Divorce is an emotional time. It can lead to anger, jealousy, guilt, and lots of tears. And just about anything can set it off. But how do you manage it?
Your Brain on Divorce
There’s significant scientific research to show that the emotions you are going through during your divorce are unavoidable. The mind processes threats – either physical or emotional – in the exact same way – via the fight or flight mechanism. So when you are in the middle of that type of stress it makes sense that you’re going to feel a little bit (or a lot a bit) addled and muddled. Your emotions kick in and run wild.
Controlling Your Brain
The amygdala handles your emotions. So during these times of extreme stress it might be best to try and engage your prefrontal cortex – the part of the brain that is rational and processes your ability to reason. Finding a way to “think through” the stress is a powerful tool you’ll need and want to develop. But how?
1. Know the Signs – knowing the telltale signs of when you’re getting stressed out will help you be able to manage the feelings. Is your temperature rising? Pulse racing? Seeing red? Are friends close to you saying it might be time to calm down?
2. Take a Walk – a quick walk or jog can help get out some of that intense energy you’re feeling. A trip to the gym can help you get out the aggression you might be feeling. If anything, try to take some deep breaths while finding that quieter spot in your brain.
3. Relax – if you can’t get out and walk around, try to relax. Focusing on gratefulness or positive memories can help you regain your sane mind.
Working with a Divorce Attorney
Working with a divorce lawyer can help to ease tensions surrounding the divorce process. A divorce lawyer will be able to talk you through the process, as well as provide helpful suggestions on how to build your case and reach an agreement.
Source: The Huffington Post, Your Brain On Divorce, March 4, 2013
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