Category: High Net-Worth Divorce

Divorce Law LA blog posts about high net-worth divorce.

Lessons from Celeb “Breakovers”

Post author By Scott
Post date October 12, 2015

Hollywood is all about the celebrity “breakovers.” That’s when a celeb gets super hot after a terrible divorce or split. While we love to dramatize a tough divorce, there are lessons we can learn from celebs like Reese Witherspoon, Khloe Kardashian, and Miranda Lambert.

After getting divorced it can take some time for your life to resettle. What was a crazy tumultuous time will, without a doubt, remain that way for a while. This can be especially true if you have kids and are now part of a co-parenting couple. But as Hollywood has shown us, there are ways that you can move forward after your divorce.

Lessons from Celeb “Breakovers” and Moving Forward After Divorce

Moving forward after divorce means that every day you will need to purposefully carve out time progress and improve . It’s so easy for life to get sucked into the vacuum of a busy schedule. As Professor Harold Hill once said: “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.”

That’s exactly what Reese Witherspoon did following her divorce from Ryan Phillipe.

In 2005 Witherspoon won the Academy Award for Best Actress for 2005’s Walk the Line. Following that win, her personal life quickly took a dive as she split from her husband of eight years. While it took her a while to return to her Hollywood royalty status, she is now found her footing, acting in 2015’s Wild and producing the hit Gone Girl, proving that a bounce back can be hard, but it can be done.

Get Out of Survival Mode

Following your divorce you might find your life is filled with the nonessential and trivial. Do you check your ex-spouse’s Facebook every day to see if he or she is dating someone new? Do you obsess and get frustrated with every communication that comes from your ex? Are you resentful? How are you channeling all these new feelings? Are you just trying to survive?

It’s time to take your life back into your own hands.

It’s not uncommon to realize that you were living your life on someone else’s terms. But everything is in your hands now. With a lot of work and strong intention you can design your future. You have to realize you are responsible and you must decide to make a change. Here are some first steps to making that giant leap into your new life:

Wake up
Get yourself in the zone
Get yourself moving
Eat well
Get ready and inspired
Get perspective
Do something that will move you forward

Get Enough Sleep

Despite the fact that sleep is just as important for life as eating and drinking water, millions of people do not get enough sleep.

According to the National Sleep Foundation (NSF) 40 million Americans suffer from over 70 different sleep disorders. Additionally, 60 percent of adults and 69 percent of children have one or more sleep problems at least a few nights during a week.

It makes sense then that more than 40 percent of adults experience daytime sleepiness that is severe enough to interfere with daily activities at least a few days every month .

Getting the right amount of sleep can help you have a longer life, increased creativity, memory, attention, and focus. It can help to lower stress and your risk for depression.

Bottom line: you need your beauty sleep.

Find Clarity and Abundance

You need to focus on moving forward toward the positive things in your life. What you set your focus on expands. After waking up from a restful night’s sleep, prayer and meditation can help you orient yourself toward the positive.

Focus on what you are grateful for. This could be the fact that you are out of a relationship and marriage that did not serve you. Maybe you’re just grateful for the fact the sun is shining. There are limitless opportunities and possibilities for you. That air of gratefulness will only draw more positive and good to you.

Start every morning by getting yourself into a space of gratitude and clarity.

Get Some Physical Activity

Khloe Khardashian could be called the queen of the celebrity revenge body. Following her long-lasting divorce from Lamar Odom (it took over a year) Kardasian focused on getting her body healthy and strong.

She spoke to Women’s Health magazine about how she decided to make a change. “It started around 2012,” she told the magazine. “I was having a hard time with [husband at-the-time NBA star] Lamar [Odom]. It was toward the end of our union, and there was so much drama. I needed a release. At first it was so hard. It was baby steps, but I started feeling so much better.”

She started working with celebrity personal trainer Gunnar Peterson to regain her confidence and strength. And her results? She’s now being touted as one of the “hard bodies” of celeb-dom.

By now you know you need to get your exercise. Still, according to the Center for Disease Control’s National Health Interview Survey, only one-third of American men and women between the ages of 25 to 64 engage in regular physical activity.

Regular exercise is can decrease your chance of depression, anxiety, and stress. It’s also been linked to higher success in people’s careers. Any form of exercise works: the gym, yard work, cleaning. Just get your body moving and every aspect of your life will thrive.

Eat/Drink 30 Grams of Protein

Eating protein first thing decreases cravings for white carbohydrates (the type of carbs that can make you fat. Donald Layman, professor emeritus of nutrition at the University of Illinois, recommends eating or drinking at least 30 grams of protein for breakfast. In The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss, he recommends getting 30 grams of protein 30 minutes after waking up.

Food rich in protein will help you feel fuller for longer because they take longer for the body to digest. Protein also keeps blood-sugar levels steady, and thus prevents hunger spikes.

According to Ferriss, eat at least 40% of your breakfast calories as protein: two to three whole eggs, turkey bacon, organic pork bacon or sausage, or cottage cheese. You can also do a protein shake made with water. If you follow a vegetarian or vegan diet you can eat legumes, greens, nuts, and seeds.

Take A Cold Shower

Every morning motivational speaker and life coach Tony Robbins jumps into a 57-degree Fahrenheit swimming pool.

Cold water immersion has been shown to radically facilitate physical and mental wellness with regular practice. It not only changes your body’s immune, lymphatic, circulatory and digestive systems, but it can also increase weight-loss because it boosts your metabolism.

A study done in 2007 found that cold water triggers mood-boosting neurochemicals that make people feel happier. The study concluded that because of this, taking cold showers routinely can help treat depression symptoms. Often, cold showers are more effective than prescription medications.

Sure, none of us wants to step into a cold shower, but try to think of it like getting into a swimming pool. The first 20 seconds feels terrible, but once you’ve done it, it’s fine.

Those who do this report feeling an increase in willpower, creativity, motivation, and inspiration.

Do You Have a Life Vision?

If you haven’t written down your short and long term goals, you should. Just reviewing them a few minutes a day can put your day into perspective. Chances are some things have changed after your divorce. Take some time to re-focus your energy on what you really want to accomplish.

Reading your long term goals every day will make sure you think about them every day. As you spend your days working towards your goals, they’ll manifest.

There’s a science to achieving goals, which removes the confusion and ambiguity of them. If you stick to a pattern, you can accomplish your goals, regardless of if they are large or small.

Write them down and review them every single day.

Moving Forward

A divorce can shatter your life if you let it. So don’t let it.

Every day you can move forward with these steps. Put a plan in place to succeed. Every step on that plan brings you closer to your dreams. Maybe that means finally having a day where you don’t feel guilty or sad about your divorce. Maybe it’s a day of less resentment. Maybe it’s a day where you focus on getting healthy by preparing a good meal for yourself.

Making small steps every day like the ones outlined above will change your life. And as a result, the universe will respond to you in beautiful ways.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

Whatever your reason is for divorce, you should consider working with a family law attorney. They will be able to advise you on any number of issues, including: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Tags breakover, celebrity makeover, Khloe Kardashian, Reese Witherspoon

Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce Spousal Support

Ken and Anne Griffin Settle Divorce Battle

Post author By Scott
Post date October 5, 2015

After 14 months of court battles, hedge-find billionaire Ken Griffin and ex Anne Dias Griffin have finally decided on a divorce agreement.

Ken and Anne Griffin Settle Divorce Battle

The hedge-fund billionaire, who is reported to be the 69th richest man in the world according to Forbes magazine, and his wife were able to come to an agreement just days before they were to begin a trial over their prenuptial agreement.

According to Jay Frank of Aronberg Goldgehn in Chicago, reaching a settlement is far preferable to going to court because it’s a “resolution the two of you have come to — there isn’t a third party that doesn’t know you, deciding who gets what.”

Prenuptial Agreement

For the majority of the battle, Anne maintained she was coerced into signing the prenup just a day before their marriage in 2003.

The best way to avoid finding out that your prenuptial agreement is invalid during a divorce is to ensure that no mistakes are made when the agreement is drafted. Here are some things to avoid.

Prenuptial Agreement Mistakes

A prenuptial agreement can be ruled as “invalid” if there are mistakes. Here are some mistakes that you’ll want to avoid. It’s also recommended that you work with a family law attorney to avoid these mistakes:

Same Legal Representation – Each spouse should have his or her own attorney. An attorney will explain everything contained in the prenuptial agreement independently of the other spouse. Working with separate attorneys ensures the final agreement is signed voluntarily, and neither spouse feels pressured to sign.
Signed Under Duress – “Under duress” means a under pressure or under the influence of drugs or alcohol. A prenuptial agreement can be found invalid if one party signed under duress and did not have the mental capacity to understand what they were signing.
Signed Too Close to the Wedding – A prenuptial should be signed one to three months prior to the wedding. If not, it’s easy for a party to argue later on that they were coerced into signing. Each spouse should have time to deliberate on the agreement before signing.
No Full Disclosure – Disclose all assets and debts.
Child Support Provisions – Child support and custody should not be a part of a prenuptial agreement.
Biased – The prenuptial agreement should not show any bias to one party.
Unenforceable Provisions – Unusual provisions such as one spouse is responsible for dishes can deem an agreement unenforceable.
Oral Agreement – A prenuptial agreement must be in written form to be valid. Each spouse and each spouse’s attorney should have a copy.
Ambiguous Writing – Ambiguous wording can be challenged in court. Make sure the writing is all clear and concise.

Additional Planned Trials for the Griffins

The trial over the prenuptial agreement was set to be followed by a separate trial over child support, and yet another separate trial to decide custody and visitation.

Joint Custody Decision

It was decided in the agreement that the couple will have joint custody of their three young children. Prior to the agreement, Anne was seeking sole custody with reasonable visitation for her husband, while Ken was pushing for joint custody.

Additionally, Anne wanted to relocate the children to New York, but it seems that she withdrew that position.

Other than custody, the rest of the terms of the settlement weren’t disclosed.

What is “Joint Child Custody”?

“Joint Child Custody” means that parents who do not live together still share decision-making responsibilities for, and/or physical control and custody of, the children they have together. This form of custody is able to be awarded to parents that are divorced, separated, no longer living together, and even if they have never lived together. Joint child custody is also the form of custody that is favored by the courts.

Joint Child Custody Arrangements

Joint Child Custody can take various forms, such as:

joint legal custody – where the parents share the decision-making responsibilities.

joint physical custody – where children spend time with each parent separately.

joint legal and physical custody – a combination of the above.

Joint Child Custody – Advantages and Disadvantages

There are advantages and disadvantages to joint child custody. While it ensures children continue contact with both parents, children still need to be shuttled from one parent to the other. This can be a difficult situation for non-cooperative parents, and thus can be a hard situation for children stuck in the middle. Regardless of if parents are cooperative or non-cooperative, it’s crucial that all financial records of groceries, finances associated with a child’s after school activities, medical care, and clothing are kept. In cases where parents argue about these things, a judge will appreciate finely detailed records. If parents can maintain a positive parenting schedule and approach, and keep the child’s best interests in mind, joint custody can be a positive and comforting experience for a child.

High Profile Divorce Case

New York divorce attorney James P. Joseph believes the inevitable media attention that comes with such a high-dollar, high-profile case like the Griffin’s is “horrible” for wealthy former couples. He added that the media’s interest can add “an incredible amount of pressure” at an emotionally difficult time for both the spouses and also their children.

While it seems that the Griffin’s dirty laundry has been aired to all, it’s really up to how they manage the conflict within the family. And while it may seem the opposite, low-impact and low-conflict divorces can often have more damaging effects on children than high-conflict and high-impact divorces.

Low Conflict Divorce and Children

Divorce is not easy, and it often brings out the worst in us, but in some marriages, the signs of divorce can be hard to spot for children. If you and your spouse have always had a low-conflict marriage, where there is little yelling, it can be hard for a child to understand where a divorce is coming from.

Dr. Paul Amato, a sociologist at Penn State University, and Alan Booth, also from Penn State, did a study a number of years ago on 2,000 divorcing parents and 700 children of divorcing parents. What they found is that, “From the child’s perspective, there is no evidence that anything is drastically wrong,” says Dr. Booth. “It is an unexpected, uncontrollable and unwelcome event where one parent leaves the home and the other is overwhelmed with the demands of single parenthood and a lowered standard of living.”

Dr. Booth suggests that marriages in which there are high amounts of conflict can actually be more beneficial to children because it can feel as if there is finally an end to a hostile situation. While we are never ones to argue for high conflict, it can make more “sense” to a child.

Whatever the reason or type of divorce you are going through, whether high or low impact, it is never a good enough excuse to pull your kids along through the hurtful ride of roller-coaster emotions. This means learning how to co-parent with your ex-spouse.

Building a Successful Co-Parenting Situation

“The biggest obstacles to successful co-parenting are emotions,” says Alisa Peskin-Shepherd, principal of Transitions Legal, a family law practice that specializes in mediative divorce. “Emotional obstacles are usually anger, resentment and jealousy. Often parents have a hard time separating those feelings toward their former spouse from their attempt to focus on their children.”

The idea of focusing on your children might seem obvious, but that can be really difficult when you receive that text from your ex that makes you want to throw your phone directly into their face.

Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case. For advice on child custody, you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Tags Anne Dias Griffin, Ken Griffin

Child Custody Child Support Child Visitation Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce Marital Property Division Mediation Spousal Support

Stefani-Rossdale Divorce

Post author By Scott
Post date August 10, 2015

Gwen Stefani is citing “irreconcilable differences” as her reason for divorcing husband Gavin Rossdale.

Divorce for Stefani and Rossdale

“While the two of us have come to the mutual decision that we will no longer be partners in marriage, we remain partners in parenthood and are committed to jointly raising our three sons in a happy and healthy environment,” the couple said in a joint statement. “To that end, we respectfully request privacy from the media during this time.”

After touring together, Stefani, 45, and Rossdale, 49, were married in 2002. The No Doubt lead singer and Bush front-man have been rock royalty ever since the late 90’s.

According to the tabloids, the two have spent some time apart recently. Stefani recently posted pics to her Instagram showing her and her sons on a mini getaway in Montana. It was unclear if Rossdale joined the family for the vacation, as his Instagram suggested he was in London. But even just last year Rossdale took on tabloids that reported that the couple was headed for divorce, denouncing the rumors as a “load of bulls–t.”

“I’m pretty dry and I’ve got a decent sense of humor, so [reporters] say to me, ‘You’re doing this, you’ve got a new record…’How do you guys find time for each other?'” he said while appearing on The Howard Stern Show. “And I said, ‘We don’t, that’s why we’ve been together so long.’ I was f–king around, that’s funny to me. Where I’m from, that’s funny. And it was funny, for about a week, and then it’s like, ‘oh…interesting.’ So it’s just me and my big mouth.”

And just a few months ago in Cosmopolitan‘s March issue, Stefani said “I never really saw myself landing a guy that hot. I don’t know if I was a nerd in high school, but I definitely wasn’t the super-cute cheerleader so I never saw myself getting somebody like that.”

When speaking of her marriage and what made it work, she said “We go through so much together—it’s a miracle that we could stay together this long.”

She went on to say, “[Gavin’s] on a short tour right now, and he wrote me the sweetest note this morning. It’s good to have those days when we both do our own things. I think that’s what keeps relationships going, when both people can be themselves and have their own individuality.

“That’s especially important for women,” she added. “It’s hard to find time for yourself.”

Stefani cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split in her divorce filing. Rossdale filed his response at the same time.

Irreconcilable Differences

Irreconcilable differences means you and your spouse are not able to agree on basic, fundamental issues involving the marriage or your family, and you never will agree. While there is no set rule, the following are reasons for why a couple might decide to file:

Conflict of personalities
Emotional needs are not being met
The marriage is suffering from financial difficulties
Long physical separation
Difference in interests
Resentment
Distrust
Constant bickering
Irreversible antagonistic feelings

If you are experiencing any of these feelings and are unable to work things out with your spouse, you may consider divorce. Working with a lawyer is the first step to determining how you should file for divorce. California is a no-fault state, which means that you cannot blame your spouse for the end of the marriage, even if it is ending because of infidelity. You will want to work with a lawyer to determine your state-specific laws, though most states have “no-fault” options, such as irreconcilable difference.

Joint Custody

The couple shares three sons: 9-year-old Kingston, 6-year-old Zuma and 1-year-old Apollo. According to court documents, both Stefani and Rossdale have sought joint custody.

There are various situations that fall under the umbrella of “joint child custody.”

What is “Joint Child Custody”?

Joint Child Custody Arrangements

Joint Child Custody can take various forms, such as:

joint legal custody – where the parents share the decision-making responsibilities.

joint physical custody – where children spend time with each parent separately.

joint legal and physical custody – a combination of the above.

Joint Child Custody – Advantages and Disadvantages

Spousal Support

According to court documents, Stefani checked the box to terminate Rossdale’s ability for spousal support.

If you are getting divorced, and are seeking spousal support, or are expected to pay spousal support payments, there are some important things you’ll want to understand. A family law attorney will be able to walk you through the specifics of your case, but here we’ll provide you with a general overview of aspects of spousal support including: the awarding of spousal support, tax laws, and what can happen if spousal support payments are not made.

Defining Spousal Support

Spousal support (also known as alimony) is financial assistance that is only available to those who were legally married. It recognizes a partner’s contribution to the marriage and its goal is to help the recipient achieve financial independence. Rules regarding alimony vary state by state.

Calculating Spousal Support

When a court presides over a spousal support hearing, it weighs a number of factors including: the length of the marriage, the needs of each spouse, the standard of living that was created and maintained during the marriage, any assets, the age of the spouses, numerous other factors, and state specific laws. Your divorce attorney will build your case for spousal support based on your own specific circumstances.

Length of Spousal Support

The duration of spousal support payments is set by the court after it weighs the arguments that have been made. Typically, the length of payments lasts for half the length of a less than 10 years long marriage. For example: a marriage of six years means the spousal support payments will need to be paid for three years.

In longer marriages, a court might not set an a duration for the alimony payments. In that case, it is up to your divorce attorney to prove your side of the case and the duration. You should work with your divorce attorney to establish your side, regardless of if you are paying or receiving payments, and also determine the amount of time you seek. The court will then listen to both arguments, and using common law, decide upon the duration.

Permanent or Lifetime Spousal Support

“Permanent” or “Lifetime” spousal support means support will be paid to the recipient until the death of the one paying, or sometimes until the recipient remarries. While remarriage has been a reason for the end of spousal support payments, that is not always the case, and sometimes a court will rule that a remarriage does not mean the end of the support payments.

As women became a stronger component of the workforce, permanent support began to be rewarded less and less. And now courts rarely award permanent support. One appellate court stated:

“As recognized by our Supreme Court, the public policy of this state has progressed from one which entitled some women to lifelong alimony as a condition of the marital contract of support, to one that entitles either spouse to post-dissolution support for only so long as is necessary to become self-supporting.”

A court will usually require the higher earner, regardless of if they are husband or wife, to assist the lower earner with maintaining the standard of living, at least for a period of time.

Changes in Financial Situation

The duration of spousal support payments can also be dependent on if the spouse receiving the support has a change in their financial standing (as the result of beginning a new job or higher pay). The purpose of spousal support is to ensure financial safeguards for the person receiving them. Therefore, if they no longer need to receive money to help them maintain financial footing, then a court can rule that they are able to support themselves and no longer need the support they have been receiving.

A Family Law Attorney

When it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney. There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case. For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Tags celebrity divorce, Child Support, Gavin Rossdale, Gwen Stefani, Spousal Support

Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce

Divorce Finalized for Kardashian

Post author By Scott
Post date July 27, 2015

Almost two years after filing, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have officially signed papers to finalize their divorce.

Bittersweet Divorce

In a recent interview with Complex magazine, Kardashian, 31, expressed that Odom, 35, is “going to always be that person,” a sentiment shared by others that have been through the same experience of divorce. It’s not always easy moving on after divorce, and each person has their own unique experience.

The divorce between the reality TV star and the former professional basketball player has been in the tabloids for years now. While it seemed as if the two were leading a charmed life in front of the cameras on their hit TV show, Khloe and Lamar, the relationship crumbled when the basketball player relapsed into his substance abuse problem.

Kardahsian filed for divorce on September 13, 2013, but the divorce was not finalized til July 21 of this year.

In Life&Style magazine’s September issue it was reported that the couple had received notice from The Superior Court of California County “alerting both Lamar and Khloe that their divorce is not complete — and once again, she didn’t respond.”

As of April of this year, it was still unclear what was happening between the two. It seemed as if Odom could not be located and Kardashian had still not moved to get a default divorce judgement, despite the fact that she was able to.

A default divorce judgement can be granted if the respondent does not file his or her response within 30 days of receiving the divorce petition. The petitioner can obtain a “default” divorce by filing court forms for judgment, child custody, child support, spousal support, and property division. No trial is necessary.

Still it seems that Kardashian did not want to move forward.

Khloe Opens Up

Kardashian sat down with Complex magazine for their 2015 August/September issue to not only show off her well-trained body in an exercise-themed photoshoot, but also to speak to what has been happening between her and Lamar.

“I talk to Lamar as often as I can, which is inconsistent, but not on my terms,” she said. “When you genuinely feel like that was the right relationship, you’re supposed to give it all you can. That’s what marriage is about. It’s not, ‘Let’s see if it works, if not we always have divorce.’ I am not one of those girls. You took a vow before God and you’re supposed to abide by that.”

While divorce papers were finally signed on July 21 of this year, Kardashian said she hadn’t been “rushing” the divorce because she wasn’t “looking to get married tomorrow.”

“Lamar is genuinely one of the best people I’ve ever met, and everyone says that when they meet him. I think Lamar’s going to always be that person [for me] but that’s what made it so special,” she said. “Even if I had it for five years or whatever, it was the best ever and I’m grateful I did. Some people don’t get that ever and I had that magic for a long time.”

She misses Odom “every day,” she went on to say.

“I miss what we had – things we got to do together are just memories. I like looking back and holding on to that stuff,” she said. “I definitely miss it, and there’s times I’ll get so sentimental and so sad, but this had to happen for some reason. I’ll figure it out over time, someone will give me that answer eventually.”

Moving On

Moving forward after divorce means that every day you will need to actively work to progress and improve . As Professor Harold Hill once said: “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.” It’s time to take your life back into your own hands.

Big changes can be accomplished with small steps, like these:

Wake up
Get in the zone
Get moving
Eat well
Get inspired
Gain some perspective
Do something that will propel you forward

Get Some Sleep and Wake Up in the AM

Getting the right amount of sleep can help you have a longer life, increased creativity, memory, attention, and focus. It can help to lower stress and your risk for depression.

Bottom line: you need your beauty sleep.

Find Clarity

Focus on the positive things in your life. What you set your focus on expands. After waking up from a restful night’s sleep, prayer and meditation can help orient you toward the positive.

Focus on what you are grateful for: being out of a marriage that did not serve you. There are limitless opportunities and possibilities for you every day, so start the morning off by getting yourself into a space of gratitude and clarity.

Physical Activity

By now we all know we need exercise. Still, according to the Center for Disease Control’s National Health Interview Survey, only one-third of American men and women between the ages of 25 to 64 engage in regular physical activity.

Regular exercise has shown to decrease your chance of depression, anxiety, and stress. It’s also been linked to higher success in people’s careers. Any form of exercise works: the gym, yard work, cleaning. Just get your body moving and every aspect of your life will thrive.

Get Enough Protein

Eating protein first thing decreases cravings for white carbohydrates, which have been proven to make you fat. Donald Layman, professor emeritus of nutrition at the University of Illinois, recommends eating or drinking at least 30 grams of protein for breakfast. Protein-rich food can help you feel fuller for longer because it takes longer for the body to digest. Protein has also been shown to keep blood-sugar levels steady while also preventing hunger spikes. In The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss, he recommends getting 30 grams of protein within 30 minutes after waking up.

Cold Water Immersion

Sure, none of us wants to step into a cold shower, but try to think of it like getting into a swimming pool. The first 20 seconds feels terrible, but once you’ve done it, it’s fine.

Those who do this report feeling an increase in willpower, creativity, motivation, and inspiration.

Uplifting Content

Seek uplifting content in the form of books. You don’t even have to read – you can listen to an audiobook. Even 15-30 minutes a morning of uplifting and instructive information can change you. Just think about how much that will amount to over time. And just consider the amount of knowledge and life-perspective you will have gained.

Get a Life Vision

Write down your short and long term goals. Reviewing them a few minutes a day can put your day into perspective. Chances are some things have changed after your divorce. Take some time to re-focus your energy on what you really want to accomplish.

Reading your long term goals every day will make sure you think about them every day. As you spend your days working towards your goals, they’ll manifest.

There’s a science to achieving goals, which removes the confusion and ambiguity of them. If you stick to a pattern, you can accomplish your goals, regardless of if they are large or small.

Write them down and review them every single day.

Take a Step Forward

Do the important things first. As you work through the day you’ll find your ability to make high quality decisions becomes fatigued. So if you don’t do the important things first, they simply will not get done. That means if you have to contact your ex-spouse for any reason – to discuss an issue with your children, or to ask if they can switch a day of child care next week, get it done first.

When it comes to personal things, the same is true. There will always be a million reasons to put something off til tomorrow. And tomorrow means never.

Consider this mantra: The worst comes first. Do what you’ve been needing to do first. And then do it again the next day.

Every day you need to take a step towards your goals. With every new step, you’ll realize that your goals aren’t that far away.

Moving Forward

A divorce can shatter your life if you let it. So don’t let it.

Making small steps every day like the ones outlined above will change your life.

Woring with a Therapist

There are so many emotional things that you will need to work through when you decide to end your marriage. You might want to consider reaching out to a therapist or life-coach to help you through the emotional aspects. They can coach you on coping techniques and skills that will help you come to terms with your divorce.

A Family Law Attorney

But when it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case. For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Tags Divorce, divorce papers, Khloe Kardashian, Lamar Odom

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Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton Divorce

Post author By Scott
Post date July 21, 2015

After four years of marriage, Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton have decided to divorce.

Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton Divorce

After meeting 10 years ago when they performed together at the CMT concert, Miranda Lambert, 31, and Blake Shelton, 39, quickly became country’s golden couple. They were married in 2011 in Boerne, Texas. But now it looks like that golden couple has come to an end.

“This is not the future we envisioned,” their representatives said via statement. “And it is with heavy hearts that we move forward separately. We are real people, with real lives, with real families, friends and colleagues. Therefore, we kindly ask for privacy and compassion concerning this very personal matter.”

In 2011, Shelton became a judge on The Voice. Lambert won a Grammy for best country album for Platinum earlier this year.

In a recent interview with Marie Claire, Lambert spoke about her relationship with Shelton, saying, “I’m not sunshine and roses. Blake’s the happiest person on the planet. He pulls me out of my darkness… Literally, everything is the best about being married.”

When USA Today asked about the status of her marriage last year, Lambert said, “I’m happy. You’ll have to ask Blake how he feels.”

“Blake’s really broken up over this,” says a source close to Shelton. He filed for divorce in his native Oklahoma July 6. It seems that she is as well – recently breaking down during a July 18 concert in Cheyenne, Wyo. According to a source close to Lambert, “She’s very heartbroken, sad, and confused.”

Quick Divorce

While it appears the pair’s divorce was granted only two weeks after Shelton filed, the standard length of time it takes in California is 6 months. Timelines will vary by state, so you’ll want to work with an attorney to find out how quickly your divorce is able to take place. Keep in mind, this is a minimum amount of time. Exact time will be based on your specific conditions and your state.

Lambert’s and Shelton’s divorce might have happened quickly, but according to sources close to the couple, the split itself was a long time coming, and that “Both of them have been unhappy for while.”

Despite the couple’s agreement to not go more than two weeks without seeing each other, an insider says “they were rarely together,” and that “Distance was a major factor.”

Celebrity Divorces

By now we all know that divorce is common in Hollywood. But that seems to be the case in regular life as well. Or is it?Up until a few recently released studies, we also believed the divorce rate was 50% and that one in two marriages ended in divorce. But the idea that America is a divorce crisis might not be all that accurate. We actually might be in the middle of an actual marriage (as in getting married) crisis. Seems like a ton of people are questioning how blissful “wedded bliss” actually is.

Some Statistics

Thoughts on divorce and marriage might be shifting in a way that we weren’t quite aware of. Consider these statistics:

Though the overall divorce rate is dropping slightly across the nation, it’s actually on the rise among 25- to 29-year-olds. All this is according to the latest U.S. Census.
One in 10 first marriages fails within five years.
There are fewer marriages actually happening in the first place. According to Pew Research Center analysis, only 51 percent of adults today are married. That’s compared to 72 percent in 1960. From 2009 to 2010 alone, new marriages fell 5 percent.
According to government data, more than half of the births by women under 30 now occur out of wedlock. “This is quite amazing,” says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University. “A hundred years ago, if you had a child out of marriage, you’d be a social disgrace. Today women feel comfortable enough economically and culturally to bring up a child without a recognized commitment from a man.”

So maybe we have a marriage problem, not a divorce problem.

But when it comes to divorce, it’s usually not a decision that is made lightly… although, there are some bizarre reasons.

Weird Reasons for Divorce

Just like every marriage has its own strengths and weaknesses, ever divorce has its own reasons. But sometimes those reasons are really od. Take these for example:

“Guantanamo.” A Saudi woman filed for divorce after she found out her husband had nicknamed her “Guantanamo” in his cellphone. According to Al Arabiya news, she discovered the unflattering nickname when she called his cellphone and realized he had left it at home. The man defended himself, saying the nickname was to protect the couple’s privacy. “I don’t want people sitting around me to know that this is my wife calling,” he said.

Parrot Spills the Beans. According to ABC News, a Chinese woman learned of her husband’s infidelity from the couple’s pet parrot when he started saying the words “divorce,” “I love you,” and “be patient.” She took the parrot with her to the divorce lawyer.

Too Many Cats. When people hate cats, they really hate cats. And when they love them, they really love them. Apparently, enough to give up their marriage. According to the Times of Israel, a man divorced his wife after she brought home 550 cats. In court he said he was unable to sleep on the bed and unable to eat meals because the cats were always in the way or stealing his food. The woman refused to give up the cats so the husband decided to give up the marriage.

Chances are your divorce won’t be for reasons like this. The more common reasons people get divorced are these:

Lack of communication. When you are unable to communicate due to a lack of sharing feelings, or not keeping your partner in the loop about what’s happening with you emotionally, you create distance. A successful relationship has open lines of communication where things can be resolved. Additionally, chances are you both feel as if something is being left unsaid, which can multiply over time and become a much larger issue than had you just confronted the issue from the beginning.

Financial Issues. Money, and lack of it, can lead to a lot of problems in relationships. You and your spouse might have different mindsets about money. You need to sit down and decide on what your financial goals are and then create a way to reach them. Working together and understanding what each spouse wants can help ease a low flow of money.

Feeling Held Back. When you first started dating your spouse you may have felt as if the sky was the limit, or maybe you felt like you needed to change yourself a little for him or her. Over the course of a marriage things can change. You might feel now as if your spouse and marriage are holding you back from achieving goals and taking opportunities. If you don’t feel supported by your spouse you can begin to feel as if you are being held back from really accomplishing what you want to during your lifetime. Try to get a clear-headed assessment. Are you really being held back? Or maybe it’s just how you are perceiving the situation. An open conversation might be the best place to start.

Trust. Trust is one of the leading factors in having a successful relationship and marriage. It can be impossible to achieve anything if you do not trust each other. Ask yourself if there’s a reason for the lack of trust. Was there an infidelity or past infidelities? Or are you just reading into things? Try to get a clear head about why there is not trust in your relationship. Maybe working with a relationship therapist can help you both deal with any trust issues.

Expectations. If you expected one thing at the beginning of the relationship and you aren’t getting it now, or your expectations have changed, you might find that you aren’t as happy in your relationship as you could be.

Your spouse doesn’t understand or fulfill your needs and desires. We all have different needs and wants that need to be met by the significant other in our lives. If you have a partner that doesn’t acknowledge your interests and desires then they won’t do what they can to fulfill your needs and wants.

Sudden Life Change. New changes happen at every moment in our lives. This can be the birth of a child, death of a parent, sudden job loss, a new opportunity for a job across the country. You will both need to be adaptable and know how to be supportive of each other. Life is unplanned, but you should be able to plan that your spouse will be there to support you whether its a good change or a difficult one.

Domestic Violence. If you’ve been in a situation, or are currently in a situation, where your partner has been abusive or controlling in any manner, you should consider seeking help. If need be, contact a trusted family, friend, or an attorney about this matter.

Family Law Attorney

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Tags Blake Shelton, celebrity divorce, Divorce, divorce statistics, Miranda Lambert, reasons for divorce

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Garner and Affleck Divorce

Post author By Scott
Post date July 6, 2015

After months of tabloid speculation, a rep for Hollywood power-couple Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner recently confirmed the couple has decided to divorce. The news comes just a day after their tenth wedding anniversary.

Ben and Jen Divorce Statement

In a statement released by the couple, Affleck, 42, and Garner, 43, had this to say: “After much thought and careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to divorce. We go forward with love and friendship for one another and a commitment to co-parenting our children, whose privacy we ask to be respected during this difficult time. This will be our only comment on this private, family matter.”

Mediation

According to a source close to the couple, Affleck and Garner have been working with a mediator. The source had this to say: “This isn’t going to end up in a dramatic court case, they are trying to resolve it as quickly and easily as possible. Ben and Jennifer have been separated for more than six months. They have been seeing counselors for years. The situation is that people change and they grow apart.”

Mediation, when employed at an early stages of divorce proceedings, has proven to be beneficial for both parties looking to avoid substantial litigation costs and the adversarial nature of a drawn out separation and divorce process. It’s not uncommon for mediation to allow for cases to be settled before they go to actual trial. Because if its more harmonious nature and the fact that costs are usually lower in comparison to drawn out litigious cases, the mediation process is becoming increasingly preferred.

Resolution of conflict between spouses is a delicate process and requires a skilled Divorce and Family Law Mediator to serve as a neutral buffer between the high emotions of a couple on the verge of divorce. The attorneys at the Southern California Law Offices of Divorce Law LA can assist you through the process of deciding whether a divorce settled through mediation and collaborative law is the right choice for you, or if full litigation is required to adequately settle your divorce.

Affleck has been sighted staying in hotels over the past few months. Yet, it seems the couple has decided that he will remain on the property of their Brentwood home, though he will not share the main house. It’s unclear if this is a permanent or temporary arrangement.

Love, Marriage, Children, Divorce

The couple met on the set of “Pearl Harbor” and went on to star alongside each other in the movie “Daredevil,” which was released in 2003. “That’s where I found my wife,” Affleck said in a Playboy magazine interview. “We met on Pearl Harbor, which people hate, but we fell in love on ‘Daredevil.'”

Shortly after, in 2005, they were married. During the wedding during a private ceremony in Turks and Caicos, Garner was four months pregnant with their daughter Violet. The two share three children: Violet, 9, Seraphina, 6, and Samuel, 3.

Children Changed the Marriage

Garner has spoken to Yahoo! Parenting about how children changed the couple’s marriage: “You just go on a ride together because you don’t know who you’re going to be when you first have a baby and you don’t know who [your partner] is going to be. You have to just hang in there while you figure it out — and have a lot of patience for each other.”

Children can bring unavoidable and unspeakable changes to a relationship and marriage. while you might have thought a child would fit neatly into your life, that is not seemingly ever the case. Having a new addition that needs you constantly can mean big changes for you and your spouse.

In an interview with InStyle magazine Garner said: “When we had our first [child], we had only been together a year. We were babies. It happened so fast, I hardly remember what we were like before the kids got here.”

During the same interview she went on to say she and Affleck had a “mindful” marriage.

“You can’t expect to be courted all the time, and I don’t want to court him right now; I don’t have the energy!” she said. “But we’re definitely in a very mindful place where we’re making an effort to be together, do things at the same time, and be loving.”

It seems the two were realistic about their marriage. When Affleck accepted his best picture Oscar in 2013 for Argo he thanked his wife for “working on our marriage,” adding “there’s no one I’d rather work with.”

Timing of Divorce – Just After 10th Wedding Anniversary

Though it seems odd that the two would announce their divorce just after their tenth wedding anniversary, this is a fairly common time of year to divorce. While January seems to be the big month for divorce (often times couples try to hold things together through the already stressful holiday season), the summer school break is also quite popular. It often makes the most sense for re-locations (should a spouse decide to move) to happen over the summer in case schools need to be changed.

Child Custody and Visitation

While it’s unclear how Affleck and Garner will handle the custody of their children, it is most likely they will share custody. Courts often tend to award joint custody when they can, as long as its in the best interest of the children.

There are various forms of child custody: physical and legal, sole and joint.

Physical Custody: The parent has the legal right to have a child live with him or her.

Legal Custody: The parent has the legal right and the legal obligation to make decisions about a child’s upbringing.

Sole Custody: The parent has either sole legal custody or sole physical custody of a child, or both. Usually courts only award sole custody if one parent has been deemed unfit due to alcohol or drug dependency or charges of child abuse or neglect.

Joint Custody: Both parents share the decision-making responsibilities for, and/or physical control and custody of, their shared children. Joint custody can be joint legal custody, joint physical custody (where the children spend a significant portion of time with each parent), or both.

Co-Parenting

In a joint custody arrangement parents are asked to work as part of a co-parenting arrangement. In this arrangement, both parents must create a schedule based on each parent’s work requirements, housing arrangements, and the children’s needs. If parents are not able to come to an agreement when it comes to co-parenting, a court will impose an arrangement.

Various arrangements include:

alternating weeks, months, six-month periods, years or
spending weekends and holidays with one parent and spending weekdays with the other
“bird’s nest custody” or “nesting” during which the children remain in the family home while the parents take turns moving in and out. This can be successful because it does not disrupt the children’s lives that much – they are able to remain in one home and do not have to alternate between their parents’ homes. During the time away from the children the parents each live in a separate apartment or home of their own.

Parenting During Their Relationship

Garner had this to say of the couple’s parenting abilities:

“For better or worse, I tend to be the one who says, ‘This is what needs to happen.’ I know who wants what lunch, and I’ve done all the school paperwork and filled out the emergency cards. Ben doesn’t know that stuff exists,” she said.

“He is in charge of laughter. No matter how much I tickle them or toss them or chase them around, it’s not the same. If I’m the slow, steady drumbeat, he’s the jazz.”

Co-parenting after a divorce can be difficult. As long as both spouses are able to keep the best interests of their children in mind it can be successful.

Signs of Trouble and Legal Separation

Marriage is not easy and can take a lot of work. This can often mean working with a relationship therapist. Couple’s often decide to separate prior to their divorce, as a way to test the waters and determine if they truly want to be apart from each other. It’s advised that even if you do not decide to seek a divorce, that when you do separate, you file for legal separation. Legal separation is a legal process where the couple receives a court order that says they are separated, but does not mean the couple has actually divorced. Often times couples will obtain a legal separation as an alternative to a divorce, because of moral or religious objections to divorce.

Legal separation also does not automatically lead to divorce. There have been numerous times where couples have decided to reconcile and continue their marriage. Should they wish to proceed with a divorce after a legal separation, the couple will still need to file for divorce explicitly.

Working with a Family Law Attorney

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Tags Ben Affleck, celebrity divorce, co-parenting, coparenting schedule, Divorce, High Net-Worth Divorce, Jennifer Garner

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Facebook and Divorce

Post author By Scott
Post date June 1, 2015

Couple Using Laptops on Bed Original Filename: 90133001.jpg

In our current social media age it’s not uncommon for people to vent their unhappiness online. Whether updating a Facebook status to call out an ex-wife for her inability to appear in court on time, or tweeting raves about a judge’s decision, people use social media platforms to tell the world about their lives. And often times that means their lives and their divorces. Before you take to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or any other social media, there are some things you need to know – namely how it could potentially affect your divorce and the judge’s decisions.

Rants Land Man in Prison

The Supreme Court recently overturned the conviction of Anthony Elonis, a Pennsylvania man whose social media rants landed him in prison.

Elonis, often using rapper Eminem’s lyrics, used Facebook to make a series of violent rants against his wife and others. He claimed the rants were not “true threats,” and that the jokes and comments were free speech, and thus protected under the First Amendment.

The court sided with Elonis, 7-2, ruling that the status updates were inadequate for conviction and that prosecutors would need to show that the writer in question actually meant the rants to be threatening.

“Federal criminal liability generally does not turn solely on the results of an act without considering the defendant’s mental state. That understanding “took deep and early root in American soil” and Congress left it intact here,” wrote presiding Chief Justice John Roberts. Roberts noted that the law in question did not explain what mental state should be required for conviction.

While free speech advocates fear that criminalizing Facebook rants might lead to an overall restriction of free speech, others fear that lack of governing laws could lead to far worse situations.

Reason for Divorce

It’s no secret that social media can lead to divorce.

Countless studies have proven that the best way to keep your status as “in a relationship” or “married” you might want to log off Facebook.

A recent survey of 2,000 Brits found that one in seven people had considered divorce as a result of their spouse’s questionable activity on social media outlets such as Facebook, Skype, Snapchat, Twitter or What’sApp.

And almost a quarter of participants polled by the law firm Slater and Gordon said they had an argument at least once a week that was related to social media use. Of that group, 17 percent admitted they fought about social media every day. Fifty-eight percent of those polled said they knew their spouse or partner’s passwords even if their spouse or partner was unaware of it.

Meanwhile, divorce attorneys agree that social media increasingly plays a role in marriage breakdowns. In a 2010 survey done by American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 81 percent of those surveyed said they’d seen an increase in the number of cases that cited social networking as a reason for divorce in the five years prior to the survey. According to the attorneys, Facebook was the number one source for spouses being able to find evidence of their spouse’s infidelity. Of those, 66 percent admitted they’d found evidence through combing through the site.

Social Media as Evidence in Divorce Court

Social media can be a valuable source of evidence in in family law cases involving divorce, child custody, and child support and visitation. It’s not uncommon for people to assume that their Facebook posts, tweets, Instagram photos and other social media activities are more private than they really are. Though people are becoming increasingly more aware of the fact that social media is not as private as they thought, people still continue to post information they otherwise would have never volunteered. This information includes: financial affairs, adultery, improper parenting, and even dangerous or illegal activities such as drug use. It’s all been seen on the internet, and it all still continues to be seen on the internet.

“Privacy” and Divorce

Many users of social media believe their pages are “private” and thus should not be able to be used in a family law battle. In previous cases, people have claimed that their Facebook profiles should be excluded from judgement or as evidence because they are only shared among a small group of Facebook “friends.” Yet courts continue to reject this argument, determining that there is little to no reasonable expectation of privacy with regards to actions taken on a social media platform. Even creator of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, has stated “privacy is no longer a social norm.”

It’s important to remember that while you can control your privacy settings, the information can still be easily shared. Sometimes parties going through domestic law cases “un-friend” the opposing party. Even then, information can still be shared through mutual friends and family members who are still able to see whatever you post. The information can also still be requested by an attorney. In previous cases such as Offenback v. Bowman, Barnes v. CUS Nashville, LLC, and Largent v. Reed judges have privately reviewed information to determine if information should be disclosed in a case.

Deleting Information

You or your ex-spouse might try to hide evidence by deleting it. But this can be dangerous too. Intentionally deleting information can be legally seen as the destruction of evidence. This can cause even more legal trouble in court. In the case of Lester v. Allied Concrete Co, the court fined both the defendant and his attorney for removing harmful posts and pictures on a Facebook page.

But how did they find out?

In our current social media age, it’s not uncommon for lawyers to take to social media to gather evidence when they are first hired for the case. Often times this means an attorney has social media information long before a person has time to delete or conceal the information. When this evidence “goes missing” and that fact becomes evident in a court of law, the deletion can have larger consequences than the original evidence.

How to Deal with an Ex

If your ex is continually bashing you online, try to focus on other things. Maybe it now the chance to prove you’re the bigger person by ignoring them.

Here’s some advice from those who have been through it before:

“Here’s my advice: Ignore it and consider the source. Giving him any satisfaction that he’s affecting you will only empower and embolden him to continue his childish tirades. Rise above it all, and show your daughter how a real adult behaves.”

– Diane D.

“The best revenge is to live a happy life. Remember when he bashes you, he is suffering. Smile and enjoy your freedom from this unkind man.”

– Maggie Z.

“I unfriended everyone we had in common, not in life, but on Facebook. I also blocked my ex and his now-wife and people that I knew to be an issue. It didn’t work all at once. It was a gradual change as I never responded to anything they said and I never said anything about them, but over time it seemed to work. And I really don’t care now. His reputation was very important to him, so he went to great lengths to make sure everyone that knows him thinks I am horrible. I just avoid those people and focus on my own life.”

– Heather P.

“I copied everything and printed it. I did block him after that. Judge was NOT happy about it. Of course we are civil now and different than we were over two years ago. But it is unacceptable behavior and it just makes him look horrible to the judge and mostly himself. Someone that bashes an ex like that on social media is a terrible friend to have. People start seeing the terrible side of him and his immature ways. Ignore it, copy EVERYTHING, then block him. Worked well for me.”

– Nichole S.

To Remember

It’s important to remember that just like in a criminal investigation, anything that you say can– and likely will – be used against you. This is especially true when a court is deciding how to award custody of children. If your Facebook wall is filled with images of you partying, chances are the court might take this into consideration. The same goes for if you use your Facebook wall as a way to voice concerns and your irritation about your ex-spouse’s short-comings. A court wants to know that you are capable of taking care of your children and being able to raise them in, ideally, a co-parenting situation.

Consult a Lawyer

As with anything regarding your divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, child visitation, etc… you should consult a family law attorney. A lawyer from the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA will be able to guide you through the divorce process. The Divorce & Family Law Offices of Divorce Law LA will provide you with the highest level of expertise and professionalism from our skilled attorneys. Our Divorce and Family Law Practice spans a wide spectrum of areas that include: divorce, high net-worth divorce, marital property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Tags child custody and visitation, Divorce, marital property division

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Paltrow and Martin Divorce After Uncoupling Consciously

Post author By Scott
Post date April 27, 2015

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are expected to file divorce papers a year after taking to the internet to explain their “conscious uncoupling.”

Conscious Uncoupling

After the announcement from the actress and musician, “conscious uncoupling” immediately became a trend on Twitter and every other social media outlet. All of a sudden “conscious uncoupling” became part of our lexicon. But what did it mean?

An essay written by Drs.Habib Sadeghi and Sherry Sami (who specialize in combining Eastern and Western medicine) about “conscious uncoupling” accompanied Paltrow and Martin’s announcement. They maintain expectations that your life-long marriage do not match up with humans’ expanded life expectancy. The “success” of a marriage should instead be defined by looking at how meaningful and fulfilling the relationship is for both spouses, rather than how long the marriage lasts.

In simpler terms, conscious uncoupling meant the couple was splitting up.

M. Gary Neuman, marriage expert and creator of the Neuman Method, considers the couple as center of the family. The act of “conscious uncoupling” un-centers the family. This can be dangerous for all obvious reasons.

Keeping the Bliss Alive

According to a study done by American and European researchers, newlyweds only have two years to enjoy the joy that a wedding brings to their relationships. Following the two years, the relationship moves towards one that is more focused on companionship rather than burning love emotions. The study tracked 1,761 people who got married and stayed married over 15 years.

While some couples were happy with the companionship that came after the two years, some couples felt it indicated something was wrong in their marriage. According to the Neuman Method, here are some ways to keep that “spring in your step” when it comes to your relationship.

New experiences – experience something new together like a poetry class or attending a lecture on something that interests you both. You don’t want to drag your spouse along to something they can’t stand.
Travel together
Small surprises go a long way. They don’t even have to cost anything – a love note or a text is a great reminder that you’re thinking of your spouse.
Turn off social media, cell phones, work, etc… Disconnect so you can reconnect.
Pay attention to the little things – the new way she’s doing her hair, or the fact that he is wearing a new cologne.

Marriage takes a lot of work. And even after years of work it can be hard to make it work. Conscious uncoupling demonstrates a kinder approach when moving on from a marriage. One that seems to align with another common trend in divorce: mediation or collaborative divorce.

Collaborative Divorce

As Family lawyer Nathalie Boutet explained, amicable and collaborative divorces or “conscious uncoupling” allows couples to avoid any unnecessary conflict. This type of conflict prolongs and publicizes negotiations, explained Boutet. According to her, “[Conscious uncoupling] is simply thinking about the consequences of your actions…it’s making plans rather than reacting to emotions like fear, anger or revenge.”

During a collaborative divorce process a team of four people—lawyers for each spouse, a mental health coach and financial professional – sit down and work together to create a solution for each spouse regarding everything that needs to be decided: child support and visitation, spousal support, and marital property division. Collaboration is done face to face so that each spouse is able to voice his or her own opinion. The team allows open communication and negotiation. The process allows people to work together as a team of negotiators to come to an emotional, financial, and legal solution.

Less Expensive and Less Time Spent

According to Jenkins, when a divorce goes to court, you can pay $100,000 just to get to the courthouse steps. An average collaborative can save you a ton of money, as the average one costs about $32,000. “People are raiding their retirement accounts just to pay for divorces,” said Rackham Karlsson, a collaborative attorney. “Going to court can be more expensive, more time intensive and corrosive for children.”

An average collaborative divorce takes three to four months to reach a settlement. When it comes to standard divorce, there really is no timeline. In fact, some divorces, when extremely litigious, have been known to drag on for years as spouses fight over property and spousal support, and who will receive the wedding china. And because a standard divorce decision is left up to a judge to decide, there is very little control you have over timing and outcome with a case that goes to divorce court.

A Good Alternative

There are numerous reasons why people choose the collaborative divorce process over the standard divorce process. The main reasons are that it’s less combative, and the final agreement feels more organic and more of well, an actual agreement than a decree. A couple is able to save time, money, and maybe even some headaches if they are able to work as a member of the collaborative divorce process.

Irreconcilable Differences

Paltrow and Martin will be filing “irreconcilable differences” as their reason for the end of their 11-year marriage.

“Irreconcilable differences” is often the cited reason for a divorce filing. Filing “irreconcilable differences” means there is no hope that the couple will be able to resolve the problems they have with each other to be able to save the marriage. Some states use the term ” irretrievable breakdown of the marriage” instead of “irreconcilable differences.” You will need to check with your state’s terminology and grounds for divorces as each state has different requirements regarding what can be cited as the reason. A divorce attorney will be able to advise you on your state’s specific laws regarding grounds for divorce.

California is a no-fault state. “No-fault” means just that – neither party is at fault for the end of the marriage. So neither spouse is able to be found “guilty” for committing any sort of extenuating act, such as adultery, abandonment, or extreme cruelty.

Co-Parenting

Co-parenting is a crucial part of your child’s life. You will not be able to raise a child successfully if you do not get a handle on this. No child wants to see their parents fighting, or feel as if they are being tugged between two sides of a war. If the parents of Apple and Moses have figured it out (Martin and Paltrow) then so can you!

You might need to consult a therapist or lawyer to get some groundwork laid for this new relationship. Bottom line: just try to be adults. You might have to dig deep to find that “adult” in there, and you might not want to, but you have to, for your child’s sake. Find an approach that will work for you (for the both of you) and then start from that point.

Kids Interests First

Putting your child’s best interests above your own are the only way to build a successful co-parenting situation while creating an amicable relationship with your ex. You two don’t need to be best friends that talk a million times a day. You just need to find a way to make this work, kind of like being assigned to a lab partner in high school that you just couldn’t stand. You had to work together to get through the assignment and to get the A+ grade that you wanted. If you could make that work in high school, you can make this relationship work as an adult.

This can be done in a number of ways:

Work out a method of communication. This can be done through email or text. Being able to write it down helps to create a “paper trail” should there be disputes. But this is also a great way to just remove the emotions and stick to the fact.
Remove the emotion during interaction – either in person or via communication
Schedule it out. This means weekly routines as well as vacation and other important events.
Be flexible
Commit to being cooperative. This might be a stretch, but you will need to cooperate.

This is not always an easy process, but once you have these basic things under your belt, it will be easier.

A Family Law Attorney

But when it comes to the actual legal process of a divorce, you’ll want to work with a skilled family law attorney. There are a number of things that need to be considered during a divorce: child support, spousal support, marital property division, and other things. Working with a skilled attorney can help ensure you get a fair case. For advice on divorce, child custody determinations, setting up a co-parenting agreement, dividing marital property, and spousal support you need the expert law firm of Divorce Law LA. Schedule a consultation today.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Tags Child Custody, Chris Martin, co-parenting, Collaborative Divorce, conscious uncoupling, Divorce, Gwyneth Paltrow

Child Custody Child Support Child Visitation Collaborative Law Divorce Family Law High Net-Worth Divorce Marital Property Division Move Aways (Child Relocation) Spousal Support

Cannon-Carey: A Lesson in High Net-Worth Divorce

Post author By Scott
Post date March 17, 2015

Nick Cannon took the twins he shares with estranged wife Mariah Carey out for breakfast in Los Angeles last Friday. Later, the doting dad, 34, posted an image of a Tic Tac Toe game to his Instagram, gushing: #Nothing like some breakfast and a morning game of Tic Tac Toe to get your day going in the right direction! XO’s #DemKids is nice with it! #Geniuses.

Divorce

After living apart for several months, the host of America’s Got Talent filed for divorce on December 12. Around that time he took to Twitter to say: “I will never say anything negative about @MariahCarey We are forever a family rooted in love.

And indeed, it seems the two are making it work, at least in terms of co-parenting.

His breakfast outing was obviously a ‘farewell till the next time,’ as just a few hours he updated his Instagram with a photo of him on the way to the airport captioned: ‘Another Friday Another Flight.’ He’s currently in the middle of auditions for the upcoming season for AGT.

Co-Parenting

Co-parenting, and the act of co-parenting can be difficult for two parents to establish. The word implies that two parents are able to cooperate and communicate efficiently, but that’s not often the case. This becomes glaringly obvious when it’s realized that the main reason two people end a relationship is because of inability to communicate with each other.

But, unfortunately, when it comes to co-parenting, communicate is a must. If you cannot forge that relationship, the number one person, or people being hurt, are the children you share. Making this harder is the idea that even if your number one intention is to communicate effectively, you still have no control over the other person in the co-parenting relationship.

Being a Better Co-Parent

Regardless of how the other parent acts, there are some things that you can do to make the situation better. Realizing that you can improve the situation by improving yourself can help ease the stress. Here are some things that you can do:

Accept that you might not be able to control every situation.
It might be easy to be aggravated by everything your co-parent does, but why spend your time and energy? You can’t change what you can’t change. Instead, channel that energy into creating quality time and moments with your kids. Learn and accept that you are not able to control everything. This can be hard, but it’s important. And that acceptance will free up emotional energy that can and should be spent elsewhere.

Be PRESENT with your kids.
When you are upset about something your mind is there, dwelling on that anger. If something that your co-parent does upsets you, place it to the side and don’t let it get in the way of the time you have with your children. Studies show that being present is the most important thing we can give our kids. Pay attention to them! And practice being mindful of the time you spend with them.

Make your home a calm and secure environment.
You can’t control anything your co-parent does. You can’t change them. But you can change you, and you can control you. So ensure that your home is a calm, grounded, and secure environment for your children. This will provide them with a calm and stable environment during a time that not feel that way. They should feel safe during this time – especially if the co-parenting schedule is new. Being able to give your kids stability will ensure they grow up feeling stable.

Focus on what is GOOD.
It’s not uncommon for divorced co-parents to feel guilty about what the effects of the divorce will have on their kids. You can focus on all the wrong things, but isn’t it better to focus on what’s GOOD? Two parents that love them. The secure and stable home that you’ve created. All the good moments you share. That cannot be taken away by your ex. These good-feeling moments are a great influence on your kids. So remember all the good stuff!

Cannon – Carey Property Division

While it seems they have gotten a hold on co-parenting, one aspect of the Cannon-Carey divorce that still might need some ironing out is the marital property the two share.

Cannon is in the process of moving into a $3 million luxury six bedroom, eight bathroom estate on the east coast ‘to keep the twins out of the spotlight.’ Cannon’s net-worth is over $20 million. He is paying $11,000 a month for the house, with an option to purchase the secluded Saddle River estate in New Jersey.

Carey will be staying on the West Coast and kicks off her Las Vegas residency at Caesars Palace on May 6. She has been spending most of her time in Southern California in preparation for the Sin City run.

Despite having their separate living arrangements, the two seem to be locked in a legal dispute over the division of their assets. Cannon just filed a lawsuit that alleges Carey, along with the couple’s business manager, Michael Kane, sold the couple’s Bel Air Mansion for $4 million less than the asking price without involving him in the sale.

Marital Property Division

California is a community property state, as opposed to an equitable distribution state.

In community property states, all property the couple acquires during the marriage is divided equally. During a divorce settlement, issues such as financial need, ability to earn income, or which spouse is at fault for the divorce are not taken into account when dividing property.

In equitable distribution states, which are the majority of states, marital property division takes into account the financial situation of each spouse. This is different than the 50/50 breakdown of community property states. Though equitable distribution is more flexible, it can be harder to forecast the outcome. This is due to the fact that many factors are taken into account during the settlement negotiations.

When it comes to dividing marital property, there are four concerns that need to be addressed:

Identification of marital assets that are owned by you and your spouse
Assets need to then be categorized as marital or non-marital property.
Value will be assigned to the assets
A plan will be constructed over how to divide these assets. This plan will be made in accordance with state laws.

Marital Property

Not all property is considered “marital property.” It should also be noted that marital property does not only consist of dividing furniture and household items, but also all other financial assets such as bank accounts. And the definition of marital property can vary from state to state. You should work with a divorce attorney that can advise you on your state specific laws regarding property division. Typically though, marital property includes any property that is acquired by either spouse during the course of the marriage. And property acquired by either spouse before the marriage is usually not considered marital property.

Non – Marital Property

That being said, in some states, property acquired during the marriage can be excluded from marital property. Such types of property include:

Gifts or inheritance granted to one spouse during the marriage.
Property purchased with separate funds acquired by one spouse before the marriage.
Property that was excluded in a prenuptial agreement.
The asset is the result of increased value of separate property that was acquired before the marriage.

Preparing Your Finances for Divorce

If you know there will be issues regarding the division of marital assets prior to filing for divorce, there are some things you should do. Namely, you should consider separating any joint financial obligations that are under both of your names. Joint credit accounts should also be considered during the division process. Because of this, it’s advised that you separate any joint accounts. Here are some tips to consider when facing marital property division:

Each spouse should have access to a complete set of all financial documents.
Each spouse should establish their own line of credit, in their own name.
Close all joint credit card accounts.
Create a formal written agreement that outlines the activity on any joint credit accounts until all accounts can be separated.
Open separate bank accounts.
If you must maintain a joint bank account, make sure you have a written agreement outlining the purpose of the account and what the funds will be used for. You might consider that each spouse sign any checks written from that account.
Freeze any investment assets to ensure that neither spouse may misuse funds.
Change the title to your home to “tenants in common.”

Working with a Divorce Attorney

Divorce can be a difficult process, not just for emotional reasons. There are many aspects of a divorce that will need to be legally decided upon, including: child custody and visitation, spousal support, and marital property division. A family law attorney will also be able to provide you with advice on how to create a successful co-parenting situation. This can include the creation of a co-parenting schedule that outlines weekly visits, but also holiday schedules, and other major events. These things can be even harder to work out in a high net-worth divorce. State laws will also play a large factor in how things are divided and settled. Because of this, it’s advised that you work with a local divorce attorney that will be able to advise you specifically in accordance with your state law.

Divorce Law LA, Esq.

Divorce Law LA

33 S. Catalina Ave. Ste. 202

Pasadena, Ca. 91106

(626) 478-3550

https://bestdivorcelawyer.co

Tags Child Custody, co-parenting, Divorce, High Net-Worth Divorce, Mariah Carey, marital property division, Nick Cannon

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