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Divorce Family Law

If Your Friends are Divorcing, You Might be Next

A new study from Brown University, Harvard University, and University California, San Diego might prove that if your friends are divorcing, your marriage might be next.

If Your Friends are Divorcing, You Might be Next

According to a study, titled “Breaking Up is Hard to Do, Unless Everyone Else is Doing it Too,” a marriage is 75 percent more likely end in divorce if a friend of the couple has been divorced or is going through divorce. It doesn’t even have to be a direct friend – a friend of a friend getting divorced ups your odds by 33 percent.

The study also found that if you’re popular, you’re more at risk of a failed marriage.

Luckily, there is good news for those with children –  it appears children do not influence the likelihood of divorce according to the study. And having more than one child could reduce your chances of getting divorced at all.

Another Option with Divorce: Collaborative Divorce

When people think of divorce, it’s not uncommon for those thoughts to be filled with anxiety, fear of potential bickering and ill will, and fear of lawyers who will drag things out and create hostility between you as a couple. But divorce doesn’t have to be a traumatic process when you follow the process associated with a collaborative divorce.

Collaborative divorce approaches the divorce process from a different place – a place where you can avoid the court system while putting negotiations and decisions into the hands of the spouses. By utilizing specially trained professionals, opuses are able to come to a decision together.

Collaborative Divorce v. Mediation

Collaborative divorce should not be confused with mediation. In mediation, a couple works with one neutral party. But in collaborative divorce, each spouse has their own team of professionals – including their own attorney, financial advisors, etc. Both spouses and their respective teams meet to identify issues and create solutions.  The time it takes to work through the process is heavily dependent on the issues that need to be worked out. The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals did a survey on the duration of the process and found 58 percent of collaborative divorce cases were completed in less than nine months.

Professionals

The types of professionals you will need for your collaborative divorce team will vary based on the specifics of your divorce. Professionals may include:

  • financial neutrals
  • child specialists
  • mental health professionals
  • business valuators
  • real estate evaluators

This team can help you emerge with a solid footing following your divorce. “You can tell who’s gone through the collaborative process vs. litigation,” said Amy Wolff, a specialist in the financial issues associated with divorce. “The clients who have used the collaborative option emerge from the process more ready to focus; they can bounce back more quickly.” Approaching divorce with the mindset of it being “collaborative” can help ease the tensions surrounding the divorce process.

Move Forward

Moving forward after divorce means that every day you will need to purposefully carve out time progress and improve . It’s so easy for life to get sucked into the vacuum of a busy schedule. As Professor Harold Hill once said: “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.”

Get Out of Survival Mode

Following your divorce you might find your life is filled with the nonessential and trivial. Do you check your ex-spouse’s Facebook every day to see if he or she is dating someone new? Do you obsess and get frustrated with every communication that comes from your ex? Are you resentful? How are you channeling all these new feelings? Are you just trying to survive?

It’s time to take your life back into your own hands.

It’s not uncommon to realize that you were living your life on someone else’s terms. But everything is in your hands now. With a lot of work and strong intention you can design your future. You have to realize you are responsible and you must decide to make a change. Here are some first steps to making that giant leap into your new life:

  • Wake up
  • Get yourself in the zone
  • Get yourself moving
  • Eat well
  • Get ready and inspired
  • Get perspective
  • Do something that will move you forward

Get Enough Sleep

Despite the fact that sleep is just as important for life as eating and drinking water, millions of people do not get enough sleep.

According to the National Sleep Foundation (NSF) 40 million Americans suffer from over 70 different sleep disorders. Additionally, 60 percent of adults and 69 percent of children have one or more sleep problems at least a few nights during a week.

It makes sense then that more than 40 percent of adults experience daytime sleepiness that is severe enough to interfere with daily activities at least a few days every month.

Getting the right amount of sleep can help you have a longer life, increased creativity, memory, attention, and focus. It can help to lower stress and your risk for depression.

Bottom line: you need your beauty sleep.

Find Clarity and Abundance

You need to focus on moving forward toward the positive things in your life. What you set your focus on expands. After waking up from a restful night’s sleep, prayer and meditation can help you orient yourself toward the positive.

Focus on what you are grateful for. This could be the fact that you are out of a relationship and marriage that did not serve you. Maybe you’re just grateful for the fact the sun is shining. There are limitless opportunities and possibilities for you. That air of gratefulness will only draw more positive and good to you.

Start every morning by getting yourself into a space of gratitude and clarity.

Get Some Physical Activity

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By now you know you need to get your exercise. Still, according to the Center for Disease Control’s National Health Interview Survey, only one-third of American men and women between the ages of 25 to 64 engage in regular physical activity.

Regular exercise is can decrease your chance of depression, anxiety, and stress. It’s also been linked to higher success in people’s careers. Any form of exercise works: the gym, yard work, cleaning. Just get your body moving and every aspect of your life will thrive.

Eat/Drink 30 Grams of Protein

Eating protein first thing decreases cravings for white carbohydrates (the type of carbs that can make you fat. Donald Layman, professor emeritus of nutrition at the University of Illinois, recommends eating or drinking at least 30 grams of protein for breakfast. In The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss, he recommends getting 30 grams of protein 30 minutes after waking up.

Food rich in protein will help you feel fuller for longer because they take longer for the body to digest. Protein also keeps blood-sugar levels steady, and thus prevents hunger spikes.

According to Ferriss, eat at least 40% of your breakfast calories as protein: two to three whole eggs, turkey bacon, organic pork bacon or sausage, or cottage cheese. You can also do a protein shake made with water. If you follow a vegetarian or vegan diet you can eat legumes, greens, nuts, and seeds.

Take A Cold Shower

Every morning motivational speaker and life coach Tony Robbins jumps into a 57-degree Fahrenheit swimming pool.

Cold water immersion has been shown to radically facilitate physical and mental wellness with regular practice. It not only changes your body’s immune, lymphatic, circulatory and digestive systems, but it can also increase weight-loss because it boosts your metabolism.

A study done in 2007 found that cold water triggers mood-boosting neurochemicals that make people feel happier. The study concluded that because of this, taking cold showers routinely can help treat depression symptoms. Often, cold showers are more effective than prescription medications.

Sure, none of us wants to step into a cold shower, but try to think of it like getting into a swimming pool. The first 20 seconds feels terrible, but once you’ve done it, it’s fine.

Those who do this report feeling an increase in willpower, creativity, motivation, and inspiration.

Do You Have a Life Vision? 

If you haven’t written down your short and long-term goals, you should. Just reviewing them a few minutes a day can put your day into perspective. Chances are some things have changed after your divorce. Take some time to re-focus your energy on what you really want to accomplish.

Reading your long-term goals every day will make sure you think about them every day. As you spend your days working towards your goals, they’ll manifest.

There’s a science to achieving goals, which removes the confusion and ambiguity of them. If you stick to a pattern, you can accomplish your goals, regardless of if they are large or small.

Write them down and review them every single day.

Moving Forward

A divorce can shatter your life if you let it. So don’t let it.

Every day you can move forward with these steps. Put a plan in place to succeed. Every step on that plan brings you closer to your dreams. Maybe that means finally having a day where you don’t feel guilty or sad about your divorce. Maybe it’s a day of less resentment. Maybe it’s a day where you focus on getting healthy by preparing a good meal for yourself.

Making small steps every day like the ones outlined above will change your life. And as a result, the universe will respond to you in beautiful ways.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

Whatever your reason is for divorce, you should consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Divorce Family Law

Divorce Crisis or Marriage Crisis?

Divorce is common in Hollywood. This is a fact we all know. All we have to do is wait in line for a few minutes at our local grocery store. The tabloids are piled high with stories of divorces and how much so-and-so will receive in their divorce settlement. And up until a few recently released studies, we also thought we knew that the divorce rate was 50% and that one in two marriages ended in divorce. But the idea that America is a divorce crisis might not be all that accurate. We actually might be in the middle of an actual marriage (as in getting married) crisis. Seems like a ton of people are questioning how blissful “wedded bliss” actually is.

Some Statistics to Consider

Our thoughts on divorce and marriage might be shifting in a way that we weren’t quite aware of. Consider these statistics:

  • Though the overall divorce rate is dropping slightly across the nation, it’s actually on the rise among 25- to 29-year-olds. All this is according to the latest U.S. Census.
  • One in 10 first marriages fails within five years.
  • There are fewer marriages actually happening in the first place. According to Pew Research Center analysis, only 51 percent of adults today are married. That’s compared to 72 percent in 1960. From 2009 to 2010 alone, new marriages fell 5 percent.
  • According to government data, more than half of the births by women under 30 now occur out of wedlock.  “This is quite amazing,” says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University. “A hundred years ago, if you had a child out of marriage, you’d be a social disgrace. Today women feel comfortable enough economically and culturally to bring up a child without a recognized commitment from a man.”

Conclusions

This data is compelling enough, and might just show that we have a marriage problem, not a divorce problem. So does it make sense to say that marriage is a failing trend that could soon just be something that people “used to do”?

Will Marriage Be a Thing of the Past? A Survey

A recent survey done by Glamour magazine asked more than 2,100 women and over 1,000 men ages 18 to 40, if they felt that marriage in America could soon become part of American history. There answers prove it’s still up for debate.

Married Someday

Of the men and women asked, 92 percent say they want to get married someday. The dream of a big white wedding day is alive in most peoples hearts. But it seems that when the reality of marriage gets broken down, women are more skeptical. Half of those surveyed under 30 – which was 51 percent – feel that the institution of marriage is becoming outdated. “This is really a breathtaking statistic,” says Pamela Haag, Ph.D., author of Marriage Confidential. “If you’d asked this 60 years ago, a lot of women would have been too busy making dinner for their husband or running after their children to even take the survey, and they couldn’t afford to not be married. Today there are so many other options. Marriage might still be the preferred dream. But it’s not the exclusive dream.”

And a lot of women seem to feel that way. According to Melody Wilson, 26, from Washington, D.C., “At some point I would like to be able to say ‘my husband’ instead of ‘my boyfriend.”She been with her boyfriend for four years. “But if I never got married, I wouldn’t feel shunned or inept at relationships, which I might have if I lived decades ago.” Vanessa Vancour, 27, from Reno, Nevada, expands a little further: “Having a ring and legal documentation does not guarantee commitment, devotion, or happiness,” she says. “Weddings can be beautiful, but beyond the pretty dress and a few legal rights, I don’t see the point.”

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It’s important to say that these two women, obviously, don’t speak for all women. In fact, 49 percent of those surveyed say that marriage really is a timeless institution. “I think it’s the ultimate sign of commitment,” says Megan Brames, 22, from Nashville. “I want to know my partner is serious about spending his life with me.”

 Guys Thoughts on Marriage

This might sound surprising, but it seems that guys are even more traditional. Of those surveyed, 55 percent aren’t giving up on saying their vows. “Despite the myth that men are less committed, they are predisposed to desire marriage,” says Fisher. Apparently, it’s good old evolution playing apart. She goes on to explain: “He wants to keep the mother of his children around to ensure his DNA lives on.”

So Why the Loss of Faith in Marriage?

So then, why does it seem that more young women are losing faith in marriage? And could Hollywood and all that tabloid fodder be to blame? Apparently, yes, it does play a role. According to 44% of women in the survey: all the drama is fueling the divorce rate.

Research might be able to give us a reasoning for this. In 2010 a controversial study from Harvard University, Brown University, and the University of California, San Diego, suggested that divorce is catching. Meaning it can be spread. An example: A friend ends her marriage. That means your odds of following suit rise by 14 percent. When it’s a sibling that says “I’m done,” that percentage rises to 22 percent.

So it makes sense that in our digital and TMZ obsessed world, that stars which are “Just Like Us” can affect the way we view marriage and divorce.  “I think of Heidi Klum as a friend,” says Ashley Spencer, 25, from Orlando, Florida. “I follow her on Twitter and love all her projects. I really thought she and Seal were going to go the distance. So when I heard she was getting a divorce, it was like hearing an actual friend was ending her marriage.” And Caitlin Brody, 25, from New York City took the Klum-Seal breakup hard. “They seemed in love beyond belief. He freakin’ had an igloo made for the proposal!” she says. “It can be hard to believe in happily ever after if even supermodels and award-winning musicians can’t make it.” What she’s saying that in a dream-world bubble, if they can’t make it work, then no one can. So is this realistic?

Celebrity Couples = Just Like Us? OR Not Like Us at All?

Celebrity couples have a unique list of challenges that typically differs from the average person. These challenges include: long stints on location with sexy costars and dealing with droves of love-struck fans seeking you out at all hours of the day. Laura Jansen, 24, from Los Angeles puts it this way: “I am just not on the same planet as Demi and Ashton.”

That being said, according to the survey, women were more affected by breakups among couples they know personally. Of those women, 63 percent say they get upset when a friend or someone they know goes through a split up. “It’s depressing,” says Wilson. “And sometimes I find myself hoping it doesn’t happen to me.” And it’s that feeling, according to Haag that, “gets at the ripple effect of anxiety and fear that one divorce can have among friends. While divorce might not be, strictly speaking, a viral phenomenon, I’ve seen how catalyzing one breakup can be within a small community.”

How Celeb Divorces Help

But celebrity divorces can actually help in this regard. Often times with divorce, whether it’s your mom or dad, you, or a family friend, it can be kept hush-hush and no one is allowed to talk about it. “While it can be difficult to speak our mind when someone close to us divorces, riffing on Heidi and Seal helps us to process it,” says Eric Klinenberg, Ph.D., a New York University professor of sociology and author of the new book Going Solo. “We’re interested in celebrities’ revolving-door marriages because so many of us have experienced the same thing among our circle.”

Upside

There might be another upside to this change in views towards marriage: the pressure is being taken off women to get married. Almost a third of the women surveyed said she’d feel fine going through the rest of her life checking off the single box. Also, 59 percent of the women feel that divorce is healthy if the people in the marriage fall out of love. “Thirty years ago people in a bad marriage felt they had to justify getting divorced—to themselves and to their friends and family,” says Klinenberg. “Today they have to justify staying together. Very few think that if they get divorced, their life will be over. The country is full of single people living big lives.”

wedding 2

But what do people actually want from marriage today? Something truly great. And now that marriage seems as if it’s more “option” than “standard,” according to experts, we have higher expectations of it. “There’s a real strengthening of the idea that marriage is now about personal growth and fulfillment,” says Andrea L. Press, Ph.D., professor of media studies and sociology at the University of Virginia. As Laura from L.A. puts it, “Getting married is really important to me, but I won’t do it unless it’s going to be amazing.”

Fisher advises that if an amazing marriage is your dream, then follow that — just don’t pretend that divorce is something that might not happen to you. “Learn from what’s going on around you,” she says. “Why are your friends breaking up? Is it money, cheating, issues over kids? The brain is built for love, but knowledge is absolute power when it comes to surviving the ups and downs of marriage.”

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Divorce Family Law

The Truth About the Divorce Rate

It’s a staggering statistic – half of all marriages end in divorce — but is it really true?

The Truth About the Divorce Rate

We’ve heard for years that 50% of marriages end in divorce, but the truth is divorce rates are falling, not rising. In fact, according to researchers, the rate of divorce in the U.S. actually peaked at about 40% around 1980. And it’s been declining ever since.

Data from the National Survey of Family Growth determined the probability of a first marriage lasting at least a decade was 68% for women and 70% for men between 2006 and 2010. The probability that they would make it 20 years was 52% for women and 56% for men.

So what’s with the whole 50% thing? The original claim was made in a 1980 census report that predicted half of the couples married between 1976 and 1977 would eventually end up divorced and that rates would only increase from there.

The Steps of the Divorce Process

Whatever your reason for considering divorce, there are set steps you will need to take to get divorced. Hence, we bring you a “how-to” for getting divorced.

Step 1: Decide How to Proceed18640254_s

How you begin your divorce will be dependent on the particulars of your marriage and your relationship. A divorce of a marriage where the spouses have been married for a short period of time, have no children, and little property or debts is typically less involved than a divorce where the couple has been married for a long period of time, shares minor children, or where there is significant property or debt to be divided. If both parties are seeking the divorce, the process will most likely be easier, versus a situation where one spouse is contesting the divorce.  You will need to take a look at your specific situation in order to best gauge how you want to proceed.

Step 2: The Divorce Petition 

To start the divorce process one of the spouses must file a divorce petition. Even if both spouses are in agreement, one of them must file a petition that states the grounds of the divorce with the court asking for the divorce. Grounds for the divorce vary from state to state. California is a no-fault state, meaning no fault is placed on either party regardless of infidelity, etc…  But all jurisdictions allow for some type of no-fault grounds such as “irreconcilable differences.” Some states will consider fault grounds for divorce, such as adultery or abandonment. A family law attorney will be able to advise you your state specific laws regarding grounds for divorce

Step 3: Temporary Orders 

If one spouse is seeking to receive financial support (as alimony) or custody of children, that spouse will need to ask the court for temporary orders for that support and custody. This temporary order is usually granted within a few days of the initial petition and will remain in effect until the full divorce court hearing. If the party seeking the temporary order is the same party who is filing the divorce petition, it’s advised that they file both the divorce petition and the temporary order at the same time. If you are not the party that filed the divorce petition, but are looking for support or child custody, you should file your request for that support as soon as possible.

Step 4: Proof of Service and Responding

Once a spouse files for divorce he or she also needs to file for a proof of service of process. This document proves that a copy of the divorce petition was given to the other party. Your family law attorney can help ensure this is done, or you can work with a process server. If both spouses have agreed to divorce, it’s usually the spouse that files the divorce that arranges for the the  service of process to the other party’s attorney.

When the service of process is received, that spouse needs to file a response to the divorce petition. In states where grounds for divorce can be filed, this response is where to address or dispute those grounds for divorce. Also, if the spouse receiving the petition has any disagreement with the put forth property division, support, custody terms, or any other issue, this should be added to the response.

Step 5: Negotiating

When two spouses are not in agreement on child custody and visitation, child support, property division and any spousal support, they will need to find a way to negotiate the terms of their divorce. Disagreeing spouses might consider working with a meditation lawyer, as it is in their best interest to work out as much as possible out of court. This will help to cut down on legal fees and time spent arguing. The negotiation process is the hardest part of the divorce process. As we all know from public divorce disputes, the negotiations can sometimes take years if a couple is not able to come to an agreement.

Step 6: Order of Dissolution

Once everything is decided upon an order of dissolution is created that outlines out how the property and debts are to be divided, what child custody and visitation schedule is, what support payments (spousal and child) need to be paid, and any other aspects that have been agreed on. If the spouses are able to negotiate their own resolution to all of these aspects, their lawyers will draft the order of dissolution and submit it to the court. If the Order of Dissolution complies with legal requirements and both parties entered into it knowingly and willingly and can attest to it, then the judge approves it. At this point, the divorce is finalized.

Moving Forward After Divorce

There are some pointers we can offer once you begin to move forward from your divorce.

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Perspective
Yup, it’s true, hindsight is 20/20. You have to walk through something, get a far way ahead of it, and only then can you look back and see just how important that process was. At that point you can see the beginning, the middle, and the end, and how that end is so clear and empty of emotional and clutter. Take this new clarity and run with it. That perspective can give you amazing information you need to change your own behaviors and to improve your future relationships.

Gratitude After Divorce

After you lose everything, you take nothing for granted. Divorce can be like losing everything:  past memories, your present marriage, and future dreams. Let that be your determination to survive. But this is also a time to lean on friends and family that stepped up and stood by. They will lift you up, even when you can’t lift yourself. Be grateful for them, and try to show them that you are. If not now, then try to later. Sometimes the Thanksgiving holiday makes this process of showing gratitude easier – it’s a whole holiday built around being thankful. Try to focus on that aspect of the holiday, rather than on what you might no longer have. 

Empathy
When you have felt pain, you honor and respect that pain in others. Divorce can make you more empathetic towards people facing any form of loss. You will move towards acceptance and forgiveness of your situation and your ex. And with this movement will come the ability to see things from other people’s viewpoints, making you a better friend, and a better person to be in a relationship with (down the line, when you are ready for one).

Divorce wipes away the ego that believes it’s shameful to ask for help. After you admonish this, you will be able to accept help for yourself, and then be able to offer help to others who are in need.

Responsibility
It’s easy to blame your ex, to place the responsibility for the divorce in his or her hands. We also might realize that all too often we have looked to them to provide happiness or support for making decisions. This interdependency ends with divorce. It’s good to be interdependent, but divorce requires that you learn to be independent. You’re going to be steering this ship on your own, and maybe steering it through the holidays on your own. You’re going to have to be responsible for your own things now: happiness, support, etc. Let this empower you though rather than make you feel lost or scared. You’re completely in control now. You can change. It’s your life now.

Humility

Divorce teaches us that no matter how much we want something to be true, we can’t force it into being. All those choice you made have consequences. And maybe now you are being forced to see them. Sure, you might have said “divorce will never happen to me,” but now it has. You’re going to have to admit that it can happen to anyone. Let this “slap” of reality force you to embrace acceptance while also redefining expectations. You’re not immune to anything.

Awareness
Divorce can be a wake-up call. Often times people realize they were living in a kind of “auto-pilot” mode when they said their “I dos.” The clarity and awareness you have after saying your “I Un-dos” might provide you with a sense of awareness that wasn’t there before. A lot of people turn to meditation and yoga during the divorce process because it settles the mind to allow for awareness. This mindfulness and consciousness will be helpful moving forward in your new life.

Ingenuity
Divorce is also a way to test your abilities… all of them. Your negotiating skills, your financial skills, your balanced budgeting skills, co-parenting abilities. You are the only problem solver now. You will need to work out how to afford your rent on a portion of the budget you once had. You will also need to learn how to co-parent, potentially with an ex you hate (for now). But the more you are placed in these new positions, the better you will become at those tasks.

Wisdom from Divorce
Divorce can be an opportunity for reflection and analysis. You are now raw and ready to learn new ways of doing things, in addition to just learning new ways to move on and cope.

Working with A Family Law Attorney

When it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Categories
Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce Marital Property Division

Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton Divorce

After four years of marriage, Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton have decided to divorce.

Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton Divorce

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After meeting 10 years ago when they performed together at the CMT concert, Miranda Lambert, 31, and Blake Shelton, 39, quickly became country’s golden couple. They were married in 2011 in Boerne, Texas. But now it looks like that golden couple has come to an end.

“This is not the future we envisioned,” their representatives said via statement. “And it is with heavy hearts that we move forward separately. We are real people, with real lives, with real families, friends and colleagues. Therefore, we kindly ask for privacy and compassion concerning this very personal matter.”

In 2011, Shelton became a judge on The Voice. Lambert won a Grammy for best country album for Platinum earlier this year. 

In a recent interview with Marie Claire, Lambert spoke about her relationship with Shelton, saying, “I’m not sunshine and roses. Blake’s the happiest person on the planet. He pulls me out of my darkness… Literally, everything is the best about being married.”

When USA Today asked about the status of her marriage last year, Lambert said, “I’m happy. You’ll have to ask Blake how he feels.”

“Blake’s really broken up over this,” says a source close to Shelton. He filed for divorce in his native Oklahoma July 6. It seems that she is as well – recently breaking down during a July 18 concert in Cheyenne, Wyo. According to a source close to Lambert, “She’s very heartbroken, sad, and confused.”

Quick Divorce

While it appears the pair’s divorce was granted only two weeks after Shelton filed, the standard length of time it takes in California is 6 months. Timelines will vary by state, so you’ll want to work with an attorney to find out how quickly your divorce is able to take place. Keep in mind, this is a minimum amount of time. Exact time will be based on your specific conditions and your state.

Lambert’s and Shelton’s divorce might have happened quickly, but according to sources close to the couple, the split itself was a long time coming, and that “Both of them have been unhappy for while.”

Despite the couple’s agreement to not go more than two weeks without seeing each other, an insider says “they were rarely together,” and that “Distance was a major factor.”

Celebrity Divorces

By now we all know that divorce is common in Hollywood. But that seems to be the case in regular life as well. Or is it?Up until a few recently released studies, we also believed the divorce rate was 50% and that one in two marriages ended in divorce. But the idea that America is a divorce crisis might not be all that accurate. We actually might be in the middle of an actual marriage (as in getting married) crisis. Seems like a ton of people are questioning how blissful “wedded bliss” actually is.

Some Statistics

couple getting divorced

Thoughts on divorce and marriage might be shifting in a way that we weren’t quite aware of. Consider these statistics:

  • Though the overall divorce rate is dropping slightly across the nation, it’s actually on the rise among 25- to 29-year-olds. All this is according to the latest U.S. Census.
  • One in 10 first marriages fails within five years.
  • There are fewer marriages actually happening in the first place. According to Pew Research Center analysis, only 51 percent of adults today are married. That’s compared to 72 percent in 1960. From 2009 to 2010 alone, new marriages fell 5 percent.
  • According to government data, more than half of the births by women under 30 now occur out of wedlock.  “This is quite amazing,” says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University. “A hundred years ago, if you had a child out of marriage, you’d be a social disgrace. Today women feel comfortable enough economically and culturally to bring up a child without a recognized commitment from a man.”

So maybe we have a marriage problem, not a divorce problem.

But when it comes to divorce, it’s usually not a decision that is made lightly… although, there are some bizarre reasons.

Weird Reasons for Divorce

Just like every marriage has its own strengths and weaknesses, ever divorce has its own reasons. But sometimes those reasons are really od. Take these for example:

“Guantanamo.” A Saudi woman filed for divorce after she found out her husband had nicknamed her “Guantanamo” in his cellphone. According to Al Arabiya news, she discovered the unflattering nickname when she called his cellphone and realized he had left it at home. The man defended himself, saying the nickname was to protect the couple’s privacy. “I don’t want people sitting around me to know that this is my wife calling,” he said.

Parrot Spills the Beans. According to ABC News, a Chinese woman learned of her  husband’s infidelity from the couple’s pet parrot when he started  saying the words “divorce,” “I love you,” and “be patient.” She took the parrot with her to the divorce lawyer.

Too Many Cats. When people hate cats, they really hate cats. And when they love them, they really love them. Apparently, enough to give up their marriage.  According to the Times of Israel, a man divorced his wife after she brought home 550 cats. In court he said he was unable to sleep on the bed and unable to eat meals because the cats were always in the way or stealing his food. The woman refused to give up the cats so the husband decided to give up the marriage.

Chances are your divorce won’t be for reasons like this. The more common reasons people get divorced are these:

Lack of communication. When you are unable to communicate due to a lack of sharing feelings, or not keeping your partner in the loop about what’s happening with you emotionally, you create distance. A successful relationship has open lines of communication where things can be resolved. Additionally, chances are you both feel as if something is being left unsaid, which can multiply over time and become a much larger issue than had you just confronted the issue from the beginning.

Financial Issues. Money, and lack of it, can lead to a lot of problems in relationships. You and your spouse might have different mindsets about money. You need to sit down and decide on what your financial goals are and then create a way to reach them. Working together and understanding what each spouse wants can help ease a low flow of money.

Feeling Held Back. When you first started dating your spouse you may have felt as if the sky was the limit, or maybe you felt like you needed to change yourself a little for him or her. Over the course of a marriage things can change. You might feel now as if your spouse and marriage are holding you back from achieving goals and taking opportunities. If you don’t feel supported by your spouse you can begin to feel as if you are being held back from really accomplishing what you want to during your lifetime. Try to get a clear-headed assessment. Are you really being held back? Or maybe it’s just how you are perceiving the situation. An open conversation might be the best place to start.

Trust. Trust is one of the leading factors in having a successful relationship and marriage. It can be impossible to achieve anything if you do not trust each other. Ask yourself if there’s a reason for the lack of trust. Was there an infidelity or past infidelities? Or are you just reading into things? Try to get a clear head about why there is not trust in your relationship. Maybe working with a relationship therapist can help you both deal with any trust issues.

Expectations. If you expected one thing at the beginning of the relationship and you aren’t getting it now, or your expectations have changed, you might find that you aren’t as happy in your relationship as you could be.

Your spouse doesn’t understand or fulfill your needs and desires. We all have different needs and wants that need to be met by the significant other in our lives. If you have a partner that doesn’t acknowledge your interests and desires then they won’t do what they can to fulfill your needs and wants.

Sudden Life Change. New changes happen at every moment in our lives. This can be the birth of a child, death of a parent, sudden job loss, a new opportunity for a job across the country. You will both need to be adaptable and know how to be supportive of each other. Life is unplanned, but you should be able to plan that your spouse will be there to support you whether its a good change or a difficult one.

Domestic Violence. If you’ve been in a situation, or are currently in a situation, where your partner has been abusive or controlling in any manner, you should consider seeking help. If need be, contact a trusted family, friend, or an attorney about this matter.

Family Law Attorney

When it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney. There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case.  For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

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Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce

Divorce Rate Not As Bad As You Think

When You Might Consider a Lawyer for Personal Injury Claims

There’s a common statistic tossed around when people talk about the divorce rate: “50% of U.S. marriages end in divorce.” But it’s apparently not true.

Divorce Rate Not 50%

A recent piece published by the New York Times’ blog Upshot reports that the divorce rate is not only not at 50%, but it’s not rising either. It’s actually been dropping for the past years, making what was a high divorce rate in the late 1970s and early 1980s perhaps just a “historical anomaly,” and not an actual trend.

Some New Stats

Here are a few more facts the piece uncovers:

  • Roughly 70% of marriages that married in the 1990s reached their 15th wedding anniversary – this is an increase from the 65% of marriages began in the 1970s and 1980s.
  • Couples who wed in the 2000s are getting divorced at even lower rates than those marriages that began in the 1990s.
  • According to economists Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfer, the  1970s feminist movement had a big impact on where the divorce rate stands now. As women entered the work force and birth control was made more available, marriage began to turn into its “modern-day form, based on love and shared passions, and often two incomes and shared housekeeping duties.”
  • People are marrying later in life – they often seek having full careers before “settling down.” Median age for marriage in the 1950s was 23 for men, 20 for women. In 2004, the median age for marriage was 27 for men, 26 for women. Getting married later in life allows people to really know what they want or don’t want out of a mate, thus making marriages more stable once entered into.

Seeking a Divorce

While the divorce rate may be lower than you thought, people still find themselves unhappy in their marriages. The spike seen in the 1970s and 1980s might have also been the result of divorce becoming more socially acceptable. Prior to that, people feared being judged, and thus stayed in unhappy marriages. Luckily, that isn’t the case anymore, and unhappy couples are free to divorce and start new lives. If you’re seeking a divorce, you might want to consider working with a divorce attorney that can help you through what can be a difficult process.

 

Source: The Huffington Post, The Truth About The Divorce Rate Is Surprisingly Optimistic, December 2, 2014

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

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