  • Mortgages and refinances
  • House appraisals
  • Brokerage accounts
  • Money market accounts
  • Tax returns

Work with a Divorce Financial Analyst

You might consider working with a divorce financial analyst that can help with your settlement by:

  • Locating assets. This also includes hidden assets.
  • Ensuring information about family finances is accurate and complete.
  • Developing a long-term forecast of how your divorce will affect your finances when it comes to retirement needs, tax liabilities, and benefits.
  • Developing a realistic household budget so that you know where you stand in terms of life insurance, health insurance, and cost-of-living increases.
  • Appraising and/or valuing assets.
  • Preparing financial affidavits that describe your financial and tax implications when it comes to various divorce settlement options.
  • Mediating a financial agreement between you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

Get Your Name on the Deed

Regardless of if you are getting divorced or not, make sure your name is on titles and deeds of property you own together. This is important for all spouses, and can become an issue in cases of a spouse passing away.

This property is considered marital property in the state of California, and will need to be divided should you divorce your spouse.

When it comes to dividing assets during a divorce there are various concerns you will need to deal with when it comes to dividing the marital property.

What State do you Live in?

Keep a Journal in Your Personal Injury Case

State laws govern how the marital property will be divided. You will need to do your research and check with an attorney to see if you live in an equitable distribution state or a community property state.

Other Considerations

There are four other steps that need to be considered when diving marital property:

  1. Identify the assets owned by you and your spouse
  2. Categorize all assets as marital or non-marital property
  3. A value will need to be assigned to the assets
  4. Devise a plan for the division of assets that is in accordance with state laws

No Fault Divorce Laws

Though most states separate the division of marital property from grounds for divorce due to no fault divorce laws, most states do consider any financial misconduct when it comes to dividing marital property. What this means is if you or your spouse has foolishly spent money then you or your spouse will most likely be penalized when it comes to dividing marital property.

Separate Join Financial Obligations

If you feel the division of marital assets might be a contentious point between you are your spouse, you might want to consider separating financial obligations prior to starting the divorce process. Marital property does not only mean furniture and household items, but also joint credit accounts. Each spouse should have access to a complete set of all financial documents. You’ll also want to close all joint credit card accounts. If you’re not able to fully separate the accounts, draft a formal written agreement outlining the activity on the remaining joint accounts. Freeze any investment assets – this will ensure neither spouse misuses funds until everything has been agreed upon. You might also want to consider changing the title on your home to read “tenants in common” until the final agreement regarding marital property has been decided upon.

Change Beneficiaries & Rewrite Your Will

After your divorce you will need to change the beneficiary on your assets, including  insurance or stocks, bank accounts or retirement accounts. You’ll also want to update your will too if it lists your spouse’s name.

Have a Financial Plan

You’ll need to know how to budget according to your new income amount. Putting this together before entering the divorce process will help you understand your needs following the divorce so you can come to a settlement that works.

Make sure you plan for college tuition, child care, children’s lessons, sports and activities, and your own retirement, taxes, transportation and housing.

Financial Future

Considering your financial situation after your divorce can feel daunting and overwhelming, but if you take the right steps, you can be sure to set yourself up for financial freedom. It might take some tweaks, but consider the fact that you are now completely in charge and able to make your own decisions regarding how your money will be spent. Embrace it, and embrace the freedom you now have.

A Family Law Attorney

When it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Child Custody Child Support Child Visitation Family Law Mediation

The End of the Rutherford Custody Battle

It seems like the end has been reached in Kelly Rutherford’s custody battle. Last week a judge ruled that the Gossip Girl actress would not receive custody of the two children she shares with ex-husband Daniel Giersch. She has also been further barred from bringing them to the United States.

The End of the Rutherford Custody Battle

The Rutherford-Giersch battle has long been a subject of tabloid fodder.

In December 2008, when Rutherford was only three months pregnant with Helena, she initiated the divorce proceedings, citing “irreconcilable differences.” As she has said in an interview with Vanity Fair, “I didn’t want any money from Daniel. I wanted us both to be great parents. I wasn’t asking for full custody.”

Instead the actress sought 50-50 legal custody, with her as the primary residential parent. But Giersch did not agree with that decision. Instead he sued for Giersch went further. He sued for sole legal and physical custody of Hermes and of the not-yet-born infant daughter, Helena.

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In 2012, a judge decided Kelly Rutherford and Daniel Giersch share joint custody of their two children. The kids would live in Monaco and France with their father because his visa had been revoked. But now, three years later, it seems the custody battle is over, at least for now.

As a result of the latest hearing, full custody of Hermes, 9, and Helena, 6, has been granted to Rutherford’s ex-husband Daniel Giersch. And according to People magazine, Rutherford will only be able to visit her children if she goes to Monaco or France.

When asked how she feels about the judge’s decision, she answered, “I think like any parent would feel.”

Expected Ruling

But according to experts, the latest ruling was to be expected.

Last August, a Los Angeles court said it no longer had jurisdiction over the custody dispute. Then, New York courts declined jurisdiction.

In response and furstration Rutherford, who founded the Children’s Justice Campaign to help families with similar across-nation legal issues, refused to send her children back to Giersch after spending the summer in New York with their mother. She contended that, since California had dropped jurisdiction and New York had declined it, no American court would be able to force her to send her children back to her husband in Monaco.

“I have decided that I cannot lawfully send my children away from the United States to live in a foreign country,” she wrote in a statement. Manhattan Supreme Court Judge Ellen Frances Gesmer did not agree with the actress, and instead ordered her to return the children to their father. Judge Gesmer also said she did not “look kindly upon” Rutherford’s failure to comply with the previous court orders to return the children at the end of their summer vacation with her.

And according to legal experts, Rutherford’s failure to comply most likely lost this custody battle for her. Michael Stutman, head of the family family group at Mishcon de Reya New York believe’s “Kelly’s failure to deliver the children… likely bought them a one-way ticket to Monaco. Given Kelly’s initial failure to send the children back, showing up without them was probably the nail in her coffin.”

He went on to say that, “The actions of Ms. Rutherford leading up to this ruling make the decision to award custody to Mr. Giersch the furthest thing from a surprise.”

He added, “Any responsible lawyer would advise her to end this crusade for custody.”

Fighting for Custody

As Kelly Rutherford knows, the battle for custody of your children can be heartbreaking. If you are facing this kind of battle, you’ll want to know what types of custody are available, and what you will need to do to retain custody of your children.

There are different forms of child custody: legal custody, physical custody, sole custody, and joint custody.

Physical Custody

Physical custody means a parent has gained the legal right (typically through a court ruling) to have a child live with him or her. Usually if a parent has physical custody they also have sole custody of the child, which means the other parent has visitation rights.

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Sole Custody

There are two forms of sole custody a parent can have: sole legal custody or sole physical custody. Courts seem to be moving away from awarding sole custody to one parent as more information is coming out about the importance of having both parents in a child’s life. In cases where a parent has been deemed unfit due to a history of neglect or abuse, a known dependency on drugs or alcohol, or a new parented that has been deemed unfit, a court will usually award sole physical custody to one parent.  It’s advised that unless a parent has demonstrated the above issues, that you do not seek sole custody, due to the importance of having both parents in a child’s life.

While the trend is to award joint custody, in cases where courts do award sole physical custody the parents still usually share joint legal custody (which means both parents are able to make legal decisions regarding the child), unless a parents has been deemed unfit to make those legal decisions.

Legal Custody

Legal custody allows a parent to make decisions regarding various aspects of a child’s life, including: education, religion, and medical care or legal issues.

Joint Custody

Joint custody is abel to be awarded to the parents if they are divorced, separated, no longer living together, or if they never lived together but still shared a child. The awarding of joint custody to both parents means each parent is able to make decisions regarding the child. Joint custody also comes in various forms, including: joint legal custody, joint physical custody, or joint legal and physical custody. Usually if a couple shares joint physical custody they also share joint legal custody. But if a couple shares joint legal custody they do not always also share joint physical custody.

Learning How to Co-Parent

One of the hardest things that Kelly Rutherford and Daniel Giersch will need to eventually develop is a co-parenting relationship. This will be especially hard since they live on separate ends of the world, and even more difficult because of their already strained relationship.

“The biggest obstacles to successful co-parenting are emotions,” says Alisa Peskin-Shepherd, principal of Transitions Legal, a family law practice that specializes in mediative divorce. “Emotional obstacles are usually anger, resentment and jealousy. Often parents have a hard time separating those feelings toward their former spouse from their attempt to focus on their children.”

The idea of focusing on your children might seem obvious, but that can be really difficult when you receive that text from your ex that makes you want to throw your phone directly into their face. There are some tips that can help though! Here are some tips from parents who have actually found the magic combination to a successful (meaning they don’t completely resent each other) co-parenting situation.

Do YOU Need a  ‘Timeout’?

If you are not able to give yourself a timeout, and find that you are still stewing about conversing with your ex, consult a “co-parenting coordinator,” attorney or counselor – with or without your ex-spouse. This objective third party can be a great sounding board for ironing out your co-parenting relationship.

“Our expectations that two people who didn’t get along when they are married will suddenly be able to co-parent without some help is not reasonable,” Peskin-Shepherd says.

According to Alison Willet, a Birmingham resident and psychologist who has worked with high-conflict divorce, it is crucial for ex-spouses to heal fully from the pain that stems from their divorce if they plan to find a way to co-parent effectively.”

Play to Your Ex’s Strengths (This Might Be Very Difficult)

By now you know what your ex is good and and what they’re not so good at. So play fair when it comes to your kids and your ex’s abilities.

“You probably know your ex-spouse better than anyone else,” says Chris Tucker, father of Finn, 9, and Simon, 7, and step-dad to Lucas, 6. “Play to those strengths – not in a manipulative way, but in a spirit of making the best use of one another’s talents.”

Cooperation Is Key

This can be the hardest part of a co-parenting relationship – cooperating.

According to mother Shaindle Braunstein-Cohen, “Effective co-parenting does not require friendship, but it does require cooperation.”

Get it in Writing

Peskin-Shepherd advises parents to put everything in writing. That means that all plans and agreements should be kindly communicated to the other parent. This should be part of your working situation. If it’s in writing, it is harder for one person to argue about the agreed arrangement. This should be done for even the smallest things if you know that there is potential for arguments later down the road. This is especially necessary for vacation time and scheduling, agreements regarding financial decisions, and paying for child’s needs. A majority of these things will be part of your child custody agreement, but anything that comes up out side of that should also be agreed to in writing.

Set High Intentions

Keely Henry dealt with an ugly divorce. She did not want it to affect her son, Sullivan, 8. “I knew I could not let this ugly experience lead our lives,” she says. “I was going to have to communicate with my ex over the course of our son’s life. The only thing to do was set the ideal on a higher notion, above emotional distress.”

Because of that, Henry and her ex decided to celebrate holidays and birthdays with Sully together, which means including Henry’s new life partner and her ex’s partner, the woman that her husband left her for. “We all collaborate on my son’s parenting, with his dad and I as the final sayers,” she says. “It really is simple. Set the goal for the higher, not the lower.”

Let Go of Wanting Control

Even thirteen years after their divorce, Jodi Rubin and her ex-husband disagree about the same things they did not agree about when they were married. But they’ve been able to reach a place of mutual respect that allows them to co-parent their three children, Jordan, 19, Paige, 15, and Ethan, 13.

“It’s not about you,” says Rubin. “Instead of worrying about each other, worry about the kids. It’s a parent’s job to turn their children into productive and emotionally healthy adults, and you can’t do that if you’re focused on each other.”

Silence your Support System

Your friends and family will want to defend you, but there’s nothing helpful about your mother sending your ex a nasty email. The support system should remain impartial, and if they’re not, you need to intervene.

Keep Your Ego in Check

It goes without saying that you’re going to doubt your parenting ability and fear that your children will want to be with the other parent. But you have to resist the urge.

“It’s easy to see your ex-spouse as a threat,” says Tucker. “Remind yourself that your ex is also your children’s parent and would also step in front of a bus for them. Trust that they also have your children’s best interests at heart.”

Working with a Child Custody Attorney

If you are facing a child custody dispute, you should contact a child custody attorney. Because there are a lot of rules surrounding child custody and there are a lot of aspects that factor into child custody decisions, working with a child custody attorney can help you through the process.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

 

Categories
Divorce Family Law

Fa-la-la-la-la-divorce

‘Tis the season for… divorce. While divorces are most commonly seen in the first few months of the year, it’s the stressful holiday season that is often the straw that breaks the marriage’s back. If you are considering divorce as your New Year’s Resolution, you’ll want to know the steps for how to obtain one.

Steps of the Divorce Process

Whatever your reason for considering divorce, there are set steps you will need to take to get divorced. Hence, we bring you a “how-to” for getting divorced.

Step 1: Decide How to Proceed18640254_s

How you begin your divorce will be dependent on the particulars of your marriage and your relationship. A divorce of a marriage where the spouses have been married for a short period of time, have no children, and little property or debts is typically less involved than a divorce where the couple has been married for a long period of time, shares minor children, or where there is significant property or debt to be divided. If both parties are seeking the divorce, the process will most likely be easier, versus a situation where one spouse is contesting the divorce.  You will need to take a look at your specific situation in order to best gauge how you want to proceed.

Step 2: The Divorce Petition 

To start the divorce process one of the spouses must file a divorce petition. Even if both spouses are in agreement, one of them must file a petition that states the grounds of the divorce with the court asking for the divorce. Grounds for the divorce vary from state to state. California is a no-fault state, meaning no fault is placed on either party regardless of infidelity, etc…  But all jurisdictions allow for some type of no-fault grounds such as “irreconcilable differences.” Some states will consider fault grounds for divorce, such as adultery or abandonment. A family law attorney will be able to advise you your state specific laws regarding grounds for divorce

Step 3: Temporary Orders 

If one spouse is seeking to receive financial support (as alimony) or custody of children, that spouse will need to ask the court for temporary orders for that support and custody. This temporary order is usually granted within a few days of the initial petition and will remain in effect until the full divorce court hearing. If the party seeking the temporary order is the same party who is filing the divorce petition, it’s advised that they file both the divorce petition and the temporary order at the same time. If you are not the party that filed the divorce petition, but are looking for support or child custody, you should file your request for that support as soon as possible.

Step 4: Proof of Service and Responding

Once a spouse files for divorce he or she also needs to file for a proof of service of process. This document proves that a copy of the divorce petition was given to the other party. Your family law attorney can help ensure this is done, or you can work with a process server. If both spouses have agreed to divorce, it’s usually the spouse that files the divorce that arranges for the the  service of process to the other party’s attorney.

When the service of process is received, that spouse needs to file a response to the divorce petition. In states where grounds for divorce can be filed, this response is where to address or dispute those grounds for divorce. Also, if the spouse receiving the petition has any disagreement with the put forth property division, support, custody terms, or any other issue, this should be added to the response.

Step 5: Negotiating

When two spouses are not in agreement on child custody and visitation, child support, property division and any spousal support, they will need to find a way to negotiate the terms of their divorce. Disagreeing spouses might consider working with a meditation lawyer, as it is in their best interest to work out as much as possible out of court. This will help to cut down on legal fees and time spent arguing. The negotiation process is the hardest part of the divorce process. As we all know from public divorce disputes, the negotiations can sometimes take years if a couple is not able to come to an agreement.

Step 6: Order of Dissolution

Once everything is decided upon an order of dissolution is created that outlines out how the property and debts are to be divided, what child custody and visitation schedule is, what support payments (spousal and child) need to be paid, and any other aspects that have been agreed on. If the spouses are able to negotiate their own resolution to all of these aspects, their lawyers will draft the order of dissolution and submit it to the court. If the Order of Dissolution complies with legal requirements and both parties entered into it knowingly and willingly and can attest to it, then the judge approves it. At this point, the divorce is finalized.

Final Step: Move Forward

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A divorce can shatter your life if you let it. So don’t let it.

Every day you can move forward with a few small steps and a plan to succeed. Making small steps every day like the ones outlined below will change your post-divorce life.

Get Out of Survival Mode

 Are you just trying to survive?

It’s time to take your life back into your own hands. Here are some first steps to making that giant leap into your new life:

  • Wake up
  • Get yourself in the zone
  • Get yourself moving
  • Eat well
  • Get ready and inspired
  • Get perspective
  • Do something that will move you forward

Get Enough Sleep

Getting the right amount of sleep can help you have a longer life, increased creativity, memory, attention, and focus. It can help to lower stress and your risk for depression.

Find Clarity and Abundance

You need to focus on moving forward toward the positive things in your life. What you set your focus on expands. After waking up from a restful night’s sleep, prayer and meditation can help you orient yourself toward the positive.

Get Some Physical Activity

Regular exercise is can decrease your chance of depression, anxiety, and stress. It’s also been linked to higher success in people’s careers. Any form of exercise works: the gym, yard work, cleaning. Just get your body moving and every aspect of your life will thrive.

Eat/Drink 30 Grams of Protein

Eating protein first thing decreases cravings for white carbohydrates (the type of carbs that can make you fat. Food rich in protein will help you feel fuller for longer because they take longer for the body to digest. Protein also keeps blood-sugar levels steady, and thus prevents hunger spikes.

Take A Cold Shower

Cold water immersion has been shown to radically facilitate physical and mental wellness with regular practice. It not only changes your body’s immune, lymphatic, circulatory and digestive systems, but it can also increase weight-loss because it boosts your metabolism.

Those who do this report feeling an increase in willpower, creativity, motivation, and inspiration.

Listen to or Read Uplifting Content

Seek to learn and be educated. Some of the world’s most successful people read at least one book per week. You don’t eve have to read – you can listen to an audiobook. Even 15-30 minutes a morning of uplifting and instructive information can change you. Just think about how much that will amount to over time. And just consider the amount of knowledge and life-perspective  you will have gained.

Get Some Goals

Reviewing your goals  a few minutes a day can put your day into perspective. Chances are some things have changed after your divorce. Take some time to re-focus your energy on what you really want to accomplish.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

Whatever your reason is for divorce, you should consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Child Custody Child Support Divorce Family Law

Sherri Shepherd’s Child Support Ruling

A Pennsylvania court of appeals has ruled to uphold Sherri Shepherd’s child support ruling. The television personality and actress will be legally responsible for the son born to a surrogate that her and her ex-husband hired.

Sherri Shepherd’s Child Support Ruling

Last week a Pennsylvania appeals court ruled to uphold the surrogacy contract that Sherri Shepherd signed in 2014. Shepherd had made a motion to have the contract voided as well as have her name removed from the child’s birth certificate. But since a judge upheld the initial ruling, Shepherd will continue to pay $4,100 a month in child support to ex-husband Lamar Sally. Sally is a writer and substitute teacher who is raising the couple’s 1-year-old son in Los Angeles. The boy was born in August 2014.

“She doesn’t want to be part of his life. It’s all good,” said Sally following the ruling. “I’m going to be parent enough for the both of us.”

Shepherd and Sally Divorce

The couple’s divorce became especially contentious when Shepherd challenged the surrogacy contract partway through the pregnancy after deciding to split from her husband. Sally then publicly accused the comedienne of refusing to have anything to do with the baby.

“I don’t understand why Sherri can say I duped her into this or that she is not responsible for this child,” said Sally in an interview with The Daily Mail. “It’s mind-boggling to me.”

The couple had paid over $105,000 for a suburban Philadelphia surrogate to carry the child. The child was conceived through a procedure that combined Sally’s sperm and a donor egg. Both Sally and Shepherd attended the surrogate’s medical appointments until the couple decided to end their marriage during the second trimester.

Defrauded

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Shepherd alleged that Sally defrauded her when they were in the process of entering the surrogate agreement. Reportedly, Sally was already planning to file for divorce, but he wanted her to commit to paying child support prior to filing. Even more complicated is the fact that the two filed for divorce in two separate states: he in California, and her in New Jersey – a state that doesn’t typically recognize surrogacy agreements.

It was thought that if Shepherd was able to corroborate the claims of fraud that she would be able to prove she had been duped into signing the surrogate contract. This latest ruling proves that was not possible.

Birth Certificate

The original birth certificate listed the surrogate as the mother, instead of Shepherd. When Sally settled in California with the child, California authorities were prompted to seek child support from the surrogate, according to Sally’s lawyer, Tiffany Palmer.

Shepherd will now be listed as the legal mother on the birth certificate, a decision that the surrogacy agency has praised.

“Surrogates don’t want to feel that someone could want a baby and then just back out. The surrogate is not the mother,” said Melissa B. Brisman, who owns Reproductive Possibilities in Montvale, N.J.

Palmer went on to say that Pennsylvania courts had never ruled on the validity of surrogacy contracts. And some states have refused to uphold surrogacy contacts in the past.

“It’s a tremendous relief to many people,” said Palmer.

“(Shepherd) does not dispute that she freely entered into the gestational carrier contract,” the Superior Court ruling said. “Baby S. would not have been born but for (her) actions and express agreement to be the child’s legal mother.”

Child Support

Many divorcing couples will need to decide on child support. Child support is an amount of money that a court requires a parent, or both parents, to pay each month in order to support a child’s, or children’s living expenses. While you are free to determine child support on your own, many couple’s find this a difficult decision to make, and often one that they cannot see eye to eye on. Often times this leads to a trial, during which a judge will determine a child support court order. This is often part of the child custody case. While you might not want to enter into a child custody case, it’s important to remember that if you do, the court can provide you with certain legal rights that will legally ensure your time with your children.

A Note About Child Custody

Children, Sports, and the Increasing Number of Brain Injuries

Getting a child custody order can legally give you the right to make decisions regarding your child, as well as allow you the legal right to have your child live with you. Without a child custody order, you might not legally have the ability to do these things, even if you are the parent that takes care of the child on a daily basis. Filing for child custody is not without risks though. If you decide to file, there’s a chance the other parent will request these rights. At that point it will be up to the judge to decide.

When a judge decides, he or she typically rules in favor of what’s in the best interest of the child. Many decisions go into the awarding of child custody. And a court will sit down and evaluate the case objectively, with a focus on the facts that are presenting. These facts include: the history of each parent’s relationship with the child, any evidence of abuse or neglect, a detailed understanding of the child’s health, safety, education, and general welfare. A court will also take a look at the current status quo arrangement. From this outsiders perspective, a judge will be able to rule based on the child’s best interest. 

Once custody is awarded, it is often then decided who and how much a parent will pay for child support.

Child Support Payments

After you have received a child support  court order, the other parent is legally required to start making child support payments to you. The court order you receive will include the start date for the child support payments. The payments will be paid monthly, and will be taken out of the other parent’s paycheck.

Wage Assignment and Garnishment

Every child support case where child support is awarded, the court will order a wage assignment or wage garnishment be issued and served. This wage assignment requires that the other parent’s employer takes the support payments out of the other parent’s wage.

Local Child Support Agencies

If the local child support agency (LCSA) is not involved in the child support case, both parents are allowed to agree that the child support payments be made in other ways, rather than a wage assignment. This means the wage assignment is “stayed,” or put on hold. Parents are then responsible for working out how the child support payments will be made. But if a LCSA is involved, the LCSA must agree to having the wage assignment “stayed.”  Typically, if a LCSA is involved, the agency will keep the wage assignment in place.

Falling Behind

If you are not able to make your child support payments and you fall behind, you are required to pay interest on the balance due in addition to the amount you owe. A judge is not able to remove this charge, as interest charges are added per the law. Interest charges are added by law, and the judge cannot stop them. Interest rates are as follows: 10 percent per year for child support due on or after January 1, 1983; or 7 percent per year for child support due before January 1, 1983.

Past-Due Child Support

If you owe past-due child support/arrears, your court order/wage assignment/garnishment, will include the full amount of owed monthly child support. This amount over your monthly child support is called a “liquidation amount. It goes to paying off the past-due amount/arrears. This amount goes to paying off your arrears. Even if you are paying this off in installments, interest will still be added to your balance.

Consequences

Not paying child support means serious consequences.  You can be found to be “in contempt of court” if it is discovered you have the means to pay and are not. This can result in jail time.

Ending Child Support

Typically, court-ordered child support will end when a child turns 18 years old, or if he or she graduates from high school. If an 18-year-old child still lives with parents and is a full-time high school student the support will end when he or she turns 19 or graduates – whichever comes first. Child support also terminates once a child: Marries or registers a domestic partnership, joins the military, is emancipated,  or passes away. If both parents agree, they can decide to no longer support a child.

Working with a Family Law Lawyer

Working with a child custody lawyer might be in your best interest if you decide to pursue a child custody case or child support case. A lawyer will be able to help you decide your best course of action based on your situation. Additionally, it’s important to remember that filing for child custody does not necessarily mean you get child support. But a child custody order does not automatically give you child support.

For advice on child custody or child support, you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Divorce Family Law

Couple Takes “Divorce Selfie”

Sure, we know that selfies are “the thing” now, but is it really “the thing” you want to do to commemorate your divorce? If you’re one Canadian couple, it’s the exact thing you do.

Couple Takes “Divorce Selfie”

Last week, Canadian couple Shannon and Chris Neuman decided that taking a selfie was exactly the way to commemorate their divorce.

“Here’s Chris Neuman and I yesterday after filing for divorce! But we’re smiling?! Yep, we’re kooky like that,” said Shannon in a Facebook post.

Sure, it’s a little odd, but maybe it’s exactly the type of attitude that you need to move forward with your own divorce.

Finding the Silver Lining in Your Divorce

It goes without saying that divorce is a difficult process. Whether or not there are kids involved, as they were in this couple’s relationship, a number of thing need to be worked out: child custody arrangements, child support, spousal support, marital property division. A family law attorney will be able to help you with these aspects of ending a marriage. But you’ll also need help working through the tougher parts of ending a marriage: emotionally tiring and stressful aspects of ending a mrriage. It not only changes your entire lifestyle, it changes you. If you can step back, you might just realize how it changes you in a good way. Here are some positive aspects of a divorce that you may want to consider. In the end, you might just be grateful for the little things that you learned from going through one of the hardest processes you could go through.

You, After Divorce

Maturity
Sure, you have to legally be an adult before you can get married, but that doesn’t make you mature. If you had to take a maturity test before tying the knot, chances are marriage wouldn’t even exist. In truth, we often enter marriage still in a childlike state due to the faith we’ve put into the idea of “soul mates” and the fairy-tale romances we’ve been told that end in happily ever after. We might have been blind to the fact that marriage requires a whole ton of effort, and on your part, not the part of a fairy godmother. There’s also a good chance we never set down the wounds of our childhood. Those patterns that we picked up as children (yeah, those ones we never dealt with) all get taken along with us, becoming patterns that impact our marriages and adulthood.

Divorce is like the evil step-queen, yelling in your tear-streamed face. She’s not going to let you go on being the prince or princess that you thought you were. You’re going to have to create some magic of your own, on your own, perhaps for the very first time in your life.

Confidence After Divorce

Divorce can knock your confidence level down to zilch. You’re probably feeling pretty defeated because you weren’t able to hold your marriage together. And if infidelity played a part, then you’re also wondering where you fell short and why your ex-spouse decided to look elsewhere. All that, plus the idea that the whole dating scene has completely changed and now you have to get back out into, can lower your confidence level to below zilch. It’s terrible. But that’s only the first half of the story. Here’s when you re-write the second half.

When you successfully complete something that in your mind you just knew you could not do, you gain confidence. Having to re-frame your assumptions about your weaknesses and limitations, forces you to find a way to believe in yourself. Facing your fears and surviving gives you strength. And after battling through opposition you can emerge, sure, bruised and battered, but knowing that you didn’t give up.

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Perspective
Yup, it’s true, hindsight is 20/20. You have to walk through something, get a far way ahead of it, and only then can you look back and see just how important that process was. At that point you can see the beginning, the middle, and the end, and how that end is so clear and empty of emotional and clutter. Take this new clarity and run with it. That perspective can give you amazing information you need to change your own behaviors and to improve your future relationships.

Gratitude After Divorce

After you lose everything, you take nothing for granted. Divorce can be like losing everything:  past memories, your present marriage, and future dreams. Let that be your determination to survive. But this is also a time to lean on friends and family that stepped up and stood by. They will lift you up, even when you can’t lift yourself. Be grateful for them, and try to show them that you are. If not now, then try to later.

Empathy
When you have felt pain, you honor and respect that pain in others. Divorce can make you more empathetic towards people facing any form of loss. You will move towards acceptance and forgiveness of your situation and your ex. And with this movement will come the ability to see things from other people’s viewpoints, making you a better friend, and a better person to be in a relationship with (down the line, when you are ready for one).

Divorce wipes away the ego that believes it’s shameful to ask for help. After you admonish this, you will be able to accept help for yourself, and then be able to offer help to others who are in need.

Responsibility
It’s easy to blame your ex, to place the responsibility for the divorce in his or her hands. We also might realize that all too often we have looked to them to provide happiness, or support for making decisions. This interdependency ends with divorce. It’s good to be interdependent, but divorce requires that you learn to be independent. You’re going to be steering this ship on your own. You’re going to have to be responsible for your own things now: happiness, support, etc. Let this empower you though, rather than make you feel lost or scared. You’re completely in control now. You can change. It’s your life now.

Humility

Divorce teaches us that no matter how much we want something to be true, we can’t force it into being. All those choice you made have consequences. And maybe now you are being forced to see them. Sure, you might have said “divorce will never happen to me,” but now it has. You’re going to have to admit that it can happen to anyone. Let this “slap” of reality force you to embrace acceptance while also redefining expectations. You’re not immune to anything.

Fortitude
Divorce can be a longer process with more setbacks than you had ever imagined before you took that first step. Just when you think that the worst is behind you, BAM! It hits you again. Two steps forward, one step back has never been more true. It takes grit to survive.

Awareness
Divorce can be a wake-up call. Often times people realize they were living in a kind of “auto-pilot” mode when they said their “I dos.” The clarity and awareness you have after saying your “I Un-dos” might provide you with a sense of awareness that wasn’t there before. A lot of people turn to meditation and yoga during divorce because it settles the mind to allow for awareness. This mindfulness and consciousness will be helpful moving forward in your new life.

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Ingenuity
Divorce is also a way to test your abilities… all of them. Your negotiating skills, your financial skills, your balanced budgeting skills, co-parenting abilities. You are the only problem solver now. You will need to work out how to afford your rent on a portion of the budget you once had. You will also need to learn how to co-parent, potentially with an ex you hate (for now). But the more you are placed in these new positions, the better you will become at those tasks.

Wisdom from Divorce
Divorce can be an opportunity for reflection and analysis. You are now raw and ready to learn new ways of doing things, in addition to just learning new ways to move on and cope.

Working with Professionals During and After Divorce

Therapist

There are so many emotional things that you will need to work through when you decide to end your marriage. You might want to consider reaching out to a therapist or life-coach to help you through the emotional aspects. They can coach you on coping techniques and skills that will help you come to terms with your divorce.

A Family Law Attorney

But when it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Divorce Family Law

Tweeting About Your Ex

Last week Halle Berry and Oivier Martinez announced they were divorcing after two years of marriage. In light of last week’s divorce announcement, Berry’s first husband, David Justice decided to announce his frustrations with the “Exant” star via Twitter.

Justice Takes to Twitter to Denounce His Ex

Though David Justice and Halle Berry divorced in 2007 after 4 years of marriage, he still felt the urge to rant about his ex on Twitter, posting this:

 “Me, (second husband) Eric (Benet), (boyfriend) Gabriel (Aubry) and Olivier were all her ‘Knight in Shining Armor’ until it ends. Then we all become the worst guys in history.”

But Justice wasn’t the only one of Berry’s exes to use social media to get stuff off his chest. Shortly after Justice posted his tweet, Berry’s second husband Eric Benet responded with:

“My man at @23davidjustice is tweeting some truth dis’ mornin’!”

Justice then went on to share some advice to Berry’s most recent ex, Olivier:

“Just wait,Olivier..It’s coming! She insinuated that her daughter wasn’t safe around Gabriel..look it up and see the reason!” he wrote, alluding to the custody battle between Berry  and her ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry over their 7-year-old daughter, Nahla.

Berry and Martinez Divorce

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Just a week ago Berry and Martinez, both 49, issued a joint statement announcing that“with a heavy heart” they had decided to end their relationship. The two were wed in 2013 after meeting on the set of Dark Tide in 2010. “We move forward with love and respect for one another and the shared focus for what is best for our son,” they said in the joint statement. “We wish each other nothing but happiness in life, and we hope that you respect our, and most importantly, our children’s privacy, as we go through this difficult period.”

Divorce on Social Media

While it seems that Berry’s exes have no problems posting their frustrations with her online, there are potential consequences for people that want to vent their unhappiness online. Whether updating a Facebook status to call out an ex-wife, or tweeting raves about a judge’s decision, people use social media platforms to tell the world about their lives… and their divorces.

But before you decided to post to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or any other social media, there are some things you need to know – namely how it could potentially affect your divorce and the judge’s decisions.

Social Media as Evidence in Divorce Court

Social media can be a valuable source of evidence in in family law cases involving divorce, child custody, and child support and visitation. It’s not uncommon for people to assume that their Facebook posts, tweets, Instagram photos and other social media activities are more private than they really are. Though people are becoming increasingly more aware of the fact that social media is not as private as they thought, people still continue to post information they otherwise would have never volunteered. This information includes: financial affairs, adultery, improper parenting, and even dangerous or illegal activities such as drug use. It’s all been seen on the internet, and it all still continues to be seen on the internet. 

“Privacy” and Divorce

Many users of social media believe their pages are “private” and thus should not be able to be used in a family law battle. In previous cases, people have claimed that their Facebook profiles should be excluded from judgement or as evidence because they are only shared among a small group of Facebook “friends.” Yet courts continue to reject this argument, determining that there is little to no reasonable expectation of privacy with regards to actions taken on a social media platform. Even creator of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, has stated “privacy is no longer a social norm.”

It’s important to remember that while you can control your privacy settings, the information can still be easily shared. Sometimes parties going through domestic law cases “un-friend” the opposing party. Even then, information can still be shared through mutual friends and family members who are still able to see whatever you post. The information can also still be requested by an attorney. In previous cases such as Offenback v. Bowman, Barnes v. CUS Nashville, LLC, and Largent v. Reed judges have privately reviewed information to determine if information should be disclosed in a case.

Deleting Information

You or your ex-spouse might try to hide evidence by deleting it. But this can be dangerous too. Intentionally deleting information can be legally seen as the destruction of evidence. This can cause even more legal trouble in court. In the case of Lester v. Allied Concrete Co, the court fined both the defendant and his attorney for removing harmful posts and pictures on a Facebook page.

But how did they find out?

In our current social media age, it’s not uncommon for lawyers to take to social media to gather evidence when they are first hired for the case. Often times this means an attorney has social media information long before a person has time to delete or conceal the information. When this evidence “goes missing” and that fact becomes evident in a court of law, the deletion can have larger consequences than the original evidence.

How to Deal with an Ex

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If your ex is continually bashing you online, try to focus on other things. Maybe it now the chance to prove you’re the bigger person by ignoring them.

Here’s some advice from those who have been through it before:

“Here’s my advice: Ignore it and consider the source. Giving him any satisfaction that he’s affecting you will only empower and embolden him to continue his childish tirades. Rise above it all, and show your daughter how a real adult behaves.”
– Diane D.
“The best revenge is to live a happy life. Remember when he bashes you, he is suffering. Smile and enjoy your freedom from this unkind man.”
– Maggie Z.
“I unfriended everyone we had in common, not in life, but on Facebook. I also blocked my ex and his now-wife and people that I knew to be an issue. It didn’t work all at once. It was a gradual change as I never responded to anything they said and I never said anything about them, but over time it seemed to work. And I really don’t care now. His reputation was very important to him, so he went to great lengths to make sure everyone that knows him thinks I am horrible. I just avoid those people and focus on my own life.”
– Heather P.
“I copied everything and printed it. I did block him after that. Judge was NOT happy about it. Of course we are civil now and different than we were over two years ago. But it is unacceptable behavior and it just makes him look horrible to the judge and mostly himself. Someone that bashes an ex like that on social media is a terrible friend to have. People start seeing the terrible side of him and his immature ways. Ignore it, copy EVERYTHING, then block him. Worked well for me.”
– Nichole S.

To Remember

It’s important to remember that just like in a criminal investigation, anything that you say can– and likely will – be used against you. This is especially true when a court is deciding how to award custody of children. If your Facebook wall is filled with images of you partying, chances are the court might take this into consideration. The same goes for if you use your Facebook wall as a way to voice concerns and your irritation about your ex-spouse’s short-comings. A court wants to know that you are capable of taking care of your children and being able to raise them in, ideally, a co-parenting situation.

Consulting a Therapist

If you really feel the need to vent your emotions, you might consider working with a therapist. They can help you work through feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, while also providing an un-judging ear. Best of all, everything is guarded under a patient-therapist agreement which means that they cannot share your feelings. This can be a great way to talk through your emotions without involving anyone else, while also receiving the emotional support that you might be searching for when you vent online.

Consult a Lawyer

As with anything regarding your divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… you should consult a family law attorney. A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

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